


Témoignage

by DocScout



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2019-11-17 19:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 48,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18105362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DocScout/pseuds/DocScout
Summary: Jane Rizzoli is Head of Mission for Médecins Sans Frontières in Aleppo, Syria. Her base receives a new Medical Coordinator, the highly experienced, Dr Maura Isles. Together, with an incredible team, they set out to alleviate human suffering, to protect life and health, and to restore respect for human beings and their fundamental human rights in the God-forsaken city.





	1. 'imār

Disclaimer: I don't own R&I.

Warning: There will be mild swearing, details of medical trauma, and accounts of war-centred violence ahead. I'll add more specific warnings to their respective chapters when necessary.

This is a Rizzles story. Not sure about how quickly it will progress as their relationship isn't the sole focus but it will always happen whenever I write 😊

This story is about bringing an awareness to what is beyond our 4 walls...

* * *

**CHAPTER 1: 'imār**

_"_ _Mankind's suffering belongs to all men."_  
\- Dr. Bernard Kouchner  
(Co-founder, Médecins Sans Frontières)

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital,_ _Jami'a al-Zayraa district,_ _Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

The dull thuds of broken stone falling away, the scraping of metal, and the shovelling of debris from yesterday's wreckage sounded heavily in the air.

Random yelling in Arabic could be discerned easily but not necessarily understood.

Grunting and panting was heard at the exertion being expended from multiple bodies working hard to clean the space. It didn't matter what colour or religion you were, or what language you spoke, everyone that occupied the buildings close to the ruins, were all labouring side-by-side so that the majority of them could all get back to their more important jobs.

_Contributing to the protection of life and the alleviation of suffering out of respect for human dignity._

That's what they were there for. That was a focus of the charter and the main mission of Médecins Sans Frontières.

The local people were very grateful. Grateful that not everyone in the world had abandoned them. They were the ones left occupying their city. The ones who hadn't fled their homeland, hoping beyond hope that the destruction from the war could be repaired.

The heavy atmosphere was not uncommon and those present were silent, working to their own internal distractions.

A raspy voice broke the quiet momentarily, out of necessity.

"Guys, can you bring the supplies to the back entrance? I need to see Frankie about the structure out front before we start using it again." A tall, curly haired brunette called out to the few men around her as she thrust her spade through the rubble, clearing a path to the main entry of the hospital.

"Yeah, boss. No worries." An African American man called back as he wiped the sweat dripping from his brow.

"Thanks, Barry." The husky voice responded gratefully, losing herself to the non-existent tune of Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E Minor, Op. 64, once again. The memory of its soothing and emotive chords, lulling her back into a sense of purpose.

Barry chuckled as his boss started humming along to the music in her head. It was something she did often. A coping mechanism. They all had them.

His was to imagine traumatic events playing out differently. Where he could become the hero and save everyone involved. Some called it fantasy, he called it wishful thinking.

Barry Frost had arrived in Aleppo 6 months ago, full of excitement and innocent to the true nature of the work to be done in the God-forsaken city.

Within 48 hours of his arrival his innocent eyes had been tainted by an attack made on one of their mobile clinics, killing 2 MSF doctors and several patients.

The news reporters had been all over it. Their callous, detached attitudes were thoroughly despised by their team and the locals. No one gave them the time of day and they had packed up and moved their vans further into the city.

The attack had almost caused him to quit.

His father would have been so disappointed. He had been grooming his son for humanitarian work his whole life. According to Barold Frost Senior, Doctors Without Borders was the ultimate organisation for him to embark a career upon. Lucky for him he never found out that his son quit… because he hadn't.

And Barry was grateful that he hadn't.

He looked across the expanse of rubble to his boss, Jane Rizzoli. She was an excellent Head of Mission and an even better negotiator. Perceiving his first sign of anxiety and want to flee, she had sat him down and practically recited the Chantilly Principles and explained the notion of témoignage with such passion that it had moved him to tears.

It was enough to convince him to stay working in his position as Project Coordinator of medical supplies and security liaison for MSF.

It was enough to convince him to stay after 2 more horrific events and yesterday's attack…

Especially after yesterday's attack.

He felt more dedicated than ever. His dedication was sub par to Jane's. She was practically married to the organisation and he admired her for it.

His boots crunched the surface below as he walked over the uneven ground to load a wheelbarrow full of recently delivered and desperately needed medication. He pushed the full cart toward Jane and waited for a directive from her. _She looks tired._ He scoffed to himself. Jane always looked tired.

The jean-clad woman dropped her shovel on top of the pile of rubble she had created and wiped her hands on the black tank, leaving dusty handprints across her flat abdomen. She rolled her shoulders to try and release the tension in her trapezii muscles. What she really needed was a massage.

Jane brushed away a stray dark lock that had escaped her ponytail and gave a somewhat forced grin to her friend.

Barry knew that strained expression. His boss was stressed. At her wits end but would never actually reach an end. She would push through again and work like a dog until everything was back in order, guaranteeing their security; until everyone was as safe as possible. _I wonder when she slept last?_

"Thanks, Barry. Bring it right in. We gotta clean up through here anyway." Jane pushed open the door and he followed her into the large space that functioned as a supply room. It was the safest room in the building. The coolest too. _God, that feels good._ She sighed at the reprieve from the humidity and felt exhaustion seep into her bones. She lost herself to her memories of the day before as they stocked the narrow shelves with supplies.

The explosion had rocked their residence, only a few hundred metres from where they worked. She had woken to the thunderous sound and the immediate screams that followed. As had everyone else. They all ran out into the street in their pyjamas, no one thinking twice about what they were doing or what they were wearing, they just reacted.

The hospital was still intact but the school across the road hadn't been so lucky. They assumed it had been the target but they weren't sure. Between the opinions of the US military, the Free Syrian Army, and the U.N. security teams, it was assumed that whoever had attacked the school had to have known it would be empty at 4am. They all concluded it to be a warning, but for what? Nobody knew. None of the attacks made much sense to them.

The deafening sounds from the early hours of the morning the day prior were already forgotten as their tight-knit community gathered together to help those injured and affected by the fulmination.

Only 3 fatalities and 12 casualties from the neighbouring homes. It sounded morbid to say 'only' but the team had seen so much worse, especially where they were, on the outskirts of town; a gateway that ushered in the horrors of the war.

It was what they dealt with almost every day.

Témoignage; what they were here to attest to, every single day.

* * *

_Beacon Hill, Boston, Massachusetts, USA_

"Maura, you can't possibly work there!" Constance Isles exclaimed desperately over the phone, trying to convince her daughter to change her mind.

"Mother, I understand your concerns but I have been offered a position that will enable me to truly make a difference." The honey blonde paced the length of her bed, staring at the suitcase half-filled with her most essential items.

"Ethiopia is one thing but Syria?! They are bombing everything left, right, and centre over there!" The English woman's hysterical outburst had Maura cringing.

"I've already accepted the offer, Mother. I'm sorry, I really need to finish packing." She informed her in a neutral tone. She didn't have much time for emotional outbursts and tried to end the conversation quickly.

"Oh, alright." Constance huffed, knowing she wouldn't be able to change her determined daughter's mind. "I assume you've stopped over in Boston before heading out again?"

"Yes, I arrived 2 days ago. I have the house sitter arriving in the next half an hour and my flight to Aleppo is at 11:30pm this evening." _Thank god I showered and changed earlier._ She thought, slightly panicked at how behind schedule she was.

"Ok. Au revoir, darling. Call me when you arrive if you are able, and please stay safe." Constance's voice trembled as she bid her only child farewell.

"I will, Mother. Au revoir." Maura ended the call with a sigh and pressed the play option on her iPod. The strong, dulcet tones of Andrea Bocelli washing over the room, bringing a sense of calm to her.

As she finished packing, Maura pondered her mother's words. She knew she was just worried terribly about her but she couldn't begin to understand it.

It had been the same response for years.

Hospitals in the ghettos of United States cities. Mobile clinics in the war torn Russian Federation. Gypsy camps in France and Romania. Cambodia. Myanmar. North East Africa. Now Syria… Just to name a few.

It didn't matter where Maura was located, her mother always worried. She supposed that was a good thing. It meant she cared. It didn't mean the doctor hated it any less. It bothered her.

The knock on the door broke Maura away from her thoughts.

"Hi, Angela. It's lovely to see you again." She greeted the older woman politely.

She was very happy to have met the Italian woman just 2 days ago when she landed. The sweet lady had just finished her shift at the airport cafe and had given her a ride home.

The doctor had arrived at Logan International late in the evening on a full flight and had been unable to get a cab right away. Desperate to not have to wait in the taxi rank, she offered the older woman $100 to drop her home. Angela had no problem driving the expensively dressed woman home and had refused to accept her money. They exchanged numbers when Angela had insisted that the only payment she wanted was a chat over some coffee.

Maura would have preferred to give her $100.

One car conversation led to another and Maura discovered that the older woman needed to find a rental as her lease was just about up. The doctor also found out that she was heading to the same MSF city that Angela's daughter and son were both currently working.

If Maura believed in miracles, this would certainly be one. She had needed a house sitter desperately and this woman was in desperate need of a house.

Angela gushed over 2 of her 3 children, stating how proud yet terrified she was for them on a regular basis, especially being in the middle east. She wasn't any more settled by Maura's clinical explanations as an attempt to appease the Italian woman from her worries.

The doctor was fascinated to learn about Jane. She sounded like a superhero. Giving her whole life to MSF. She failed to see the similarities in her own life's work. There was no way that she would ever classify herself as a superhero.

"Maura, you have such a beautiful home! Are you sure you want me to stay here?" Angela asked in wonder. She couldn't believe that this would be her home for the next 12 months at least.

"Yes, of course. As long as you don't mind me using the guest house when I come back for Christmas. If you could just sign these papers, the agent will be by on Monday morning to pick them up. I need to leave in about 20 minutes. If you could drop me off at the airport, that would be wonderful."

"Sure." Angela looked over the paperwork and gasped at the amount she was about to agree to. "Maura! I'm not paying only $100 a month to live here!"

"Please, Angela. You are doing me a favour. That money will cover utilities. Please make yourself at home."

The older woman toured the house while Maura finished her packing. When it was time to leave, the blonde put her things in the back of the Italian woman's car and they left for the airport.

Angela looked across the car to the doctor and raised her eyebrows at her attire. "Are you sure you'll be comfortable travelling in that?"

Maura frowned and looked down at her outfit. She wore a comfortable navy blue dress and a modest pair of beige heels. "Yes, this is very comfortable for me to travel in."

"Ok, sweetie. Just makin' sure." Angela turned her attention back to the road and started talking about her children again.

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital, Aleppo City, (Aleppo Governorate), Syria_

"Hello?!" A singsong voice called out from the hallway and Jane made herself known as she poked her head out from the storeroom, already knowing who the visitor was.

"Hey, Charlie. How did the move go?" Jane asked with a weary smile and went back to unloading another wheelbarrow full of supplies.

The tall woman's boots got closer and she leaned against the doorframe with her muscular arms crossed. She smiled back. "It went fine. Some of the kids were obviously scared but most had their parents present, so it wasn't too difficult. Hopefully it will only be until we rebuild the school and they can return."

Jane stopped in surprise at the information. "The Red Cross are gonna rebuild?! You sure you wanna represent them for that?" She shook her head and resumed working.

Charlie sighed. She knew it wasn't a smart move for the organisation but she also knew that the Syrian people would rebuild regardless. The school was a beloved institution in the city and obviously targeted because of that. "I know it seems dumb, Jay, but… what else are we gonna do if that's what they want? They deserve it." The Red Cross Representative shrugged.

"I dunno, Charlie, but you may as well paint a god damn red bullseye on the roof when you're done. They're just gonna blow it to shit again." Jane lifted the last of the supplies and grasped the handles of the wheelbarrow to retrieve another load.

"Hopefully not but we'll see what happens. We're going to be running school in building on the other side of the hospital." The short-haired woman moved out of the way and let the focussed woman pass. She followed her outside and bent over to pick up some items to help. "When's the new Medical Coordinator arriving?"

Jane smiled genuinely at this. It was an event she was very excited about and had been waiting for since last month when the last Medical Coordinator had quit. "She lands at 6:30am tomorrow! I can't wait. She's a trauma surgeon too. You should see her credentials! I just hope she's got the stomach for it." _I really, really hope she's as competent in real life as she is on paper._

"Is she hot?" The muscular woman asked with a smirk.

Jane rolled her eyes. "You're hopeless."

"I know… So, is she?"

"I dunno! I just saw her CV, not her fucking dating profile. She seems incredible. They're transferring her from Ethiopia."

"Wow. It's tough there. She's probably butch like us."

Jane laughed and shoved the much more solid woman next to her. "I'm so not butch!"

Charlie looked up and down at Jane's feminine form. "True. You're too skinny to be butch, but you're still not my type." She teased.

"Thank god for that. I cry way too much to be butch." Jane chuckled. It was true. She was a big softie. It didn't matter how much devastation she saw here, it broke her heart and she often wept at the hopelessness she felt at times. Always on her own though. "Anyway, whatever she's like, I'm sure she'll be ok. She's definitely needed… Ok, that's the last of it. I'll catch you later, unless you're gonna help me unload? I could use your muscles."

"I would but I need to drive out to Bashnatrah. We're looking at partnering with Red Crescent to get water to the communities around there."

"That's great news."

"Yeah, wish me luck. I have to take Gabriel Dean with me."

"Oh, U.N. Security Council Rep?! About time they got off their asses and sent him back. He's alright. Cute too. He cares about what we're all trying to achieve here."

"Cute? Ick, you have horrible taste. Good to know he's a nice guy though… Bye, Jay."

"See ya later."

* * *

_MSF Staff Residence, Aleppo City, (Aleppo Governorate), Syria_

Jane begrudgingly woke to her alarm and rubbed at her face to rouse herself. _Urgh, it's too god damn early._ The only thing that could get her out of bed at 5:30am was usually an emergency but she was making an exception to pick up the highly sought after MSF Medical Coordinator, Dr Maura Isles.

She dressed quickly in a pair of jeans, a dark green t shirt, and hiking boots, and left her tiny room to knock on Vince Korsak's door. He opened it almost right away, dressed and ready to go. They never travelled alone, male or female. It just wasn't smart to do. She was happy when he volunteered to accompany her at the early hour.

"Mornin', Janie." The older man greeted in his usual cheerful tone but noted her haunted look. _Another night of bad dreams._ None were immune to the terrors that plagued them from the things they had witnessed.

"Hey, Vince. You got coffee?" Was rasped, Jane's voice even more husky from the early morning start.

He chuckled and handed her an already prepared mug and closed the door behind him. "Ian and Barry are still sleeping. A call came in last night and they were up until 2am."

Jane followed the older man down the hallway and down the stairs to the 4WD. "Ok, no worries. They deserve the sleep then." She climbed up into the Toyota Land Cruiser and started the engine.

"Ian's pretty excited about this new doctor. Says he worked with her in Ethiopia a couple of years ago."

This piqued Jane's curiosity. She had been reviewing Maura's file multiple times a day, feeling like she was too good to be true. They hardly ever got such a great match for a position and had a person so willingly come. She was very impressed with the doctor's humanitarian-focussed history but even more so that she was available so suddenly.

A perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised in interest. "Yeah?"

"Uh huh. He said she's very beautiful!" Korsak waggled his eyebrows suggestively without any seriousness.

Jane groaned and rolled her eyes. _Why was she surrounded by such pervs?_ She was so not interested in anyone's looks out here. "God, not you too? Charlie will be all over her then." She looked across at him incredulously. "Ian really said that?!" The Australian doctor was usually very quiet and one of the few doctors that had gained her respect in the time she had been in Syria.

"Yep. She must be a looker for him to mention it." Vince had been surprised at Ian's uncharacteristic openness too.

"Yeah… Well, we could certainly do with a bit of beauty around here but I honestly don't care what she looks like as long as she can live up to half of what's on her file." She pulled up outside of the terminal and turned off the car.

"I can't believe anyone has time for a relationship with all the work we have to do." Vince commented with a shrug. He definitely wasn't interested in pursuing one. He was only here for one thing.

"Mmm, I agree but not everyone is as busy as you. I think Logistics is something that requires about 100 hours a week to coordinate! I barely slept when I was in that role in Sudan." Jane allowed herself to daydream for a moment. _It would be nice to have someone to share this experience with but finding the right person seemed impossible. Finding would mean you were actually looking, Jane._ "Certainly no time for a love life. God, the options are pretty limited anyway! I'd settle for a good friend."

They both chuckled at the reality in her statement.

"Hey! You've got me." He shoved her gently and she shoved him back.

"I know, but I mean a woman. Someone to talk with about whatever. Guys suck at that."

Besides Charlie and Nina, there weren't any other females that Jane spoke to. The majority of the doctors were male and the nurses were mostly Syrian and not very sociable.

"True."

They both got lost in their own reflections.

Vince reminisced over his 3 failed marriages and was happy that he hadn't begun another relationship before basing himself in Aleppo. He didn't think he could handle the heartache of another woman promising to stick with him and not follow through.

Jane thoroughly loved the idea of being with someone. She had secretly wanted the whole marriage and family deal since she was a young girl, but her passion had kept her from finding anyone that could stick with her long enough to get there. When she thought about the actual practical side of a relationship, it never seemed to work how it played out in her head. Not that she had been in a relationship in years.

Her poor mother was a bit put out by it all. Having a 39 year old single daughter, living in a war torn country without a prospective partner in sight, was a disgrace to an Italian family. It didn't help that her younger brother had followed her over, adding salt to the already open wound her mother seemed to carry.

She was happy that he had found someone though. Frankie and Nina had hit it off right away and had been dating for a few months. Jane was excited for her brother. In this line of work, when you found someone that could deal with it and love it as much as you, you held on to them tightly and didn't let go.

Jane parked their vehicle and the pair entered the airport, walking straight to the arrivals board. Jane found the flight number and checked it with her paperwork. "Her flight's landed. I guess we'll just wait here for them to clear her."

They stood off to the side and watched as people began to trickle through the exit.

The foreigners were so obvious and so few and far between. It was almost comical and Jane would have laughed if not for the serious atmosphere inside. Armed Syrian guards in military garb with fierce looks on their faces would make anyone think twice about joking around or doing anything stupid at this airport.

"You look tired, Jane."

The curly haired woman shook her head and scoffed humourlessly. "Aren't we all?" She pulled at the front of her t shirt, the collar already slightly wet from perspiration, even at the early hour.

"Yeah, but when was the last time you had time to yourself? Time to relax and unwind? Or even sleep?"

"Seriously, Vince? I can't even think about sleeping when we just pulled several dead bodies out of a bomb blast and several more that are barely scraping through in our short-staffed hospital." She scuffed her booted foot on the ragged wooden floor and folded her arms across her chest defensively, head bowed.

Vince's light blue eyes examined her guarded face. He placed a hand on her shoulder with care and sympathy. "Kiddo, I know you feel responsible but you gotta look after yourself first so you can look after others better." His hand fell away as she failed to respond. He knew she was listening at least. "Hopefully our new doc will help alleviate some of that burden from your shoulders, huh?"

She just shrugged and looked down to inspect her filthy nails, becoming absorbed in cleaning underneath them. As she futilely scratched at the dirt, she missed the tapping of shoes on the hard flooring.

Vince nudged her and nodded towards a stunning woman wearing expensive heels and what looked to be a designer dress. A navy blue number that was tight in all of the right places, accentuating a well-looked after, petite body. Several other people also noticed the impeccably dressed, golden haired beauty and stared shamelessly. Maura didn't seem to notice as she approached the duo with her suitcases rolling easily behind her.

Jane's internal reaction was an array of conflicted feelings. Surprise, annoyance, attraction, bewilderment, and admiration, all coursed through her system. She took a deep breath as the gorgeous woman reached them and gave a dimpled smile that reflected excitement at a new endeavour.

_Adorable._ Jane thought and smiled back genuinely. She couldn't hide her interest even if she tried. And, it wasn't even due to the woman's outward appearance. She had poured over Maura's file, completely astounded that someone could achieve so much in their 35 years of life.

She couldn't wait to find out more about the fascinating doctor.

"Ms Rizzoli?" The soft lilting voice asked with her hand out in front of her.

The brunette grasped it, surprised at the firm grip. "Yeah, it's just Jane. I'm assuming you're Dr Maura Isles, our new Medical Coordinator?" She shook the smaller hand and held it for a few moments, relishing in the softness and wondered to herself how the hell this perfect creature was able to maintain such smoothness in the midst of chaos in Northern Africa.

"Yes. Please call me Maura. I look forward to reporting to you." The doctor responded formally, relinquishing her hold on Jane's hand and held it out to Vince.

"Vince Korsak, Logistics Coordinator." He gave her a warm smile and looked down at her minimal baggage. "That all you got, doc?"

"Yes. I can't imagine I'll be needing too much here." She grinned again and Jane melted.

The brunette moved to pick up one of the modest sized suitcases and Vince grabbed the other.

"Oh, that's not necessary. I can—"

"I'm sure you can, Maura, but you just got off a 12 hour flight. It's the least we can do." Jane smiled charmingly at the smaller woman and Maura fought the butterflies the attractive grin induced.

Angela didn't tell her how beautiful her daughter was. _Why would she, Maura?_ The doctor discretely observed the tall woman. She had a striking feminine body that was contrasted by semi-masculine attire. It suited her.

"Thank you." Maura expressed her gratitude reluctantly and followed them outside, looking around curiously as they got to their vehicle.

Jane opened the passenger door for her and held a hand out to help her up into her seat.

It was a defining moment.

The action caused Maura to frown. She knew the Head of Mission was only trying to be polite. She had no idea what the tall woman was normally like but she didn't want to be seen as some kind of incapable woman who couldn't even get herself into a 4WD. Many had made that mistake and it had changed the dynamic of her working relationship with them. She didn't enjoy condescending attitudes at all.

If the Head of Mission was anything like her mother, then Maura knew that enforcing her superiority wasn't Jane's intention, but the doctor needed to assert her independence and ability to look after herself right in this moment.

Maura ignored the hand and pulled herself into the front passenger seat with ease and raised an eyebrow at Jane. "I promise I'm more resilient than I look. This will not be my regular attire here in Aleppo nor does it define my capabilities." She informed as gently but firmly as she could.

The smile left Jane's face and she felt guilty all of a sudden. She knew better than to assume based on appearance but she had. "Sorry, doc. I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sure, considering your history with MSF, that you're more than capable. I was merely trying to be chivalrous. My mistake." She closed the door and made her way to the driver's side, giving Vince a look to be quiet. The older man fought a chuckle and got into the back of the vehicle.

Maura uncharacteristically placed her hand over the tanned one on the gear stick and patted it softly. "No offence taken at your courteous actions, Jane. I just don't want you to think of me as a liability." She aimed a small smile at the brunette and removed her hand back to her lap.

"I definitely don't think that, Maura. We're so excited to have you join us." Jane tried to ignore the tingling the doctor's touch had left on her skin as she pulled onto the main road and headed west, for the 13km drive back towards the hospital.

"Yeah, Dr Faulkner said you're the absolute best!" Vince commented cheerfully.

"Ian is a little dramatic. I'm not the best. I simply love what I do and aim to do it well." Maura stated modestly.

"I love your humility, doc, but I've read your file about 100 times. You're a dream come true!" Jane exclaimed, eyes focussed on the dilapidated road, completely missing the blush on the honey blonde's face.

Maura looked out the window and felt the rush she always felt when starting somewhere new. It was devastating scenery and she watched despondently as people moved around the ruins of their half blown up homes and buildings, trying to fill their days with something more than just surviving. Out here, that wasn't exactly possible.

There were still major sections of the city in tact but in the east, where they were located, the rebuilding was a slow moving process. Especially seeing that they were targeted regularly.

She turned back to Jane, remembering the conversation she had with Angela less than 24 hours ago. "Oh! I hope you don't think this is weird but I met your mother in Boston."

"What the—"

"I know. Such an odd coincidence. Anyway, she gave me a package to give you and your brother."

"Oh wow. Uh, how did you meet my Ma?" Jane smiled at the thought of her mother.

"She gave me a lift home from the airport. It was very sweet of her. I was tired and offered her money but she refused."

"That's my Ma, she'd do anything for anyone." Jane worried about her mother often. The older woman was currently looking after Tommy, her youngest brother, and on a single income. It had been a tough couple of years for her since her divorce.

"Yes, she's a sweetheart. She'll be housesitting for me while I'm here."

"Huh? Seriously?" The brunette looked over at the nonchalant doctor who had just told her some of the best news she had heard in a long time.

Maura made eye contact with Jane briefly, a tiny frown formed for a moment at the driver's excited tone, and then she went neutral again. "Yes, I'm serious."

"Wow, that's awesome news, hey, Janie?! She was lookin' for a place and then, bam! You guys meet and she has one." Vince chuckled and shook his head unbelieving of the circumstances.

Jane just nodded, a smile plastered to her face. She really should try and call her mother soon. It had been at least a month since they had spoken. The only interaction they had was via email and usually because her mother was frantic with worry, having heard some terrible news like the bombing just 2 days ago.

She wondered about everyone else's families and how they reacted to the news that frequented their televisions.

The brunette addressed the doctor with a change of topic. "Did you hear about the school that was blown up across the road from the hospital?"

"Yes. I had an email from the Project Coordinator for outpatient care. Nina something?"

"Nina Holiday."

"Mmhmm. She informed me of the recent attack." Maura closed her eyes briefly, fighting fatigue. She never slept well on planes and felt like she had been awake for too long.

"Tired?" Jane asked sympathetically.

"Unfortunately. I would like to try and push through the day though or I'll never sleep this evening."

"You could take a nap? That shouldn't hurt… here we are." Jane pulled up outside of a large traditional courtyard house a few hundred metres away from the hospital. "The hospital is just down the street but please don't go out alone, even from the residence here to the hospital… You're, um, sharing with me. Hope that's ok?" _Why do I suddenly feel so shy? God, get over it, Rizzoli._

"Of course." Maura claimed as she picked up her purse and laptop bag. She reluctantly accepted Vince and Jane retrieving her suitcases and they passed through the number of relatively small openings in the external façade, and entered the front door.

Maura marvelled at the original architecture and tried to keep up with the pair who had walked through the ancient wonder thousands of times before, completely unaware of the doctor's distracted state. Maura ran her fingers along the natural stone and wooden doorways as they passed a few rooms. Her eyes widened like a small child's when they reached the end of the entry hallway and the house opened out just as she had expected it to.

In the middle of all of the rooms was a stunning inner courtyard with an out of commission, fractured fountain at the centre. She observed the multitude of paving stones evenly distributed over the medium-sized expanse. An outdoor setting that didn't seem to be used much. She imagined the beautiful garden that would have once been tended to and added to the beauty of the home once upon a time.

Maura was sad to see that no one had been looking after it and the only living thing remaining was a lemon tree in a terracotta pot, surrounded by weeds and a mound of dark dirt in one corner.

"Maura?"

The doctor recovered quickly from her daydream and met Jane's curious eyes. "Sorry, I— have always wanted to see inside of a traditional Islamic courtyard house. I had no idea I'd be living in one. They're the most common domestic structure in this part of the country, I don't know why I didn't think of the possibility." She concluded with excitement.

The awe present as Maura spoke, floored Jane. She didn't have a clue about the type of home she had been residing in over the past 2 years, nor did she understand any historical significance of it.

"I, uh, guess you can cross that off your bucket list then?" Jane joked softly and Maura smiled at her in agreement. "Let's get your stuff to our room and then I promise to give you the grand tour."

Mara's smile widened at the suggestion and she followed the pair around the next corner, to her shared room.

Once they arrived, the doctor sighed in repose. She was happy to finally be here.

* * *

'imār = The process of reconstruction, which is the development of both the land and the human being.

* * *

What did you think? Don't be shy, let me know ️


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**CHAPTER 2: Protagonists**

_"_ _We are those who do not disconnect the values of their minds from the actions of their bodies, those who do not leave their values to empty dreams, but bring them into existence, those who give material form to thoughts, and reality to values."  
_ \- Ayn Rand, 'Atlas Shrugged'

* * *

_MSF/ICRC Residence,_ _Jami'a al-Zayraa district,_ _Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Jane unlocked the bedroom door and Vince placed Maura's bag in the corner of the room next to the one Jane had rolled in. He tried to stifle a yawn as he bid them goodbye. "I'm gonna go check on my roomies. If Ian's awake, I'll let him know you're here, doc."

Maura smiled at the mention of her friend and colleague. "Thank you, Vince."

"Ok, so, I'll make sure to introduce you to the team once you've settled but you probably want to check in with Jack Armstrong before the end of the day to make sure he has all of your details for payroll. He's our Finance & HR Coordinator." Jane informed the doctor and hastily pulled at her blankets in an effort to not appear like a slob.

"Sure." Maura had so many questions but she was tired and wanted to explore her new space before meeting anyone.

The honey blonde placed her handbag on the made up bed, deducing that it was hers based on Jane busying herself making up the other. As she sat down, her right leg automatically crossed over her left thigh and she placed her hands in her lap, observing the sparse room with keen interest.

As simple as it was, there wasn't much need for anything. Except for maybe a little decoration. The intricate wallpaper had been mostly peeled away and replaced with a dull grey paint that did not compliment the rest of the building.

Their two small beds were on opposite sides of the room, only about a metre separating them with a small bedside table between, and a lamp on top. A small speaker and a well read book sat precariously on the edge of the bedside table but Maura couldn't make out what it was from the angle she was sitting.

A set of drawers were positioned against the walls at each end of the beds and that was it for furniture. A closed door was just to the right hand side, at the base of Jane's bed. Maura assumed it was a small washroom or cupboard. It was definitely minimalistic but the doctor was grateful that she at least had something to fold and put her clothing into. She didn't have such a luxury in her tent in Ethiopia.

Jane flicked a switch on the wall near the door and Maura looked up at the sound of a rickety ceiling fan beginning to whir. The brunette turned back to the doctor and spread her arms wide, grinning with a hint of mischief.

"So, this is our decadent space." She pointed to the head of the beds. "The barred windows open up to the road and they don't allow for much privacy so I keep them closed most of the time. The door is tricky. You have to open the left side first and then the right to open them both right out." She demonstrated what she meant and Maura smiled at the view of the courtyard.

"Ok."

"Being May, it's going to heat up quickly. I'm starting to sweat." She grimaced at her overshare but the doctor wasn't bothered at all.

"Yes, I can feel the heat already. I can handle a bit of humidity. It's nice to have a fan though." Maura smiled at the familiar conditions and Jane gave a knowing look. Once you had braved the African heat, you could handle almost anything.

"Shall I take you on a tour now?" Jane smiled when Maura's face lit up at the offer.

"Yes! Let's go." She stood and stepped around the Head of Mission, back out to the tiled walkway that was the only space between their room and the open internal courtyard. She ran her hand over the rough cement of the pillar and her fingertips trailed over the mosaic pattern that encircled the column.

Jane locked their room back up and gently put her fingertips to the blonde's elbow to get her attention, steering her in the direction they had come in from. They only took a few steps before she removed her hand but both of them felt the loss.

Noticing the leisurely pace that Maura was walking and the roving eyes trying to take everything in, Jane slowed her gait and enjoyed the awestruck look on the smaller woman's face. She couldn't imagine much would faze the experienced, well-travelled doctor but it seemed that Arabic architecture and design was something that she was amazed by.

It was a wonder to watch. Maura had a childlike innocence about her that was highly endearing. Before her thoughts took her down a path she didn't want to go, Jane resumed her description of their house.

She pointed to the stairs inside the courtyard that hooked on a right angle to the basement courtyard and led upstairs to a mezzanine style landing. "The men's rooms and their bathroom are upstairs. The same stairs lead to a small basement level courtyard just to the side over there."

"How many rooms are upstairs?"

"4 and there are 6 downstairs. The men's sleep 3 in each and are pretty much full. The women's sleep 2 and we have 2 spare." Jane studied the doctor's face again, enjoying the way she absorbed everything that was being said.

Maura caught Jane's eyes watching her and she stopped at the garden end of the square courtyard, looking at the lonely lemon tree. The dry dirt it sat upon would have once held beautiful luscious vegetation and vibrant plants. Sensing the brunette's intrigue, Maura gestured to the large space.

"Did you know that Arab nomads first made use of the concept of a courtyard during their travels and stay in the desert? They set up their tents around a central space, which provided shelter and security to their cattle. With the development of Arab-Islamic architecture, the courtyard became an essential typological element." The doctor suddenly blushed in embarrassment as if realising that she had perhaps overshared, but it disappeared at Jane's response. The Head of Mission put her at ease right away.

Jane thought she could listen to this woman speak all day. "That's so interesting. I think I read an article about how the whole idea of it was to bring family together?"

"Yes, exactly. The reconstruction of homes in Aleppo need to include these spaces to help continue the cultural importance of the social bonding between families and neighbours."

"Yeah, I totally agree."

The pair kept walking around the outside until they came to a walkway on their right.

"There's a small common room at the end of this walkway if you go straight ahead from here." The brunette pointed to the large room that a couple of people were currently relaxing in. "There's a few couches, a table tennis table, board games, and an old tv."

"Wow, a television?" Maura was surprised.

"Don't get too excited. It only plays dvds. No local channels and only works for about 6 hours a day."

One of the residents exited the common room and smiled at the pair. "Hello, Jane." The young English woman greeted cheerfully.

"Hi, Rosie." Jane stepped back slightly to present Maura, her hand almost making contact with the smaller woman's lower back. She pulled her hand away before connecting. "This is our new Medical Coordinator, Dr Maura Isles. Maura, this is Rosie Stanton. She's one of the MSF nurses here."

Rosie grinned brightly and held out her hand to the doctor. "Nice to meet you, Dr Isles."

"Likewise, Ms. Stanton." Maura smiled politely back and firmly gripped the thin hand.

The light haired woman's grin widened at the formality. It reminded her of home. "Just call me Rosie." She let go and looked back to Jane. "Do you know if Ian is working today?" The small woman blushed, her fair skin unforgiving as it flushed bright red.

Jane laughed and glanced over to see Maura's reaction to the question. Everyone knew that Rosie had a major crush on the Australian doctor but only Vince and Jane knew that Maura had some sort of history with him. At the moment, they knew it to be work-related only, but Jane wanted to see if the blonde reacted to the nurse's infatuation and if there was more to their history than the obvious.

Nothing. No change in her polite smile. Not even the blink of an eye at the revelation.

"Yeah, Rosie. He's working but probably wont be in until later. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you." Jane winked at her and laughed as her blush deepened.

The young woman nodded in happy acceptance and scurried off to her room to get ready for the long day ahead.

Jane looked over at Maura a few more times as they walked further around the corner. She contemplated asking about Ian but considering they had only known each other for a few hours, she decided to save questions of that nature for another day. They stopped outside another set of large wooden double doors. "Here's the communal kitchen." They stepped inside the generous sized space and Maura grinned at having somewhere that she could cook.

The wallpaper was still intact and once again, the doctor couldn't keep her hands from reaching out and touching it. "This is beautiful… Oh my, there's an old tabun!"

"A what?"

"It's an oven. They were originally made from clay but this one is metal. They're fantastic for making flatbreads."

"Oh cool… Is there anything you don't know?" Jane asked, highly entertained by the tidbits of history she was learning from the intelligent doctor.

Not grasping the lighthearted comment, Maura's face expressed regret. "I'm sorry. I tend to find things fascinating that most others—"

"Whoa, no! Hey, I was just teasing. I think it's adorable!" _Adorable? Shit, why not just pet her on the head while you're at it and embarrass yourself more._

Maura didn't seem to notice her embarrassment but rather, her face expressed relief at Jane's words. "Oh. Well, please tell me to stop if it becomes tedious for you." She asked sincerely and the brunette heard the seriousness in her tone, making her wonder about why it was present.

"I doubt that will happen, but ok." Jane grinned at her and went back to explaining about the logistics of how everything worked. "Uh, the fridge runs on a generator and is a little dicey sometimes so always check your cold stuff. There seems to be a mutual trust present that's working for us so far, so just label your own items and nobody will touch them."

"Is there a market and grocery store nearby?"

"Yeah, there's one just a few blocks from here. I can take you later today but for now, help yourself to anything that's mine."

Maura tried not to wear the shock she felt on her face. Never in her years of working in this industry had she had someone be so immediately kind to her. "Thank you, Jane. That's very generous of you." She gave a courteous smile that didn't quite register as warm but it wasn't insincere. The brunette didn't know quite what to make of it.

"No worries at all." The tall woman smiled proudly and stepped back out of the kitchen, Maura right behind her. "There's also a few great markets across the city. Al-Jamiliyah markets are my favourite, especially right now with Ramadan about to begin, but it's still a really unstable area to visit."

"How is it unstable?"

"Well, everywhere is unstable considering the Kurdish, Rebel, and Regime forces present but in the centre of the city it's structurally unsound. So many buildings are still standing but it wouldn't take much for them to come tumbling down."

"Such a shame to happen to this beautiful city. I look forward to visiting some of the ancient sites."

"Hopefully you get time to!" Jane joked as they finally came almost full circle but stopped at a large white door just before their room. "This is the shared female bathroom but we have a tiny shower and toilet in our room if you'd rather use that. I sure as hell do." Jane unlocked their door and looked around the space a little more self-consciously.

"A private bathroom, no matter how small, is certainly a luxury compared to the makeshift shower and toilet I've been using for the past 3 years." Maura shared as she sat on the bed and slipped off her high heels, giving a tiny moan at her feet's freedom.

Jane sat across from her and rested her hands on her knees, trying not to react to the blonde's close proximity. "I read on your file that you just finished in Ethiopia."

"Yes, the main office was based in Addis Adaba but I mostly worked in remote camps in the Gambella region." The doctor put her shoes neatly to the side and crossed one leg over the other. She got a good idea of how small the space between their beds was when her foot grazed the tall woman's shin.

They both ignored the little flutter they felt at the unintentional contact.

"Wow, that's with the South Sudanese refugees, right? Did you enjoy it?"

Maura looked at Jane's captivated face. She wasn't great at reading social cues but she knew the woman was genuinely asking about her experience and actually cared about her response.

"That's a tough question." She smiled at Jane's understanding chuckle. "I was mostly in trauma surgery. It was rewarding work but devastating circumstances… I _hated_ sleeping on a stretcher and living in a tent."

"Oh yeah, I remember those horrid stretchers. I did 4 years in a camp in East Darfur as a Logistics Coordinator."

"4 years! Did you enjoy it? We were practically neighbours." Maura was amazed at how easy Jane was to talk to. She hadn't ever clicked so smoothly with another female in her team before. It was like a breath of fresh air that she just wanted to continue to inhale.

"Yeah, I loved it there. I wonder if we crossed paths at all in that time?"

"Possibly. I think I would have remembered you though." The doctor smiled a little shyly. _Do NOT flirt with her, Maura._ She had firm rules about dating. She didn't do it. Period. It was dangerous and had the ability to leave her heartbroken. It had already left her heartbroken and she wasn't going to make the same mistake. She reminded herself that this kind and generous woman was also her boss. _Another reason to stay unattached._

"Ha, yeah, I think I woulda remembered you too."

They both smiled at each other a little nervously, neither picking up on the other's slightly out of character behaviour.

"In regards to living arrangements, we have it pretty great here." Jane stated and the doctor agreed happily.

Unable to resist, Maura uncrossed her legs and leaned over to check what book Jane was reading. "Atlas Shrugged." She spoke aloud and looked back at the tall woman, impressed. "The fall of American prosperity and the rise of Objectivism… The role that the human mind plays in human existence." Maura stopped her annotation of one of her favourite fictional stories before she annoyed the patient woman. "Is the work here not keeping you busy enough?" She joked. She had noticed the brunette's periorbital dark circles and felt a pang of sympathy for her. Head of Mission was not an easy job.

Jane gave a short mirthful scoff. "You really _are_ brilliant… Um, actually Ian loaned it to me. He said I reminded him of the main character but I'm not seeing it yet."

"I'm assuming he meant Dagny Taggart and not John Galt?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Hmm, well, I don't know you at all so my judgement would be impermissible at this stage but if Ian thinks that, then you must be quite admirable and a woman of high integrity." Maura gave a little grin.

Jane turned a light shade of crimson as she blushed at the explanation. "Uh, um— We have a safe in our bathroom in case you want to put your valuables in there. My passport lives in it and I keep a photocopy on me at all times and at the hospital too."

"Good idea. I don't have many valuables but my passport is obviously an important one."

Jane glanced down to her wrist and caught the time on her watch. The two women had been touring and talking for 2 hours. She got up abruptly as if just remembering something. "Sorry, I just realised I gotta go to the hospital and make sure Kent, um, Dr Drake has seen the new lot of meds that just came in. Why don't you have a rest? I'll come back and make you something to eat in a couple of hours."

"Oh, Jane, that's so- kind of you but would you mind waiting a few more minutes? I'd like to join you but need to change first."

"Yeah, sure." Jane turned slightly to give the woman some privacy but Maura wasn't bothered at all.

The doctor partially unzipped her dress and shuffled closer to Jane. "I can't quite reach the back of my dress. Could you please unzip me the rest of the way?" She backed up slightly in the tiny space between the beds and lifted her golden hair over one shoulder.

"Huh?" Jane stalled for a moment in shock and then gathered her wits and responded eagerly. A little too eagerly. "Oh, yep!" She lowered the zipper of the expensive dress with shaky hands. The knuckle of her middle finger grazed the skin of the doctor's back accidentally and a shot of arousal surged through her body when she noticed the petite woman wasn't wearing a bra. It happened again as she grazed lace and decided she needed to stop before the zipper caught on the material. _Oh my god! Get yourself together! You are not a teenager. She's a woman, you're a woman. You react like that every time she changes and you're gonna be a blubbering, incompetent mess 24/7._

She didn't have time to turn away as Maura shimmied out of the navy blue dress, revealing lacy black panties that hugged the toned ass perfectly. She bent over without a hint of modesty to pick up her dress and laid it out on her bed. She then proceeded to casually move topless around the room, pulling items out of her suitcase.

 _Holy Fu—_ Jane censored her inner monologue and stood staring in a trance, mesmerised by the subtle muscles in the doctor's arms, legs, back, and abdominals, covered by soft, even coloured, lightly tanned skin. Her heart beat loudly in her chest. All she could think about was the multitude of incredible poetry that existed to describe the perfection before her, but in this moment she couldn't recall any of it.

"Do you have any socks I could b—" Maura looked up and caught the taller woman eyeing her body. She bit her lip to avoid the smirk that desperately wanted to form. "—borrow?" She finished, ignoring the brunette's obvious attempt to look away and appear unfazed. _Was she checking me out or just observing, one woman to another?_ The doctor pondered while waiting for a response. _Either way, it doesn't matter. I am not getting involved with anyone here._

"Socks?" Jane asked, voice thick with arousal. She walked over to her drawers and rummaged through her underwear, trying to hide her blush. _God, you're as bad as Charlie! Jeez, has it been that long? I don't think it would matter if it hadn't been that long, she's so god damn gorgeous._ She fumbled around in her drawer trying to find some socks that wouldn't embarrass her too much.

"Yes, sorry. I can't seem to find mine and I don't want to keep you waiting." The doctor slipped her bra on and pulled on a pair of tailored khaki pants and a black scoop neck shirt.

"Uh, here you go." Jane handed her the nicest socks she could find.

"Thank you." Maura bent over to slip them onto her smaller feet and put her fashionable but well-worn leather boots on. She stood up ready to go and exited the room when Jane opened the door, waiting for her to walk through it. Maura paused momentarily to give the brunette a mildly reprimanding look but allowed the thoughtful action anyway.

Jane closed her eyes and mentally slapped herself for her behaviour as she locked up. _Get yourself together, Jane. Don't piss off your roomie. Your very, very attractive roomie._ "Um, here's your key. I have one and Barry has a spare. I'll introduce you to him if he's up. He went out with Ian on a late call."

"Is Barry also a doctor? I'd like to meet with the Chief of Medicine and all of our doctors as soon as possible."

Jane tried to understand the abrupt change in the smaller woman. She had shifted back into the formal tone she had used earlier, before their bedroom conversation.

The golden flecks in Maura's hazel eyes spoke of a depth of personality that drew Jane in, but then she had this clinical demeanour that portrayed a detachment that was usually present in doctors after they had become jaded by the things they had seen and experienced. She guessed she would have ample opportunity to figure her out, considering their living arrangements.

"No, he's the Project Coordinator for medical supplies and helps me manage the security team. We currently have about 9 doctors and 17 nurses at the hospital. 4 MSF docs. Most of the nurses are locals. We need more staff but it's hard to get anyone to commit here. We just had 3 doctors leave. The government barely have any control left which means we could be forced to evacuate at any moment."

They stepped out of the building and began the short walk to the hospital, dodging piles of rocks and chunks of road missing along the way. Jane was already wishing she had changed to shorts. 10am and it was already too hot.

"Mmm, I read that but hopefully it wont happen. The hospital has 38 beds, right?"

"Yeah." The brunette looked across to the doctor's tastefully booted feet as they easily traversed the potholed tarmac. Every step she took and new question asked, the Head of Mission became more impressed.

"And it has the highest volume of outpatient consults in the city?"

Jane wasn't sure why she was even more impressed being face-to-face. She had read Maura's file and wasn't over her awestruck state yet. The woman had more credentials than Jane had fingers, a lifetime of experience, and was a genius; of course she had done her research before accepting this assignment.

"Uh huh. In the past 2 years that I've been here we've conducted over 30,000 outpatient consults and around 15,000 emergency ones. There have also been 1,200 surgical interventions performed and the Obstetrics team saw 6,000 patients for antenatal, postnatal, and family planning consultations, and delivered approximately 400 babies."

"That's astounding. It would be helpful to get a few more doctors though. I'll speak with the Chief of Medicine and deduce the greatest level of need."

"Yeah, sure. Let me know if I can help in any way." Jane offered and smiled at the younger woman.

"Perhaps you could organise a time for us all to meet together tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure thing."

They arrived at the hospital and Maura scanned the destruction to the surrounding area across the road. The wreckage had spread to the front entrance of the building and had only been partially cleared away.

There were several hospital staff and volunteers removing more debris. She observed the Red Cross workers across the narrow road, cleaning the main school site. A tall woman with very short, dark hair, dressed in cargo shorts and an old t shirt, seemed to be managing the project.

"Hey, Charlie." Jane called out to the busy woman in greeting.

Charlie turned around and her eyes landed on the smaller woman next to the brunette. Her eyebrow raised slightly in surprise, noticeable enough to Jane for her to know there was definite interest. "Jay! Feel free to come over and lend a hand!" She called out with a laugh.

"Oh yeah, like when you helped me unload yesterday?!" Jane joked back.

"Aww, c'mon! I had important shit to do!" The muscular woman defended but didn't continue the banter as she averted a massive block being dropped in the wrong area. "Whoa guys! Get that over there!" She turned back to Jane. "I'll come over later and meet your friend." She gave a little wave to Maura.

The doctor waved politely back.

"That's Charlotte Harris, ICRC Representative in the city. She's pretty tough and really passionate about her work. The Red Cross team live in the same house as us. There are only a few of them. Charlie's our neighbour on the left and shares a room with Nina."

Jane guided the doctor to the back entrance of the hospital and showed her inside.

"Good morning, Jane. It's bloody early for you to be up and about." Kent Drake greeted in his charming Scottish accent and looked at the newcomer, smiling brightly.

"Morning, Kent. This is Dr Maura Isles, our new Medical Coordinator."

The dark haired man smiled excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He stuck his hand out to shake Maura's with vigour. "How lovely! This is an exciting day indeed!"

"Nice to meet you, Dr Drake." She pulled her hand away from the tight grip with some amusement and stood back as Jane opened the supply room. She watched the Head of Mission motion for Kent to follow her in and stood in the doorway, staring shamelessly as the confident woman spoke.

"Kent, did you find the…"

Maura wasn't really paying attention to what was being said, too absorbed in the ambience surrounding her new boss. Jane had a commanding presence and an easy going authority about her. _There's no harm in looking._ She raked her eyes over the well-worn attire and sculpted body. _She definitely looks after herself. That's very attractive… Her olive complexion brings out her dark eyes and compliments her dark curls, like some kind of Greek goddess come to life._ Maura smirked at her poetic monologue. It wasn't quite T.S. Eliot, but she was enjoying her personal thoughts... Until the sound of frantic shouting in a few different languages broke her musing.

The golden haired woman spun around at the noises coming from outside, and quickly moved back to the rear entrance of the hospital. Jane and Kent rushed behind her, knowing that shouting in this city was usually never a good sign.

* * *

If you haven't read Atlas Shrugged, you are missing out on something amazing... Read it!


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

**CHAPTER 3: Aftermath**

_"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."  
_ \- Bertrand Russell

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

"Oh my god!" Charlie's hoarse yell could be heard from across the street. The tall woman quickly shut down the engine of the diesel powered, four wheel drive loader and jumped out of the seat to kneel over the pile of rubble she had been trying to clear. She frantically tried to move more of the large bricks away with her hands, scraping them on the course cement, as 2 sets of legs were revealed, buried underneath the debris. She coughed from inhaling a small amount of fine dust, the chalky smell invading her nostrils. "Jesus! There's— Somebody get a doctor!"

More shouts were heard as others came to the aid of the discovered bodies. Several more hands began lifting the heavy blocks, not hopeful at all that they were a part of a rescue but rather a recovery.

"We need some help!"

"Nahn bihajat 'iilana musaeada!" _(We need help!)_

"Akhrujhum min hunakan!" _(Get them out of there!)_

"Oh merde!" _(Oh shit!)_

"Lacie! Can you help me lift this?!" Charlie practically begged. Her dirty, bleeding hands had started cramping up and she watched with relief as several medical personnel came running out of the hospital.

"Oui, you lift that way and I will pull to your right!" The tall, French woman responded anxiously, wiping her dripping brow, smudging grey dirt across it. It contrasted heavily with her jet black hair. She lowered herself next to Charlie and tried to shift the large block that was resting across one of the bodies.

Having only just entered the front entrance of the hospital, Rosie heard the shouting first, and ducked, thinking another airstrike was about to occur. After a few seconds that felt like minutes, she uncovered her head feeling a bit foolish and tried to settle her pounding heart.

A short, dark haired, Syrian nurse grabbed her arm as she was passing and the pair left the hospital building with footsteps sounding behind them.

As Rosie got closer, her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth with worry and her hands trembled. "Oh no, Aya, this is horrible!" Rosie exclaimed and reached for the head nurse's clammy hand. Any sort of physical connection was comforting to her right now.

"It's war, Rosie." Aya responded sadly.

In a war zone, it was almost impossible to maintain a level of homeostasis. The autonomic nervous system functioned constantly to regulate the body's unconscious actions. The sympathetic nervous system's fight-or-flight response was triggered multiple times a day. An increase in heart rate, breathing accelerated at the release of adrenaline into the bloodstream, it was all a part of the living conditions.

Maura noted the familiar, reactionary response that started in the amygdala and ended in the prefrontal cortex, resulting in her adrenal glands producing the right amount of norepinephrine for the task ahead and an invigorating amount of endorphins released in her system. She reacted quickly, as did other staff members. However, she did not have the same fear-filled rush that her colleagues experienced. They received an added cortisol hit to create a rocket of anxiety within them.

For Maura, there was nothing to be anxious about... It was the thrill of the job.

She sped up almost effortlessly into a run at the shout for a doctor, Jane and Kent matching her pace from right behind. They kept a balanced focus on the location of their feet and ahead to where they were trying to reach, only 10 metres away. In that short distance they had to carefully dodge road holes that could easily dislocate or even break a bone if the placement was just right.

Reaching the gathered group of people, a fraction of a second after Aya and Rosie, the trio pushed through the circle of onlookers with urgency.

Jane's face paled as they uncovered the faces of the victims.

"Oh no, it's Sami and Amena!" Charlie almost cried as she recognised the faces of the husband and wife. The couple worked at the school and lived just two houses from it. How had they not realised they were missing? It had been over 48 hours since the bombing and they thought everyone had been accounted for. Knowing that she had missed two people that she considered her friends, was beyond upsetting to the tall woman.

"Oh god." Kent whispered, a hand to his mouth, the other reached for Charlie's shoulder in sympathy. The scene, not unlike many others he had witnessed, still shook him to his core.

The Scotsman's time serving with the British Army in Afghanistan as a medic had been horrific. When UK troops began to pull out just a few years ago, Kent had begun his experience with Doctors Without Borders. It had been as equally horrific and it never got easier.

Just like Barry, he was motivated and dedicated to help the vast amount of people in desperate need. How could he justify going home to his nice, upscale apartment in Edinburgh when there were people living amongst piles of rubble and dying every minute, every second in his world?

And it _was_ his. He felt responsible for the state it was in, as did the others who were here. Those that could choose at any moment to be somewhere else, but they didn't. They knew how to own their part in the destruction of the world. No, none of them contributed directly or intentionally to the displacement of millions of people, but they felt indebted to give their everything to helping them.

Kent watched as his new boss quickly put her hair into a loose braid with the elastic at her wrist, and at the same time her intelligent hazel eyes searched the dirt encrusted faces for any sign of life.

The unconscious man and woman were partially covered by debris across their torsos and ashen white with chunks of mud caked to their bodies. The cement dust from the clearing of the bomb site had settled on them and they must have been close to where something had exploded in the ground, leaving the deep, dark earth splattered all over them. The man, Sami, looked like he had been impaled in his side by a piece of thick wire that had once been part of holding the flooring of the building together.

"Stop!" Maura commanded and scrambled forward to stop the hands that reached for the bodies. "You need to stop." Lacie stopped abruptly, her light blue eyes widening at the firm tone in which she was being spoken to. She looked over at the smaller woman with the commanding presence and put aside her offence to follow her instruction. It wasn't really possible to oppose the blonde doctor because she took over the whole scene with expertise.

Lacie had to admit, the woman wasn't difficult to watch. She was gorgeous and knew exactly what she was doing. It was a wonder to see.

Maura waved off the Red Cross workers and locals attempting to continue to move the heavy stones and bodies from the mess. "You could make it worse." She explained as she crawled closer again. Without any hesitation, she reached for Amena's neck, placing her fingers against a carotid artery and felt for a pulse. She wasn't hopeful considering the temperature of the woman. She frowned with disappointment before removing her hand and pulled at the skin underneath the woman's eyes. Nothing. Lifeless.

The doctor reached for Sami and repeated her actions.

It seemed like the small crowd surrounding her held their breath in anticipation.

Her eyes opened a little as she shifted her fingers slightly. "There's a faint pulse!" She claimed and held her hand there for another 10 seconds. Her eyes checked her expensive watch as she counted his heart's rate. Removing her fingers, she looked him over, assessing the scene in front of her. Behind the purposeful look, Maura was calculating exactly what the next best steps to take would be. It only took her 3 seconds. "Dr Drake, set up an OR. Get some nursing staff ready."

Kent got up and ran across the road and inside to do as he was instructed, grateful that he wasn't the one in charge. Rosie and Aya followed closely behind, intending to help him to prepare.

Jane had been watching the scene unfold in wonder. It had probably only been minutes since the initial yelling had taken place but so much had happened in the short time. She crouched down and placed her hand between the doctor's shoulder blades, her subtle perfume invaded Jane's senses and somehow caused her to feel comforted in the midst of the tragedy. "What can I do, Maura?" She asked as she looked over the unconscious man, tears threatening to spill as she looked over her friend.

The doctor seemed to not hear or feel the brunette as she focussed on running her hands expertly over various parts of the man's torso. After a few seconds she turned her head to face Jane. She heard her… and felt her. How could she miss the strong hand burning its impression onto her back? The expressive brown captivated her attention. They were a mix of worry, fear, and something else she couldn't quite place. _Not now, Maura._ She didn't give Jane's beautiful eyes another thought as she responded calmly. "We need a stretcher and blankets or sheets."

Jane removed her hand from the slightly damp back with a quick pat and got up from her crouched position. She jumped over a few larger blocks in her way and ran back to the hospital to get what was needed. Charlie followed, knowing she would require help.

"Maura! I got a call. What's going on?" An Australian accent sounded right next to her.

Too engrossed in what she was doing, she failed to express much emotion at seeing her long time friend. Instead she addressed him in a professional manner but there was a hint of recognition in the hazel gaze. "The female appears deceased and the male has a very weak pulse. As soon as that rubble is removed from his chest, we need to move quickly. Jane is retrieving a stretcher."

Unfazed by her aloof communication, Ian nodded and mentally prepared for what was to come. He knew Maura and wouldn't allow her outwardly cold persona to deter him. She had always been this way at work and it was effective. He had learned to appreciate it.

"What's the damage?" He smirked at his own question and took a second to internally acknowledge Maura's beauty. _I didn't realise how much I missed her._ His heart fluttered a little at the unexpected feelings stirring up and pushed them back down to dissect later. He gave a chuckle at her predictable reaction to his question.

Maura rolled her eyes. He knew she didn't like to guess. She didn't respond because Jane and Charlie came rushing back.

"Maura! Where do you want this?" The women carried the stretcher over and laid it down according to the petite doctor's instructions as best they could. Charlie remained near the man's head and Jane bent herself next to the doctor again, their arms brushing and distracting them both for a nanosecond.

"Don't move him yet." Maura instructed and grasped Jane's wrist lightly when it moved to act. She explained herself to the brunette quickly. "He's probably bleeding internally. If I can, I'll keep the metal in until we get him into the operating theatre. As soon as that debris is gone, we need to move fast."

Ian watched with intrigue at his friend's need to clarify. Dr Maura Isles didn't justify herself to anyone and to see her do so, so freely with Jane, caused him to take notice. He definitely noticed the contact that Maura had initiated. That was a big surprise.

Everyone surrounding, including Ian, watched in awe as the doctor expertly got the man ready to transport. "Ian, can you lift him so I can check if the wire is attached to anything?"

"Of course." The tall doctor crouched down next to her and carefully moved Sami enough for Maura to check his back.

Her hands probed cautiously. When she pulled them back out, her fingers were red. "It's unattached." She informed the Australian and reached for a blanket to place underneath the curve of the man's lower back and the newly bleeding wound. Ian lowered Sami back down and she quickly stabilised the wire. "Ok, ready to move." She stood, not caring about the filth that now covered her knees or the blood on her fingers.

"I'll support his neck." Ian stated and held the dark head in his large hands. He watched, amazed at Maura's ability to think and act so quickly and resourcefully in the emergency situation.

"Jane, can you and Charlie please grasp each side of the blanket here?" Maura pointed to either side of the unconscious body and the two women moved quickly. "As soon as I count to 3, we need to remove the rocks and lift him, but try not to jar his body. Straight onto the stretcher and into the operating room. Ok?" She looked at her helpers expectantly.

"Yeah, we got this." Jane nodded, ready to act.

"We need some help bringing Amena in too. She shouldn't be left here." Lacie's strong French accent sounded right next to Charlie.

"Of course." Jane instructed a few hospital staff and Red Cross workers on what to do once they removed Sami.

A little annoyed at the interruption to her course of action, Maura crouched down and readied herself for taking the man into surgery. She didn't bother looking around, expecting the hospital staff to follow her instructions. "Ok, let's get this debris off as quickly as possible… 1, 2 , 3!"

Jane picked up on her impatience and was a little startled by her unemotional attitude, but there was suddenly a flurry of activity and she focussed on what was happening.

The stones were removed rapidly, Sami was lifted carefully onto the stretcher, and Maura, Ian, Jane, and Charlie cautiously carried it to the rear entrance of the hospital.

The wheels were lowered when they reached the smooth flooring and Jane steered the bed down the hallway, Maura and Ian running after it. Charlie trailing behind anxiously.

They were met by Kent, Rosie, and Aya, ready to help.

The Scottish man tried introducing the pair but it wasn't the right time. "Dr Isles, this is—"

"Dr Drake, once we're inside, remove the metal and get the bleeding under control. The nurses can help. I'll check his head and chest." Maura grabbed a stethoscope and wrapped it around her neck. "Ian, I'll need your help."

"Doc- doctor Isles?" Kent's stammering sounded right next to her and she looked at him in irritation.

"Yes?" Her tone was clipped and she continued into the operating room to prepare herself.

"I'm- an orthopaedic surgeon! I- I don't—"

"Dr Drake, you have the training to handle what I've requested." She stated as she threw on a scrub top and washed her arms thoroughly.

"But, but I—"

"Move, Dr Drake!" Maura sternly ordered without looking up from rinsing the suds covering her arms. Every eye in the room zeroed in on the smaller woman and then looked away quickly.

Ian stood next to her, washing up with a smirk on his face. _Oh buddy, don't fuck with her in the operating room, and don't show any sort of incompetence. She has no mercy for that._

Kent scrambled to do as he was commanded. His nerves took a backseat to fear of his new boss and not wanting to disappoint her. He put on a pair of latex gloves and a surgical mask, leaning over Sami and prodded carefully at the protruding wire. _Ok, Kent, you know how to do this. It's been a few years, but you can do this._ He went through the procedure in his head and waited patiently for the anaesthetist to arrive.

A little nervous about upsetting Maura, Jane moved to leave but was stopped by a hand on her arm. She looked at the calm and collected doctor. She wasn't sure how she hadn't noticed yet but she had the most stunning hazel eyes. They were full of excitement and confidence. She could tell that Maura thrived on this.

"Jane, can you please find me an operating kit, and get some gloves and scrub cap?!" Maura requested and continued on to speak with Ian. "Is the radiograph done?"

Ian stopped to observe again. _Since when does she use manners in an emergency situation?_ He answered before she became impatient. "Yes, you were right." He pointed to the chest scan. He had tied his cap and put his gown on, and started prepping several IVs. There was no way he was going to appear lax in front of Maura on her first day… Or any day.

"Anterolateral flail chest with segmental fractures near the costovertebral junction. Pulmonary contusion on the right. We'll need to do an aortogram after surgery if he makes it." Maura stated impassively and waved Jane over to her with the items she had requested. "Thank you."

"Where the heck is the anaesthetist?!" Kent was stressing out.

"Relax… We can anaesthetise him." Maura commented with annoyance and Ian prepared a syringe. "You should have an oxygen mask on him already! Nurse, can you start antibiotics? Ian, as soon as this takes effect, I'm going to perform an anterolateral thoracotomy. I'll need to relieve the pressure around his heart. He has a high risk of aortic haemorrhage… Jane, can you please tie the cap on my head?"

Jane had never been so involved and up close to a surgery before. The limited help in the room was obviously making Kent panic but Maura was focussed and knew exactly what she needed to do. What confused her though is why Maura was asking for her to help with things the nurses could be doing but then she realised that she and Ian were the only ones the doctor knew.

The brunette put the material over Maura's golden head, reminiscing how just under an hour ago she had been standing behind the blonde in this position, unzipping her dress. _Heaven help me!_ She held her breath to avoid the doctor's distracting scent and tied the cap tightly. She stood back as gloved hands reached up to settle the surgical mask into place. Maura's operating kit was opened quickly and she retrieved her preferred sized scalpel.

She leaned over the man's chest and counted. _Third, fourth, fifth intercostal._ She placed the scalpel slightly to the left and made an incision. _Apex, midclavicular line._ Maura continued her internal instruction and performed the surgery by the textbook, like she wasn't cutting into a human being that depended on it for survival.

"Blood pressure is dropping. He's tachycardic! Oxygen is low, Dr Isles." Kent exclaimed, slightly worried.

Jane's heart leapt in her throat as the room filled with beeping. The rest of her body, frozen in anticipation.

She watched in awe as Maura continued, unfazed, commanding the situation. The doctors and nurses assisting, followed her orders promptly as she helped them to get the man's vitals stable.

The blonde head bent back over the body and she continued her operation, unperturbed by the whole disruption.

Jane joined Charlie off to the side of the room and stared unmoving for the next 3 hours as the doctors literally saved the man's life.

"Fractured segments are bridged. It'd be nice if we had some plates here, huh?" Ian chuckled as he finished his part of the surgery.

"Is osteosynthesis not conducted here?" Maura asked without looking up. She was almost finished.

"Kinda." The Australian shrugged indifferently and stared at the focussed hazel eyes that took a second to roll at his comment. He laughed affectionately and kept staring at the blonde. "You look good, Maur."

The comment made her glance around the room and frown at him in warning.

Ian smirked and backed off from making any more comments.

They all breathed a sigh of relief once everything that could be done, was done, and Sami continued to breathe with ease. Time would tell more about his recovery.

"Well, that was relatively uncomplicated considering the circumstances." Maura stated as she finished tying the sutures closed on the man's chest.

Kent's eyes went wide at the comment. There was no way that was relatively easy in his mind.

"I can finish dressing his wounds, Dr Isles." Aya informed the doctor nervously.

Hazel eyes searched the woman's half-covered face and nodded, moving away from the body and pulling off her gloves and gown.

As the medical staff wrapped up the surgery, Jane and Charlie slipped outside and waited for the others to exit.

"That was fucking brilliant!" Charlie exclaimed, on a high from watching the doctors perform so efficiently and skilfully. "Did you see Dr Isles in there? When was the last time you had such a competent doctor under your supervision?!" The Red Cross representative had never been so close to the action inside the hospital. Sure, she had seen her fair share of the devastation here but it was rare that they got insight into the hopeful outcomes like what she had just witnessed.

Jane was in a daze. It really had been an incredible experience. She simply gave a laugh at the situation and shook her head at Charlie, unable to find words to express how she was feeling.

They made it a few metres down the hallway when Ian, Maura, and Kent exited the OR.

Ian's Australian accent sounded loudly in the quiet corridor as he addressed his friend and colleague with a beaming grin. "I gotta hand it to you, Maur, you really are the best!"

Kent, right behind the duo, nodded vigorously. "I'll say!"

Maura ignored them both and untied her hair, shaking it out in a move that shouldn't have been sexy at all after their recent event, but she had those present mesmerised for a moment. She roughly ran a hand through her golden locks and ruffled it to fall naturally to one side of her head, just wanting it free and out of her face.

Charlie recovered promptly and stuck her hand out to the smaller woman. "Dr Isles, I'm Charlie. ICRC Representative here in Aleppo." The tall woman gave her the most charming grin she could muster, her blue eyes twinkling. She was pretty sure she was already in love.

Professional mask still in place, Maura held her hand out and grasped it firmly. "Nice to meet you, Charlie." Her tired eyes communicated a kind interest but she wasn't capable of making small talk right at this time. She turned her attention to Jane and spoke softly. "Could you please take me to see the Chief of Medicine? I'd like to check in and report the operation while it's still fresh in my mind."

Jane almost jumped to attention, even at the gentle request. "Yeah, yeah, of course! His office is on the second level." The brunette noticed how tired the blonde was but she didn't want to oppose her request at this time. _I think she might be a cyborg. She just got off a 12 hour flight, spent 2 hours touring the house with me, and then another 4 hours in an intense emergency situation. Now she wants to go and talk with the Chief… She's either a cyborg or Wonder Woman._

"Excuse us, Charlie. I look forward to chatting more another day." Maura stated and turned to the other two doctors. "Dr Drake, Dr Faulkner, thank you for your assistance today." She smiled politely once more at the three of them before beginning down the hallway to the stairs. Jane waved at them and caught up to Maura, walking side -by-side quietly to the Chief of Medicine's office.

"Bye Dr Isles." The short-haired woman responded and watched the doctor as she walked away, unable to keep her eyes off the firm backside encased in tight khaki.

"You wont get into her pants." Ian declared as he sidled up next to Charlie with mirth twinkling in his light brown eyes.

She raised an eyebrow at him sceptically. "Why, because you want to?"

He scoffed at her.

"Challenge accepted." The tall woman crossed her muscular arms over her chest and smirked at him.

The Australian shook his head and raised his hands as if surrendering. "No, no, Charlie. I wasn't challenging. It was more of a 'don't waste your time' warning."

Charlie contemplated his words. "Why? Coz she's straight?"

He simply rolled his eyes at her and turned back to meet up with Kent to check up on their other patients.

"Alright. I'll take that into consideration." The Red Cross representative mumbled to herself before leaving.

* * *

Jane knocked on the door and heard a quiet 'come in'. She smiled as she opened the door and the short, balding, Syrian man stood, grinning happily. "Jane! Come in, come in." His eyes landed on Maura and his grin broadened.

Jane turned to the smaller woman and almost placed her hand on her back again. She used it to move one of the visitor's chairs back slightly and leaned on it while making introductions. "Dr Abu Wassim please meet our new Medical Coordinator and trauma surgeon, Dr Maura Isles."

"Dr Wassim, it's a pleasure to meet you." They shook hands and Maura continued with enthusiasm. "I read the research paper you wrote with the American University of Beirut on the treatment of diabetes mellitus in the Middle East. The statistics for Syria were astounding."

Dr Wassim gave Jane an impressed look and sat down, motioning for the women to sit too.

Jane and Maura settled themselves quickly. The brunette felt a little out of place, not having known that the Chief of Medicine had published anything noteworthy. She sat upright, not feeling comfortable enough in front of Maura to slump in her chair in a relaxed state as she usually would when speaking with Abu. She had spent many hours in this office, venting her frustrations to the understanding and compassionate man. They had formed an odd bond and cared greatly for one another.

"Please call me Abu, Dr Isles. I am grateful you have read some of my work. I am very passionate about the health needs of the Syrian people but I feel the government is not providing us with what we need."

Maura relaxed into a conversation that was well within her comfort zone. "What do you believe is the greatest need?" She crossed one leg over the other, her booted foot coming in contact with Jane's knee. "Sorry." She whispered to the taller woman and got a slight, amused, raising of a lip in response. Jane didn't mind at all.

Maura focussed back on Dr Wassim as he gave her a well thought out answer.

"Besides the obvious immediate trauma cases from air raids, we need help with immunisations and noncommunicable diseases, and also obstetrics. Women will always continue to have babies, even in the midst of war, and children are dying from sicknesses that can be prevented. The problem is getting the medication."

Jane could contribute to this part of the conversation. "We had a load of meds come in yesterday afternoon. Insulin among them."

"Oh, this is great news! Why didn't you tell me?" Abu chuckled, not upset at all with the brunette. He knew how busy she got and that she would have told him as soon as possible.

It reminded Jane about why she had brought Maura to him in the first place. "Actually, I was on my way in this morning to show Kent and tell you about it but we found another couple under the rubble at the school."

Abu's eyes widened. "Ya alqarf!" He realised that neither of them spoke Arabic. "Um, I said shit. Sorry, Dr Isles." He apologised for his slip.

"It's nothing I haven't heard before, Dr Wassim." Maura offered with understanding.

"No, please, it's just Abu. May I call you Maura?"

"If that puts you at ease, then sure." Maura submitted to his authoritative position, obviously uncomfortable with the informality but unwilling to object.

The older doctor smiled in victory but Jane observed the blonde's body language. She wasn't happy about it. Maura had a warmth about her but her tone was still clipped and professional. _Too many years on the field perhaps? Or maybe she's just not used to interacting with many people? She's certainly passionate about architecture and literature_ _and she's damn good at her job_ _. I just need to get her to talk more about stuff she likes._ She got lost in her thoughts about her new roommate again, not hearing her name spoken until the third time.

"Jane?" Maura's hand reached over and rubbed her knee briefly.

"Oh, sorry! Long day already." The brunette snapped back to attention, trying to recall what they had been talking about. She looked at her watch. It was only 1:30pm.

"Jane, you were telling me something about the bodies found this morning." Abu prompted and Jane couldn't believe she had zoned out on that conversation.

"Shit, yes. Um, Amena and Sami." She stated sadly.

"Oh dear. I suppose the outcome was not good?"

Jane cleared her throat to hide the emotion she felt. "Uh, Amena didn't make it but um, Dr Is— Maura handled the situation and performed emergency surgery. Sami's stable but she can fill you in on the details. I just wanted you to know that's where we just came from."

The Chief of Medicine was beyond elated at the news. MSF had competent doctors but there weren't enough present and only one of them were confident enough for trauma responses. "Wow, Maura. You certainly know how to make an impression! We are very happy to have you. You can tell me about it tomorrow. Please go home and rest. You must be exhausted."

"Thank you. I will, if Jane doesn't mind escorting me?" The honey blonde turned to the tall woman, hoping that she didn't have to stay any longer. The doctor's eyes were bordering on bloodshot and would close involuntarily if she didn't sleep soon.

Jane thought she still looked beyond lovely. "Of course." She stood and shook the Chief's hand. "See ya, Abu."

Maura did the same. "See you tomorrow, Dr Wassim— Abu." She smiled sheepishly. It would take some time to adjust to informalities within the hospital but she knew she would adapt soon enough.

"Goodbye ladies." The Syrian man smiled broadly and watched the pair retreat, feeling more hopeful for their patients and district residents than he had in a long time.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Leave a review if you feel like sending some encouragement! I love hearing from you all :)


	4. Chapter 4

FYI: This chapter continues right after the last one...

* * *

**CHAPTER 4:** **Rafaqa**

_"_ _It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;  
_ _What is essential is invisible to the eye."_  
\- Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Jane followed Maura out of Abu's comfortable and well-decorated office and into the disinfectant smelling hallway. She gave the man one more little half smile as she closed the door behind them. As the tall woman turned around she almost crashed into the smaller body that had stopped to await her directions.

"Oh shit!" The brunette's hands automatically grasped the doctor's toned biceps and triceps and she looked down at her sheepishly. "Sorry, I uh—" _Let go of her silky skin, you moron!_ She let go, missing the connection immediately and stepped back, looking flushed. "I wasn't watchin' where I was goin'." In her nervousness, Jane's Boston Italian accent became more prominent, and she fidgeted. Her fingers trailed through her ponytail and she shoved her hands into her pockets to stop herself from reaching out again.

Maura's lips quirked slightly in amusement, Jane's sheepish look highly endearing to her. "No need to apologise, I didn't give you much room to exit." The blonde head turned to inspect one end of the hallway and then looked in the opposite direction. "I can't quite remember which direction we came from." She sounded exasperated. Hardly ever did she become so disoriented that she didn't know her location but her fatigue had caught up to her and the best way she could describe her brain activity right now was 'fuzzy'.

Jane gave her an easy smile, understanding how exhausted she must be. She removed her hands from her jean pockets and placed one gently on Maura's shoulder. "Ah, yeah, I can still get a bit spun around in here. It's a weird layout." She turned to the right and put the slightest bit of pressure on the smaller woman's back, guiding her in the right direction. "We came from this way." As she started to move, Jane dropped her hand away again. _I've known her for all of about 8 hours and I'm already addicted— No, addicted is such a strong word. Enamoured. Yes, that was perfect. I'm enamoured by her. How exactly? I have no idea… Enamoured by her quirkiness? Her scent? Her walk? Her skin?_ She blushed as she remembered how much of the doctor's skin she had already seen and tried to blink away the images that flashed through her mind. She was enamoured alright. Enamoured and beyond attracted.

There was silence between them as Jane led Maura down the empty hallway and the flight of stairs they had ascended earlier. She heard the almost imperceptible sigh the doctor gave as she finally recognised the section of the hospital she was familiar with.

Even the sigh was endearing to Jane. _Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with me? Her sigh is cute now too? Ok, Jane, you need sleep. That's all it is. Just sleep deprivation. I bet Maura could tell me all about that._ She internally groaned as her thoughts came full circle back to being about the gorgeous blonde she was walking beside. _If she wasn't so damn attractive, I'm not sure I would even like her… Nah, that's not true._ She glanced to her side and observed the doctor for a moment before looking back down the shiny hallway.

Jane had already established that Maura was stunning. Possibly the most beautiful woman she had ever met, but there was something else about her… Something that her eye couldn't see. Something that all of her instincts screamed out to her about… That this woman was beyond incredible and she couldn't even articulate why yet. It wasn't even because of how amazing Maura looked on paper. She couldn't place her finger on it but she knew that Doctor Isles was someone you had to make sure to look past the cold exterior of to see who she really was. _I really can't wait to get to know her better._ The thought left a small, unconscious smile on her face.

Maura, on the other hand, was just trying to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, thinking about how good her bed was going to feel when she finally got to lay down. She didn't pay much attention to the brunette and expecting to continue to the back entrance, was stopped by the warm hand at her elbow.

"Um, do you mind if we just swing by the main entrance? I gotta get something from the front reception. It's just through here." Jane hadn't let go of the doctor's elbow as she steered them left and through the double doors to the waiting room and front counter.

"Oh, of course." She uncharacteristically allowed herself to be physically guided by Jane, their booted feet echoing on the hospital's linoleum floors, and into the reception area where there was a bit more activity and noise.

Jane's hand slipped down from Maura's elbow and she approached the desk that Rosie was now seated behind. The doctor stood off to the side waiting and recovering from the shiver Jane's hand induced. She really did not want to talk with anyone else today. She casually folded her arms and observed everything in the room, including her new boss.

Maura scanned the room with a clinical eye.

They were obviously in the waiting room for the small hospital. A few women were present, one with a child, and a man holding his wrist. Nothing serious. The blonde doctor felt relieved that she wouldn't be required again, at least within the next few hours, unless something catastrophic happened. Ian and Kent were still available and the nurses that had helped in the OR seemed competent enough.

Her attention naturally drifted to Rosie whom she remembered meeting earlier that morning at the house. The young English nurse had been responsive and very professional in the OR, and Maura was pleased that she had worked well with the other nurse and herself. She recalled a comment about the pretty, light-haired woman having a bit of a crush on Ian and Maura smiled at the pairing. She would ask him about the young woman later. Rosie was certainly his type.

She briefly frowned when she remembered how incompetent Kent Drake had been until she had a stern word with him. Her thought didn't linger for long.

Maura's mind wandered to the others that had been present during the operation. _I'm almost certain that Charlie has a sexual interest in me. She's certainly attractive enough but that's never going to happen._ Her thoughts turned to Jane and she tried to stop a smirk from forming. _I'm 100% confident that I have a sexual interest in Jane but that's not going to happen either._ Not quite convincing herself out of her attraction but adamant about sticking to her number 1 rule, she ran her curious eyes over the back of the tall woman's form. The Head of Mission was casually leaning forward on the counter, arms braced on the edge, speaking with Rosie. Jane was smiling and seeming carefree even after the morning she had experienced. Her dark green t-shirt had ridden up a little and exposed her jean-clad backside and the way she was standing gave Maura a good idea of how in shape she was.

"That was something else in that OR huh, Jane?" Rosie smiled excitedly at her boss and passed her a folder with the current surgery waiting list.

The brunette controlled her facial muscles, not wanting to appear too zealous about their new doctor and gave a nod at the statement. "Yeah, it was pretty intense. I mean, I have no idea about the medical side of it all, but it was amazing to witness."

The English nurse shook her head and gave Jane a wondrous look. "I've never seen anyone survive chest trauma like that after a bomb blast. Mind you, Dr Shriver was an arse and probably would have made some feeble attempt and failed. We've seen it so many times."

Jane's hands clenched the edge of the counter and her brow furrowed. "Really? I woulda pushed to get rid of him sooner if I had known. We should report him."

"It's really not worth it. He's a good doctor but not a very good trauma surgeon. He just didn't have that drive. Besides, he was better than nothing." The English woman lowered her voice and cast a quick glance at the blonde just a few metres away. Her head leaned towards Jane's and the taller woman leaned in to hear what was obviously not meant to be overheard, a curious look on her face. "Dr Isles is, um, a little detached and impersonal but she is also brilliant. Not even in my years of training have I seen a doctor so gifted. Jane, please do whatever you can to keep her here!"

Jane chuckled. She had gathered that the new Medical Coordinator was more than competent in the emergency situation. She didn't think she was going to forget how calm and professional the doctor had been in that operating room. Her eyes glanced across to Maura. _God, even after travelling across the world and responding to an emergency almost right away, and being awake for probably over 24 hours, she still looks incredible._ Jane looked over Maura's filthy clothing and fresh scratches on the dark brown boots. Her eyes raised to meet hazel and her lips curled automatically in a friendly grin. She couldn't believe the woman was still standing. She lifted her index finger to signal she would be just one more moment and mouthed a quick 'sorry'. She turned to face Rosie again.

"I'll do my best to convince her to stay but I think she might already be determined to do that." She gave the woman a charming smile.

Rosie smiled back warmly and handed her a folder. "Here are the schedules for next week. There's a copy in there for Dr Isles as well."

"Thanks, Rosie. I'm going to take our brilliant new doctor home to bed." She claimed casually and then grimaced at the nurse's raised eyebrow and smirk. _Oh, that was worded badly._

"That's very forward of you." Rosie teased, knowing that Jane hadn't meant it at all how it sounded. She honestly had no idea what Jane's interests were anyway. She had never displayed any attraction toward anyone or spoken about past relationships before.

The brunette rolled her eyes. "We're rooming together and the poor thing is exhausted."

"Go, take her to bed." Rosie winked at her boss. Her eyes widened as the Head nurse came up from behind Jane.

"Who are you sleeping with?!" Aya exclaimed in shock. In the 2 years she had known the MSF worker she had never known her to have dated anyone.

Jane groaned and blushed. This wouldn't be the last she heard about this. She turned to clarify as Rosie laughed at her predicament. "No one, Aya. I'm taking Dr Isles back home so she can sleep."

The Syrian woman chuckled at the misunderstanding, her dark brown eyes twinkling in amusement. "Of course. Don't let us keep you from your doctor." She teased.

Jane's face scrunched up as if in pain. "Oh my god. You two are evil." She rolled her eyes at their laughter and left her position at the desk, folder tucked under her arm. She crossed the short distance to Maura, placing her hand on the side of her upper arm to gain her attention. "Hey."

The pretty hazel eyes glanced at the hand on her arm and then up to search gentle brown. "Oh, sorry. I think I lost myself to my surroundings." She blinked a few times to refocus.

"I don't blame you. C'mon, let's get you home." Jane's hand moved away slowly, her fingers trailing over the soft skin again as her arm dropped back to her side. She grinned at the grateful smile she received and headed towards the main doors, Maura following a half step behind.

The pair walked back to the house in silence and almost made it up to the front door when Maura suddenly tripped on the last step, having misjudged the distance she needed to lift her foot to avoid clipping the tile of the uneven stair. If not for her tiny yelp, Jane wouldn't have spun around and automatically reach her arms out to catch the falling woman.

Strong hands landed on the doctor's hips, grasping them firmly. Their bodies but an inch apart. "Whoa, you ok, Maur?" Jane searched the tired hazel so close to her own. She could make out the tiny red capillaries that were dilated enough to make the beautiful eyes appear bloodshot. The green in them standing out vividly because of the red polluting the white from tiredness. "Your eyes are pretty— red, um, they're red— uh, you're tired." She fumbled through her words, feeling like a hormonal, socially awkward teenager.

Like a computer, Maura responded neutrally, her brain's limbic system activating to retrieve the information necessary to respond. "Asthenopia; ocular fatigue. The ciliary muscle tightens trying in vain to focus— It's from the lack of oxygen to the sclera… I- I think I need to sleep." The smaller woman smiled sheepishly, somewhat embarrassed at her unusual lack of coordination and her unappealing ramble about the physiology of the tired eye.

Jane smiled back softly, completely endeared by the mini-lecture, not letting go of the smaller woman just yet. "Uh, yeah, I think you do too." She stared for another few seconds before realising they were both standing very close to each other and cleared her throat. "Um, c'mon, let's- get you to bed." She cringed at her words that caused the teasing just 10 minutes ago at the hospital. "Sorry, I mean— Never mind." The brunette grumbled softly, her hands falling back to her sides. She clenched them, missing the way they felt on the smaller woman

Maura stepped forward, feeling a little dizzy, and grasped a strong bicep. She leaned slightly into Jane, unaware of the effect she had on the taller woman, and they entered the front of the house for the second time that day. Their footsteps sounded heavy on the ceramic tiled flooring outside their room.

Letting go of the brunette so she could retrieve her key, Maura took a moment to appreciate the beautiful courtyard again before she heard the click of the lock to their room disengaging.

The smell of the doctor had already permeated the room. Jane discretely inhaled the subtle tropical scent, laced with a hint of gardenia, as she opened the doors and stepped back to allow Maura into the room. As she passed, Jane got a stronger smell of the distinctive fragrance. The doctor sighed in relief at the sight of the welcoming bed and interrupted Jane's olfactory pondering.

"I think I need a shower." The blonde slipped her boots off and pulled at the oversized socks.

"Oh, here, I'll take those." Jane held her hand out to receive them back and Maura looked at her strangely, almost disturbed by the request.

"No, Jane. I've been wearing them. They're filthy!" Her nose scrunched up in distaste and she placed them beside her on the bed.

Jane chuckled and reached for the socks. "I have 2 younger brothers, Maur. Trust me, your dirty laundry doesn't bother me in the slightest." She snatched them up before the doctor could protest again and threw them into the small basket at the foot of her bed.

"Alright. Suit yourself." Maura shook her head in disbelief and stood to unzip her pants. She shimmied slightly so that the light khaki material fell to her ankles and she stepped gracefully out of them.

Not wanting to be caught staring at the perfect body again, Jane busied herself retrieving a towel for Maura from the tiny bathroom. She averted her eyes as she exited but not before getting an eyeful of the lace covered chest. _Oh my god, how am I gonna survive the next 12 months of being her roommate and not ogle her all of the time?_ She threw the towel on the doctor's bed, keeping her eyes to the ground and flopped on top of her blanket, landing on her stomach.

A little shocked at the abruptness of the towel being thrown in her direction, Maura thanked the Head of Mission politely, assuming that Jane was simply tired, and stepped into their little nook of a washroom.

10 minutes later, Maura emerged wearing the towel. She quickly dried herself and put on her dark green, soft cotton nightie, and began towel drying her hair. Jane looked up from her book and noticed how bright, refreshed, and lovely the honey blonde appeared. She scoffed inaudibly to herself. _Even just out of the shower, no makeup, and in her pyjamas, she's ridiculously gorgeous._ "Uh, how was your shower?" She knew how good it felt to get under the lukewarm spray after travelling for a long time and digging through the horrors just outside of their home.

"Magnificent." Maura smiled and Jane's heart leapt at the dimples that made themselves known, her own responded back, delighted to see the doctor so happy after their hectic morning.

The brunette closed her book and rolled onto her side, facing the doctor's bed. "Do you want something to eat?"

Jane was definitely not what Maura had expected in a boss. So far, the tall woman had been accommodating, chivalrous, and so kind. It unnerved her. She smiled gratefully at the relaxed woman and shook her head, too tired to consider eating. "No, thank you. I think I just need to rest." She hung her towel on the end of her bed, brushed her hair quickly, and gracefully laid down, her darkened blonde locks splaying out on the pillow. Shuffling to get comfortable, Maura ended up on her side facing her roommate.

Dark eyes were still watching her intently. "Thanks for everything you did today." Jane rasped softly in a whisper, her voice more husky and deeper due to her relaxed state.

The doctor's face expressed her surprise. Usually, more than capable to conceal her reactions, Maura felt herself flush at her own response and then let her face go blank, emotionless. "Oh, I was just doing my job."

She saw the confusion on Jane's face. The Italian woman was very expressive and easy to read when feeling something intensely. The tall woman leaned up on her elbow, determined to get her point across. "You did it brilliantly, Maura. We haven't had anyone save someone from that kind of trauma before. You uh, made it look easy. We're very lucky you're here."

Maura gave a little huff that Jane had no idea how to read. "As I said, I was just doing my job." She stated flatly, uncomfortable with the praise coming from the brunette's lips.

"Well, I'm sure Sami will be grateful if he pulls through." The thought of her friend not making it caused a melancholy shift in the atmosphere of the room and Jane closed her eyes, laying back down, wondering who would tell him about his wife.

"Unless he gains a serious infection, I'm hopeful that he will regain consciousness soon." Maura tried to assure her with her medical opinion but thought she should probably add a condolence regarding the man's wife. "I'm very sorry I couldn't do anything for the woman." She offered, not sad but attempting to empathise with her roommate.

It wasn't the first time Jane noted the clinical detachment. She knew there was more to Maura than met the eye. She appreciated the sentiment expressed regardless of whether it was heartfelt or not.

"Yeah, it's such a shame… They're a wonderful couple." Jane realised her wording wasn't correct and frowned as though in some sort of pain. Her throat constricted as she became more emotional. "Uh, I mean, they _were_ a wonderful couple. Jesus, he's gonna be devastated when he wakes up." She rubbed her face with her hand and fought tears. "I need some sleep too, I think."

The appearance of Jane's watery eyes stirred something in Maura. _Why am I having such a visceral reaction to her emotion?_ The doctor was quite confounded by the compassion she was feeling. For one of the very few times in her life, she followed instinct over deliberation and cautious thought, and shuffled herself to the very edge of her bed. Her arm reached out for Jane. The tiny space between the beds making her action possible.

Completely thrown at the smaller woman's shift in reaction, Jane pushed her confusion aside and mimicked Maura, receiving the comforting offering. She sighed when a soft thumb caressed the back of her tanned hand. "I really am sorry, Jane. It's hard to lose people you care about, especially in such unjust circumstances like this." Just as quickly as it had been offered, Maura's hand slipped away, tucking itself comfortably under her pillow again.

Jane's top lip curled in a tiny smile of acknowledgment and her long arm dropped so that her fingers scraped the ground below. She fingered the rough carpet and watched her hand in a trance and sighed. "Yeah, I think the hardest part is knowing how in love they were and now they don't have each other." _Shit, why not just bare your soul while you're at it, Jane? She's gonna think you're some kind of mushy, romantic idiot._ Her hand lifted to slide under her cheek and she looked back across at the stunning woman facing her, their positions on their respective beds mirrored.

"Love can be a beautiful thing." Maura commented with a hint of nostalgia in her voice but remained expressionless.

"You sound like you understand."

"You don't?" Was countered, a perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised with curiosity.

This was a part of the doctor Jane was sure no one got to see. She wasn't even really seeing it, just hearing the story behind the tone. She pondered the question and came up with nothing.

"I don't really understand. I don't think I've ever been in love."

"Lucky you." Maura scoffed as if to dismiss the conversation.

Jane frowned at the statement that spoke volumes to her. _Who hurt you, Maura? If I had you, I don't think I would ever let you go._ Before the brunette could think about it any further, the doctor rolled onto her back, hand lifted up to cover her mouth to contain a yawn.

"Mm, I really wanted to try and push through until later but I think I need to sleep. I'll probably be up all night. I apologise in advance."

Jane chuckled. "It's to be expected. Rest, Maura. You had a hectic morning."

Already dozing off, the blonde's mumbled reply brought a smile to the tall woman's face. "K. Thanks, Jane."

* * *

Jane woke to the almost non-existent sounds in the room, her roommate trying her best to be as quiet as possible as she got up and dressed for the day.

She rolled from her back onto her side and picked up her phone to check the time. 5:04am. _Oh wow, I slept the whole night through. I wonder how long Maura's been awake for?_ She placed the phone back down and glanced over to the doctor who had just sat on the edge of her bed to tie her runners. She looked over the lithe, creamy legs; runners legs, that appeared quite long coming from the tiny black shorts being worn. Jane's eyes travelled further up the compact body. The tight crop top covered the doctor's breasts tastefully but it was still too revealing to wear out.

Maura stood up and began stretching, her back to her roommate's bed.

Jane admired the display for a moment before she realised what the doctor intended.

 _She better not be thinking of going outside without someone._ Jane was angry all of a sudden. The thought of the smaller woman taking off to go for a run in the inappropriate clothing made her irrationally furious. She had specifically told her that they weren't to go anywhere on their own. It was the only rule that Jane really enforced with everyone.

Maura turned and her eyes widened when she noticed dark brown staring at her. "Oh, Jane. I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't wake you?"

Jane sat up and swung her legs over the edge, clearly annoyed, but not for the reason Maura suspected. "It's fine, Maura. Where are you goin'?" She pointed to the athletic attire and waited for a response.

Maura's heart was beating quite fast and she internally questioned her anxious response to Jane's upset. "I w-was just going to the courtyard to practice Yoga." Before Jane's surprise could register, the doctor was rapidly expectorating her words, dismayed at having offended her roommate already. "I'm so sorry to have woken you, Jane. If there's a particular time that you would prefer I stay in bed til, I can arrange that. It's just that I fell asleep yesterday afternoon and didn't wake until an hour ago but I couldn't lay still any lo—"

Jane chuckled at the nervous rambling once she understood that Maura wasn't planning on leaving at all. "Hey, it's fine… I'm— sorry I seemed pissed. I thought you were going for a run or something." She practically mumbled the last part out, embarrassed at having made the assumption.

"Oh, no. I do love to run but I need to find a partner for that. I wouldn't disobey the rules, Jane." Maura smiled with relief evident on her face.

Jane thought the blonde was adorable. _There's that word again. She really is adorable._ She blinked away the cheesy sentiment and shook her head. "Yeah, uh, I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. Um, I like running too. Maybe we can do that a few days a week?" She ran a hand through her messed up curls and stood.

Maura's gaze ran the length of Jane's long body quickly and she closed her eyes and turned towards the door. "Um, yes, I'd love that." She opened the left side as instructed yesterday and looked over her shoulder to the woman making the bed. "If you would like to join me, I'll be just outside."

The charming smile that crossed Jane's face had Maura trying to recall if she had seen anything so gorgeous. She missed what the brunette had said.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Jane's brow furrowed curiously for a second and returned to normal, amusement in her dark eyes. "Uh, I said maybe another day. I'm going to shower. We have our weekly general meeting at 8:30 but uh, did you want to grab some breakfast with me before that? I have some oats and fruit in the kitchen." She was almost shy in her request.

The doctor gave the tall woman a kind smile and nodded. "Sounds great." She exited their room quietly, closing the door behind her with a soft click. Her body rested against it for a moment, trying to rid itself of the image of Jane in only a white tank and matching cotton briefs. _Stunning._ Was all Maura could think to herself. _Absolutely stunning… Heaven help me._

* * *

Jane led the doctor into the kitchen and they sat at the end of the room beside a wooden window frame with darkened glass. The view onto the street slightly obstructed by a large utility pole at the front of the house. The brunette handed Maura 2 bowls and spoons, and retrieved the food items from the fridge. She placed them down on the table and the pair methodically went about making their breakfast as though they had been doing it together for years. They smiled easily at one another and began eating. Their breakfast was quiet, both preoccupied with thoughts about the day ahead but still semi-aware of the person across the table.

Maura was anxious about meeting the team and the social aspects of starting somewhere new, and Jane was going over the agenda in her head, knowing that she had to introduce their new Medical Coordinator to everyone and discuss Abu's recent requests for the hospital.

To top it off, Casey Jones would be attending regarding security matters and would be meeting with herself and Frankie afterward. It made Jane feel sick to her stomach. She hadn't seen him in 6 months even though he was only based an hour away in the village of al-Asaliyah.

They had hit it off as friends as soon as he had arrived 12 months prior and he had stated his interest in her a few months after that. Jane expressed that she wasn't looking for a relationship but he hadn't really taken her 'not interested' seriously and she had been too naive to stop hanging out with him, believing that he understood how she felt.

He didn't get Jane's muddy coloured message. Casey had continued to flirt and out of some lapse in judgement, she had mildly flirted back.

After a heavy make-out session that she hadn't really wanted but had succumbed to because it had simply been a long time since she had been physically intimate with anyone, she finally put her metaphorical foot down and ended things with absolute finality. Unfortunately, this had included their friendship. He had been hurt and she couldn't blame him, but they hadn't seen each other in 6 months, so hopefully he was over it. Jane really had no idea and didn't want to find out.

"Jane? Are you alright?" Maura's soft voice greeted her ears and broke her away from the self-torturing inner monologue.

"Uh, sorry Maur. I zoned out." Jane scoffed at herself and finished her last mouthful of cereal. She silently wished that she had Pop Tarts instead of the healthy breakfast and looked across to Maura then back down into her bowl. Lingering thoughts of Casey dulling her ability to enjoy the moment with her breakfast companion.

"It's fine. I just asked if there was anything I needed to know before our meeting? I'm going to have a shower and get ready." The doctor was already standing and cleaning up after herself before Jane had a chance to look up from her bowl again.

"I don't think so. You remember the stuff Abu mentioned yesterday? What he wants for the hospital?" Jane watched the smaller woman stand at the sink to clean her bowl and utensils, then dry and put them away. She admired the ease in which she moved around a space she was completely unfamiliar with. It was the confidence she had seen yesterday.

"Yes, I remember." Maura smiled politely as she stood before the brunette, waiting to hear what else she had to stay. Her hip leaned against the counter and she folded her arms. The mannerly but clinical tone was back.

"Abu's gonna talk about it a bit, so your professional opinion and strategy for how we're gonna do that is something you'll need to think about for the future but not necessarily today."

"Ok. I can do that." She pushed away from the bench as Jane approached and held her hand out for Jane's bowl and cutlery.

The dark haired woman waved her off and hip bumped her as she passed. "You're not doin' my dishes, woman. Go and shower!" She gave a gentle shove to the petite woman's upper arm.

Dumbfounded at the overly friend-like action, Maura couldn't help but chuckle at how at ease the older woman made her feel.

The sound of the doctor's little laugh stunned Jane. Once again, Maura had gone from detached and businesslike to jovial and relaxed. "Fine." The blonde threw her hands up in surrender as she walked to the doorway. "But, I'm doing the laundry next!" She called out as she exited the kitchen with one last glance behind her.

"I don't think so, doctor!" Jane called back. More melodic laughter was the only response in return. She shook her head in amusement and wonder. Her mother always said that she had to get the last word in. If it resulted in hearing the divine sound of Maura's merriment, she would strive to always get the last word in.

* * *

Rafaqa = Fellowship, companionship.

* * *

Not even 24 hours into the story and CH 4 is done! Hope you're all hanging in there.

Please leave a review if you enjoyed reading this chapter. Feedback is my favourite :D


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

**CHAPTER 5** : Battle of wills: Part I

 _"_ _The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting."  
_ \- Sun Tzu

* * *

_MSF/ICRC Residence, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Petite fingers pulled at lycra as sleepiness was fought off and a deep breath in helped give Maura enough oxygen to complete her task. Movement in the bed right next to hers had her shooting a quick glance to the messy pile of sheet and tangle of limbs. A hand dragged through a mass of dark curly hair slowly. Maura's glance turned into a stare.

A low groan sounded and a few seconds later, tanned long legs swung slowly sideways as Jane sat up on the edge of the bed, blinking away the haziness of only having slept for 4 hours. She unconsciously ran her hand through her out of control curls again and Maura bit her bottom lip at the sexy move.

Both women looked at each other briefly, sharing a small, almost shy, smile before the doctor bent over to finish lacing her shoes.

Jane wasn't quite as quick to become functional like Maura in the mornings and she sat there inconspicuously watching the smaller woman under the guise of still gathering her wits.

It was another of countless discreet observations. She had watched the doctor throughout the past week like a pathetic teenager with their first crush. _Have a I really only known her a week?_ Another smile slipped onto Jane's face.

So far the Medical Coordinator had handled herself perfectly.

Perfectly… medically speaking. Maura had been run off her feet, working day and night to attend to the needs of patients. Some serious, some not as serious. The honey blonde had performed astoundingly in the OR, and all of the staff were in awe of her already, but socially…

Jane gave a soft sigh. She was pretty sure that Ian and herself were the only ones with the insight that the doctor was actually human.

At her first meeting last week, Maura had stayed silent and had taken notes as though she was going to sit an exam for it. Jane thought it was adorable. The smaller woman was a sponge. She learned at every opportunity she could get but yet she struggled to exude a natural warmth that seemed so easy for her with Jane and Ian.

After Jane's formal announcement of their new Medical Coordinator she became too preoccupied with thoughts about her security meeting that was to follow, and didn't really notice that no one introduced themselves to the doctor and she didn't introduce herself either.

That was a whole week ago and Jane didn't think that anything had improved for Maura.

As she sat there pondering the social interactions of her roommate, she missed acknowledging the hand on her shoulder and only realised it had been there once it moved away. She looked up into concerned hazel and frowned.

"Jane, are you alright?"

"Oh… Uh yeah, sorry Maur. Um, I zoned out for a moment." The brunette chuckled and winked at a now smiling Maura before standing in order to stretch her lanky body.

Unprepared for the movement, the smaller woman almost fell backwards when Jane stood upright in front of her and suddenly they were almost flush against each other, Jane's hands reaching out to steady the blonde by her bare upper arms. Heat fused both of their cheeks as they became painfully aware of their proximity and the feel of Jane's warm hands on Maura's silky smooth skin.

Maura's eyes fought to settle on the tanned cleavage that peaked out of the tank Jane had worn to bed. Instead they landed on an elegant neck. That wasn't much better. _Why does she have to be so darn beautiful?_ Her eyes continued to appreciate Jane's clavicle bones defined more prominently by the dip of her suprasternal notch. _I could spend all day running my hands over and naming every part of her gorgeous body._ Maura took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, silently shaking away those thoughts that creeped through her subconscious.

Everything dissipated when Jane awkwardly patted the doctor's arms and stepped sideways to retrieve her clothing. The Head of Mission was hyper-aware of her attraction to Maura. It made her do and say stupid things regularly. _Just like an awkward teenager with their first crush._ She repeated to herself in a degrading chastisement. It was the best analogy she had for her own clumsy exchanges with the pretty blonde.

Jane grabbed a t-shirt out of her draw, put on some running shorts, and sat back down on the bed to tie her running shoes. "So uh, you ready to go?"

Maura nodded and the pair left for their fourth run together.

* * *

The footsteps that fell were fast paced and got increasingly faster and heavier, the sound of the synthetic rubber hitting the dirt barely discernible as giggling was heard.

Jane's hand grabbed for Maura's just before the smaller woman beat her to the bottom step that led to their residence. She tugged slightly, giving herself the advantage of the shift in momentum.

"Jane!" The doctor yelped as she avoided colliding with the brunette and noted that she had just experienced Sir Isaac Newton's Three Laws of Motion in one action. Maura reflexively grabbed the back of Jane's t-shirt and pulled. It didn't have the same effect but slowed the taller woman down and made her laugh out loud. They scrambled for the entryway; their end point, a tangle of upper limbs, breathing heavily as they reached it at the exact same time.

"I win!" Jane exclaimed as she bent over at the waist, one hand on Maura's shoulder, the other on her own hip, trying to take in some much needed oxygen.

"No way!" Came the slightly less winded answer from the doctor. She gave Jane a little shove and received one back.

"Yes way!" The Head of Mission stood upright again and gave the honey blonde a charming, full dimpled smile, and Maura forgot to respond.

Jane's stomach rumbling caused them both to giggle again and snap out of the short stare that had begun… once again.

"Breakfast?" Maura asked with an amused raised eyebrow, containing her smile.

"Ha ha, yep! My treat!" The tall women gave a wink and the side of Maura's upper thigh a quick little pat as she walked past, making her way to the kitchen.

Maura, in a little bit of a daze from the unfamiliar yet heartwarming banter, took a millisecond to recover and follow.

Jane didn't notice the delay and held the door open for the doctor with a mischievous grin on her face. Maura rolled her eyes at the chivalrous behaviour and gave the toned abdominals a soft backhand as she passed.

This time Jane gave pause to the interaction, a ridiculous grin etched to her face for the rest of breakfast. If only the others could see this side of Maura.

* * *

After a relaxed breakfast between the two roommates, Maura exited the kitchen with a dimpled smile still plastered on her pretty face. Jane's parting sarcastic comment regarding a particular yoga pose, left her feeling amused and enamoured at their most recent interaction.

Ian noticed as he came around the corner with the intention of getting himself a quick breakfast before their weekly meeting. The tall Australian almost didn't recognise his friend and raised an eyebrow at the obviously happy woman.

"Good morning, Dr Isles." He greeted in a lighthearted tone, his green eyes twinkling in wonder at what put Maura in such a good mood. They didn't dare stray to her somewhat revealing attire but, he had to admit, they were slightly tempted to.

The blonde's smile wavered a little when she realised how silly her expression must look. She stopped to receive a hug. "Good morning, Ian." The embrace was brief but Ian's right hand took a hold of her left as they parted and he stood looking at her with curiosity. "What's got you looking so happy so early in the morning?"

Maura rolled her eyes as she customarily did when in his presence. Her thumb caressed the back of his hand, enjoying the warmth of human contact. "Yoga." She stated sincerely.

It was his turn to roll his eyes.

Rosie came into view from behind Ian, having obviously witnessed the close exchange and looked to their joined hands. She was not impressed and Maura could tell despite her inability to understand particular social cues at times. She decided to ignore it. She wasn't about to let another woman's crush impede her close friendship with a man that she cared so deeply for. _I should probably warn him._ She cleared her throat and motioned behind him with her expressive hazel eyes.

Without letting go of the smaller hand in his, Ian's body turned to observe what Maura was indicating, and his face brightened considerably when he spotted the petite English woman. "Rosie! I was just about to have some brekkie. Would you like to join me?"

Rosie's brown eyes lit up a little but the upset was still present on her face. She looked to Ian and Maura's linked hands again. "Uh, sure." Her anxiety was unsettling.

Ian gently let go and Maura felt a surge of disappointment. It was quickly replaced with comfort as he pulled her into a one-armed hug and kissed the side of her head. He looked down at her and she gazed at him in the way she always had, with pure adoration. It made him love her a little more. "I'll see you at the meeting." He whispered and Maura simply nodded.

"Good morning, Rosie." She politely offered with a slight nod, as she turned to walk back to her room. Rosie didn't respond and Maura heard the slightly harsh whisper aimed at Ian once the nurse thought she was out of earshot.

"What on earth was that about, Ian?" Rosie frowned at the man whom she thought was falling for her in the same way she was falling for him.

He sighed heavily, not wanting to get into an argument or have irrational anger aimed toward him. "Listen darl, Maura is my best friend—"

Maura smiled and closed her bedroom door.

The verbal exchange outside of the kitchen continued.

Rosie's eyebrows raised almost to her hairline in disbelief. "Really?" Rosie crossed her arms and awaited further information.

Ian stepped closer and placed his hands gently on her upper arms, rubbing up and down softly in reassurance. "Yeah. There has never been anything more between us… Uh, I mean, we kissed once but—"

"You kissed?!"

"Well, we weren't sure if— You know what? It was nothing. We didn't let it go further because it felt wrong to both of us… Maura and I grew up together and went to university together. We've always had a special bond. There is nothing sexual about our relationship. I get that it's hard to understand because she is beyond attractive, but she's like a sister to me, alright?" He gave a charming smile and rubbed her arms again.

Rosie tried to process everything he was saying and nodded gently. "I— Ok." She knew this wouldn't be the end of the conversation but she had all of the information she needed right now.

"You're certainly not the first woman I've dated to have that reaction to her." He declared softly. "But, you have nothing to worry about." The tall man took on a very serious tone. "I like you a lot, Rosie, but if you make Maura feel uncomfortable or you feel threatened by her, this isn't going to work." Ian looked into the soft brown eyes with care and smiled as Rosie nodded again. He knew she would be ok. She was so much like Maura in so many ways. He hoped the two of them would get along. "C'mon, beautiful. Let's have some breakfast." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek.

Even though he was mimicking the exact same action he had made towards Maura, Rosie knew it held a very different meaning.

* * *

Maura jumped slightly when Jane came barging into their room without any warning, like a whirlwind, she shucked her workout gear off and shoved her long legs into the jeans that had been draped at the end of her bed. Next, long arms were pushed through the sleeves of her v-neck shirt and long fingers pulled roughly at the hem to cover her torso. Jane quickly scooped up a book and pen and had closed their door behind her with a heavy thud on exit.

The doctor sat stunned for all of 3 seconds when the Head of Mission reopened their door and stuck her head inside with a sheepish grin. "Uh, Maura?"

Bright eyes looked up to meet the deep ones peering intently at her. "Yes, Jane?"

"Wanna walk with me to the hospital?" A charming curl of a lip in a half smile settled on the tanned face and Jane leaned her head against the dark door frame.

The honey blonde zipped the sides of her black ankle boots and stood up. "That would be wonderful." She picked up her dark brown, leather laptop case and followed Jane outside, allowing the older woman to lock up after them.

As the pair walked the potholed, damaged road, Jane looked across to the impassive but still evidently beautiful face. "Sorry I sorta stormed in and outta our room before." She looked down at the ground again to focus on her foot placement. "I'm still not used to having a roommate." She smiled bashfully and glanced back to the smaller woman. She was surprised to find earnest hazel eyes searching her face curiously.

"I understand… You seemed a little— upset? Is everything ok?" Maura had no idea if she had read the signs correctly but Jane's body language had been very aggressive and her facial expressions indicated that something was troubling her.

Jane scoffed slightly. She couldn't believe that after one week, the doctor had picked up that something was amiss with her.

Maura misunderstood the scoff and apologised for the comment. "I'm so sorry, Jane." She was quite mortified that she had taken such liberties in guessing an almost complete stranger's state-of-mind. "I shouldn't have said—"

The brunette stopped and turned to the smaller woman, who in turn stopped in reaction to her roommate. A warm hand landed on Maura's shoulder and rubbed it affectionately. "You're right. I uh— I'm a bit anxious. I-" Jane moved her hand away and wrapped it around the back of her neck, massaging nervously. "Maybe we can talk about it later?"

Concerned and feeling a surge of uncharacteristic compassion, Maura nodded in agreement. "Yes, of course."

Jane started walking again and shoved her free hand into her pocket, the already loose fitting jeans fell slightly lower on the narrow hips and exposed a thin line of tanned skin at her lower back.

Maura noticed.

When they reached the hospital, the pair entered the meeting room and Jane situated herself at the front, as she had the week prior. Maura got herself comfortable and set up her laptop to take notes towards the back right of the room, close to the door, just as she had last time.

Both fell into an easy silence as they prepared themselves for the upcoming meeting, however, Jane's nervous pacing reminded the doctor to make sure that she followed up on the conversation they had on the way there.

* * *

Maura typed away furiously as Dr Abu Wassim spoke to the present hospital staff and several others she couldn't identify. Some of which had visited the hospital last week after their weekly meeting. She wondered what they were doing there today.

"Up until just over a week ago, the situation in east Aleppo has been relatively quiet for some weeks, with just light shelling. But as we are all aware, the situation suddenly escalated with the bombing of the school. We have treated the patients and buried the dead over the last week…" A quiet, sad murmur sounded throughout the room and Maura paused to take a mental note of how tight knit this community felt. Abu continued after an appropriate pause. "Frankly, we can't do much to prepare for a bombardment like this and we barely have the staff to respond to it, but we just continue as we know how. However, while bombs and gunfire cause death and destruction across large parts of our city, many more people are threatened by the collapsing medical system. The long-term consequences can be tragic. Here, Médecins Sans Frontières is trying to get people the medical attention they need – from preventive care to treatment for chronic diseases. I think with their new Medical Coordinator, we could perhaps start to focus on these areas as more of a priority." He smiled at Maura and she nodded politely back.

This time there wasn't a quiet murmur but an abrupt mixed babble of complaints and support to his last statement.

Maura watched as Jane stood at the front of the room and held her hands up to quieten everyone. The tall woman had an easy going way about her but such a commanding presence. It was hard not to do as she requested.

The husky voice raised slightly when a few nurses kept vocalising their evident upset. "Hey c'mon, it's a good idea to at least think about these things. Uh, perhaps Doctor Isles would like to present us with her thoughts briefly?" Jane asked and her dark eyes pleaded with the surprised hazel at the back of the room.

Several faces turned to scrutinise the new Medical Coordinator.

The doctor's eyes widened slightly and she took a deep breath. She wasn't prepared to share anything at this stage but she could give an initial thought on this topic. She caught Jane's apologetic look as the brunette motioned her to the front of the room. The Head of Mission spoke as Maura made her way up to join her. "Uh, we've been a little tardy in our order of priorities for this morning's meeting… Everyone who wasn't here last week, this is our new Medical Coordinator, Doctor Maura Isles." When the smaller woman reached the front of the room, Jane placed her hand on the doctor's shoulder and gave her a soft smile. "Dr Isles comes to us with extensive knowledge from being in the field for a number of years. Make sure she feels welcomed into our community here at Al Quds, please?! Ok, Maura… The floor's all yours." Another charming smile was aimed at her before Jane sat down to the doctor's right and left the next part of the meeting to her.

Maura looked at the few dozen faces of her MSF colleagues, other hospital staff, military personnel, and Red Cross workers in the crowded and smelly room. She cleared her throat and began to speak about the necessity of providing holistic health care to the people of Aleppo and ways in which the hospital could address areas that the current government was failing in to help provide adequate treatment to those in need. After her brief overview she asked if anyone had any initial questions or comments to make at this early stage.

Charlie put her hand up and gave Maura a soft smile. "I think this is fantastic, Dr Isles, but what about the already understaffed state of the hospital and the apparent physical and immediate needs of patients?"

The honey blonde smiled politely back and nodded, her fingers poised together, ready to answer. "That's an important question. Of course we will focus on physical needs. I think that is a given considering where we are and we will always respond accordingly to emergencies, but these people are dying from issues that could be prevented and don't need—"

"That's a fucking joke." A deep voice called from the back of the room near the doorway.

Maura raised an eyebrow in the general direction of where the protest had come from. "Excuse me?" She asked with polite confidence, not giving in to the aggressive tone of the question.

A bald man stepped forward slightly, his arms crossed over his chest in an intimidating stance. "You have no fucking idea about—"

Jane was already pissed that someone was speaking to the doctor in such a manner. As soon as Darren Crowe identified himself, she stood up ready to control the outburst. A long finger pointed to the back of the room and her eyes caught the light blue ones of the man standing next to her target for a brief moment. "Crowe! That's enough!" She glanced back at Casey and noticed the smirk on his face.

"Fucking hell, Jane! We can't just let some arrogant doctor come in and—"

Ian stood up from his position at the back, on the opposite side of the room and shook his head at Jane before she responded. "Dr Isles is far from arrogant, Darren." The tall, Australian man stated calmly and folded his muscular arms across his chest. He stared at the bald man whom he knew to be good at his job in helping keep the hospital secure, but he was far from educated about the health needs of their patients and the government policies in place that adversely affected their work.

Darren was also a very good friend of Sami and Amena's. It was obviously affecting him and clouding his judgement at the moment. "All you doctors are arrogant assholes—"

Maura cut him off, maintaining a professional tone but there was a harsh edge that quietened everyone in the room. "I apologise if I have offended you, sir, or anyone else with my very limited statement thus far, but I can guarantee that these topics are not coming from any other place than a desperate want to help those in need. Dr Wassim and I have discussed only a few ideas at this stage but will be looking to have a more in-depth discussion in the future."

"Can you share any ideas with us that you have, Dr Isles?" The head nurse asked, her dark eyes curiously taking in everything that Maura had to say.

"Of course but I'm afraid that it will cause more controversy at this stage and I would like to discuss them further with my team before introducing them to the hospital staff." Maura looked to Jane to make sure that was an acceptable thing to say. A pleased smile was the response. Maura turned back to an amused Aya Hafez.

"I most certainly don't mind a challenging conversation, Doctor." Aya spoke clearly but didn't push too much on the subject.

Jane scoffed. "That's true." Several others joined the laughter. And just as quickly as the meeting had heated up, Jane effectively dismissed everyone that needed to check their patients. "Same time next week, guys. I have another security meeting in 10 minutes. Anyone who wants to know more about that, come find me later."

A few happy nods were sent Jane's way as well as some disgruntled murmurs, but everyone seemed appeased for now.

Maura smoothed out her dark grey pants nervously and made her way to the back of the room again once the majority had dispersed. She packed up her laptop and went to leave when Ian wrapped his hand gently around her upper arm, pulling her close.

"Don't worry about half of these idiots, Maura. You know what you're doing." He affirmed kindly.

This was one of the main attributes she loved about Ian, he knew her well enough to say exactly what she needed to hear when she needed to hear it. Her shoulders relaxed and she gave him a warm smile. "I know. It's just difficult to be somewhere new and have to start from the beginning once again."

"Yeah, plus addressing incorrect approaches to the medical needs of people is tricky. Preventative measures don't make sense to most people. Don't worry about Darren though. He's a bit of a hot head but he'll calm down. He doesn't really know what on earth he's talking about anyway." He stated the last part of his sentence with a chuckle and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You're the best." He kissed her head like he had earlier that morning and she gave him a pat on the stomach.

Jane didn't miss any of it from her position at the front of the room, talking to Abu. Her dark eyes noted the closeness and wondered at what their story was. She said goodbye to Abu and the honey blonde pulled away from Ian, smiling at him until he was out the door.

Jane realised they were the only ones left in the room. She approached the doctor and received a reserved smile aimed at her. She watched her long-fingered hand reach out and place itself on the soft fabric of Maura's shoulder and internally shook her head at her inability to keep from touching the smaller woman. _Have I really only known her for a week?_

Jane's deep voice broke Maura from her musing of the feel of the warm hand rubbing against her shoulder. "Sorry about Crowe. He's all talk. He's just hurting right now I think. Sami is a close friend of his." The brunette's hand dropped away and was shoved into a jean pocket.

Maura lifted her laptop bag from the desk and smiled in understanding at her roommate. "I understand, Jane. It is emotionally taxing to be in the field. It's hard work and you all seem so tired after the school's bombing. I won't be impeded by their ignorant attitudes though." She stated the last part of her sentence with an air of finality but not arrogance.

"Yeah, I get it. I have to go to a meeting with a few of the guys now regarding security detail but I'll see you for lunch?" She questioned, hoping that was a possibility.

"Sure. I'll be familiarising myself with the patients and speaking with Dr Wassim about treatment plans and so forth. Just come and find me." An unguarded smile was Maura's parting gift to the older woman and she returned it with one of her own as they went their separate ways until lunch time.

* * *

"What the hell is your problem, Jane?" Darren Crowe stormed over to the tall woman and pointed a finger in her face.

Jane simply rolled her eyes at the man and shook her head. "Calm down, Crowe. We can talk later. Right now, we need to go over security detail."

Casey Jones calmly folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. "She's right, Darren. Sit down." His English accent more prominent when speaking quietly.

"Thanks." Jane smiled politely at Casey and took her seat. "Frost, you wanna give us the run down and then we can make some decisions accordingly?"

Barry nodded at her and gave her a charming grin. "Sure thing."

* * *

The security meeting went smoothly and everyone had left a few minutes ago. Darren's anger had mostly dissipated and he declined wanting to speak about his issue further.

Not expecting anyone else to be in that part of the hospital, Jane jumped at the hand on her shoulder as she was locking up the room. The hand immediately removed itself and a deep chuckle sounded right next to her ear.

The brunette turned around and glared at Casey. "Shit, you scared me Casey!" She couldn't help but join in on the light laughter. "What's up?"" She asked as she tucked her notepad under her arm and began walking down the long corridor towards the busy side of the hospital.

"I just- uh, I wanted to ask you— um—"

She stopped and turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry." He ran his hand over his head. "I just wanted to talk to you."

Jane closed her eyes and let out a sigh. "Casey I—"

"I get it. You don't want to see me but can we— I mean, we were good friends and I—"

"You what?"

"I don't know… I miss you." He admitted shyly.

She gave him a sympathetic smile. "Look, I'm all for hanging out but I'm really not wanting to be involved with anyone Casey. As long as you get that, then we're good. Ok?"

He smiled brightly, hope in his eyes. "Got it."

They both resumed their walk in silence for another few seconds before reaching the meal room.

"I'm gonna grab some lunch. See ya 'round, Casey." Jane stated to him as she entered the confined kitchen, her gaze settling on the honey blonde doctor that she had been looking forward to sharing a meal with. The grin that transformed her face left Casey curious as to what she was smiling at but he never got a chance to find out as Jane let the swinging door close, assuming that he was continuing on.

"Uh sure. See ya." He replied to the still slightly swinging door.

* * *

Maura's face lit up when she spotted Jane enter the small space. She had scored one of the three tables in the tiny room and had waited patiently for the Italian woman to turn up so that they could share a meal together.

The taller woman sat down opposite the doctor and they began eating their salads that Maura had prepared for them that morning.

Still chewing on a mouthful of food, Jane asked, "How's your day so far?"

Slightly amused and disgusted at the same time, Maura finished her own mouthful before answering. "It was fine. I had some paperwork to catch up on after I checked in on a few patients."

"How is Sami?" Jane asked with some hesitation, looking down into her bowl and stabbing at more green stuff. Her friend remained unconscious still and Jane knew that Maura was waiting on some test results to come back before they moved forward with his treatment.

"He's still stable. Unresponsive. No results yet." The doctor's clinical response was expected and Jane nodded in acceptance.

The truth was, Maura felt terrible about the situation, not because she had a personal connection with the patient but because Jane did. She wished that she could help the man sooner because she wanted to alleviate her roommate's suffering. The honey blonde was also compelled to problem-solve. That part came to her naturally, but she was limited in her ability because her tools were minimal, hence the need to send away for external pathology testing.

"How was your security meeting?" Maura placed her fork in her empty bowl and gave the Head of Mission her full attention.

"Yeah, good. Same old stuff." Jane shoved her mostly empty plate away and placed her hands on the table either side of the dish. "It's uh- hard to prevent something when we have no idea when it's gonna happen but- we are all on the same page with our strategy, so that's good." Her hands clenched into fists but remained on the tabletop.

"Oh, that's comforting. When I was in Ethiopia the security team did not see eye-to-eye with the military presence there. It was very disconcerting." Maura's own hands lay flat on the table only inches from the brunette's. _Why do I feel so compelled to hold those hands?_

"Yeah, I hear ya. Same when I was over there. African military groups are never easy to please."

They both grinned knowingly at each other at this statement, feeling very at ease in their conversation.

Jane's smile didn't quite reach her eyes though, like something was still bothering her.

Once again in an uncharacteristic move, Maura reached her right hand out to place it over Jane's left one. The larger hand automatically opened and flipped over, offering the smaller one her palm. It felt so natural to both of them, they didn't really question it. _Dopamine._ Was Maura's only thought as a release of the chemical flooded her system at the physical interaction.

The doctor focussed on the smooth skin under her touch and tried to calm the feelings she was experiencing. _Dopamine. One chemical, one transporter, five receptors…_ She looked up and her inner monologue ended abruptly.

Jane's dark eyes bore into hazel and Maura gave her concerned look. She didn't even have to be asked if the brunette was ok.

"I uh- am a bit off at the moment." Jane couldn't maintain the gaze and looked down at the odd but comforting embrace their hands were engaged in.

Moving her hand a bit more confidently, Maura felt warmth flood her system as her palm rested in Jane's more heavily, her fingers running softly over the delicate wrist, Jane's own lightly tickling her wrist. "What has you so 'off'?" Maura asked gently.

The Head of Mission looked around the room quickly, relieved to see it empty. Also in an uncharacteristic move, Jane opened up and shared about her whole unfortunate ordeal with Casey. The doctor didn't say anything, she just sat there and listened intently as her new friend confided in her, maintaining their hands' contact.

"…so, I just kinda left it at that and then he finally talked to me today. I feel relieved but- kinda bad that I hurt his feelings. I just don't think I can be that close of a friend to him anymore. It's too awkward." Jane finally looked up at Maura and was grateful that there was no judgement present on the beautiful face. She was viscerally aware of the doctor's fingers still caressing her inner wrist softly, comfortingly.

"I understand, Jane. As long as you are feeling settled about your decision, then you're doing the right thing." It was as simple as that to Maura and Jane smiled, happy that the doctor responded with exactly what she needed to hear.

When Aya entered the room with her lunch and spotted the pair, they were still holding hands. Not sure if it would be interpreted the wrong way, Jane slipped her hand out from underneath Maura's and stood up.

"We better get back to work." Jane stated nervously and greeted her friend. They discussed the nurse's busy schedule whilst Maura washed and dried their dishes. The doctor smiled politely at the head nurse and said goodbye to Jane before slipping out of the meal room quietly. Jane left shortly after.

Aya had definitely noticed the intimate behaviour between the two women and smiled curiously to herself. Rosie had teased Jane last week about liking the doctor romantically but she didn't actually believe that it was true. She wasn't so sure now. She shrugged, not concerned about something that wasn't her business but intrigued nonetheless.

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

War-related violence and medical trauma described ahead.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 6** : Pacifism

 _"_ _It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong."  
_\- Leo Tolstoy, 'War and Peace'

* * *

_MSF/ICRC Residence, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

"Did you hear the way she answered Dr Wassim?" Lacie's French accent sounded loudly in the empty kitchen. Her dinner companion, Grace Carmen, almost snorting her drink in amusement. "She sounded like a damn robot!"

The cackle of laughter died as soon as the two women sitting at the table heard the door open. Unfortunately for them, one of the two individuals that entered, happened to be the focal point of their conversation. Everyone now currently present in the kitchen knew it.

Maura ignored their immaturity and gave the pair a reserved "hello" as though she hadn't overheard their conversation. Jane, however, was not so calm and glared at Lacie and Grace. She was so tired of hearing this backtalk. And she was just plain tired. It had been a very busy week in the hospital.

The Head of Mission scowled at the fact that she had no control over the French woman who worked for the Red Cross, but she would definitely be speaking with the blonde MSF nurse sitting across from Lacie, first thing tomorrow. They at least had the decency to bow their heads at Jane's stare and quickly finish their meal so they could get out of there.

Dark eyes didn't leave them as Maura retrieved their food items from the small refrigerator. A hand brushing her lower back so that she would move, caused Jane to break her intense gaze.

The pair got up and gave an apologetic look to the Head of Mission, embarrassed that they had been heard. They walked past the countertop and opened the door to exit.

A male voice was heard as Vince greeted the women leaving and then smiled more brightly when he saw the honey blonde and brunette preparing their dinner. "Hi ladies!" His blue eyes twinkled happily, even with the weariness he felt, as he walked over to the fridge to retrieve his food and began heating it in the off-coloured microwave.

Still seething, Jane gave a quiet, "Hey" and assumed her nightly task of chopping vegetables, allowing herself the methodical routine of the past few weeks to wash over her as she tried to calm down. It didn't help. Some of her rage dissipated with Vince's arrival but not completely.

"Hello Vince, how was your day?" Maura asked, not seeming fazed by the recent gossip that she had overheard, nor did she reflect the busy schedule that dictated their lives, especially hers.

"Good, Maura. Busy though. You know how it's been. I'm ready for a weekend away." He grinned at her and retrieved his meal from the microwave.

Maura smiled knowingly at him, her polite disposition sincere.

Jane simply scoffed and said goodbye when he left as quickly as he came. She couldn't blame him for going back to his room. Quiet moments alone were few and far between.

The doctor cooked silently and Jane allowed it for now but once they sat down at their usual table, across from one another, the brunette searched the neutral face for any signs of upset.

Maura had her head down, placing a napkin in her lap, going through her usual pre-eating ritual. Jane frowned. _How the hell does she just ignore their shitty comments and act like nothing fazes her? It's gotta hurt, surely? And with the week we've had and the lack of sleep…_

"What the hell, Maura?" Jane asked abruptly, not meaning to sound so forceful, but she was just so angry. She softened her frown when wide hazel eyes snapped up to meet hers in shock.

Maura's heart was beating so fast at the unexpected question and tone from her friend. "I- I'm sorry?" Her eyes started to water slightly and her bottom lip trembled.

Jane dropped her fork and reached across for the smaller woman's hands. "Ah shit. No, Maur. Don't cry." Her hand cupped the side of the honey blonde's face and her thumb swiped at the stray tear that spilled out of Maura's right eye. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a jerk." Her hand dropped back down to grasp the smaller one again. She held on tightly. "That's not the first time- fuck, it's not even the fifth time I've heard our staff talk about you like that. They say shit right in front of you and you don't say anything back to them!" Jane frowned as the doctor sighed softly and made her face go blank; completely expressionless. _How does she do that?_

"What do you want me to say, Jane?" Maura asked in a guarded tone as she pulled her hands back and placed them in her lap. The emotion from just seconds ago, gone.

"What do I— Maura! They can't just say—"

"They are adults and are allowed to say whatever they want. I can't control it, nor can you. I would appreciate if you just dropped the subject." Maura asked, a small slip of feeling leaking out towards the end of the sentence. She looked into her lap as she played with the ring on her middle finger.

Jane stared at her for a few seconds before conceding. "Fine." She softened her voice and reached for the beautiful face again, lifting the blonde's chin with her fingers. Their eyes met and Jane saw the unguarded truth in Maura's. _She_ is _hurt. It_ does _hurt her._ "I will drop it after I say this… If they say anything else when I'm around, I'm gonna punch them in the throat." The threat was said in jest but Jane knew that she could possibly do exactly that if the nastiness continued.

Maura gave a small scoff of amusement and her eyes cast down momentarily. "Jaane." She reprimanded softly.

Jane's hand, not moving from its position, lifted the chin back up and smiled softly at the adorable face across from her. "I mean it." She jokingly growled and moved her hand away, missing the contact immediately.

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Jane rounded the corner and spotted the person she was looking for.

The honey blonde was speaking with a Syrian woman who appeared distressed. As she got closer, the Head of Mission recognised Sami's sister and approached them, standing next to the open curtain behind Maura to wait for their discussion to finish.

The doctor pulled a large folder from the pile that she had tucked under her arm. "Ms Malak, I—"

"It is Yara, please doctor." The woman stated with impatience, having already asked that she be called by her first name.

Maura's head bowed slightly, disturbed at the lack of what she deemed appropriate professional boundaries between a patient's family and medical staff. "Yara." She forced out calmly. "I ordered an MRI to determine the extent of Sami's cranial injuries so that we can try and solve the problem of him not waking up. The results finally came in this morning along with this machinery, so…" she pressed a switch on the mobile equipment to the right of Sami's bed and the panel attached to it lit up. She spotted Jane out of the corner of her eye and continued, not bothered by her presence. In actuality, her internal reaction was quite pleasant and she once again shelved the feeling for later contemplation. "… if you'll just give me a few moments to look at them?" Without waiting for an answer from Yara, Maura fitted the scans to the panel and inspected them with a clinical eye.

In the foreboding silence that ensued, Jane watched the small figure standing in front of the illuminated scans, her observant dark eyes instinctively falling into the familiar task of assessing the image before her. Even in the shapeless dark blue scrubs she knew that the petite doctor was a formidable presence in any hospital; the honey blonde hair that was swept back from her face in a loose knot, freeing up her serious and focussed features. Maura was completely engrossed in her task… and beautiful. Jane was sure that Maura took her breath away at least once a day.

The short but slender frame was weighted back on one leg, folded arms holding a collection of papers to her chest as she studied the pictures of Sami's brain. The bright back-lit panel cast a pall over her lightly tanned skin, and reflected her intent, seemingly-colourless eyes. _What I would give to have her focus so intently on me…_ Jane thought as she imagined the look directed at her instead of the scans.

Maura glanced over to Jane again, feeling the burn of her scrutiny.

It took Jane a moment to register that she was having her wish granted. The eyes which, now meeting her own, revealed a vibrant hazel. Surprised, the curly haired woman felt her breath catch in her throat, knowing that those eyes had looked at her multiple times already that day, but in that very moment realised that she had honestly never seen a colour like them before.

Maura looked away, overwhelmed at the connection she felt with Jane in that moment, and turned her attention to Yara. Professional Maura was firmly back in place and she proceeded to inform the woman in a detached tone. "These are cross-sectional images of your brother's cranium. Basically, whatever impacted him during or after the explosion has caused fluid around the brain. When I examine him again later today, I suspect I'll find some bleeding in his cranial cavity, where the fluid is. I will try to control the bleeding and ease the pressure the ensuing increase in volume is causing." She turned back to the panel and pointed to a particularly dark section on the scan.

To Jane, it looked like a Rorschach test. _Can you implement a psychological test using an actual brain as the inkblot?_

Not having a clue that what she was saying was going over Yara's head, Maura continued. "The slight difference in colour here is evidence that there is tissue damage, which indicates that there might be some loss of function in limb movement. The nature of cortical damage might imply other complications but I've tested his reflexes and responsiveness, and while he seems fine for now, his situation is very delicately balanced. I would be lying if I told you that it wasn't serious."

Yara stood there in shock, hearing but not quite comprehending what the doctor was saying.

Jane moved closer and Yara looked at her for the first time, recognition softening her face.

Maura continued after a moment, not perceiving the distress that was growing. "Ideally, I don't want to put him under general anaesthesia with this kind of injury, he might have suffered adverse reactions that could increase the time to recover from surgery. But in this case I think it is absolutely necessary so we can prevent further damage because the bleeding is—"

"Uh, Dr Isles?" Jane interrupted and wrapped an arm around Yara who had buried her face in her hands.

Maura saw the slightly bewildered expression on Jane's face and the slightest hint of a weary smile that touched her lips, pleading for the doctor to understand that the information given was enough for now.

The blonde pursed her lips and held her clipboard more tightly like a shield against her chest to try and alleviate the heaviness she suddenly felt. She was very aware that she had disappointed Jane somehow. She felt her head pull forward heavily as every neuron in her brain cried for sleep. _It has already been such a long day of explaining procedures to under qualified staff. I don't think I can talk anymore but I should probably… apologise?_ Maura wasn't sure what she needed to apologise for but she certainly felt it might help. "Sorry. Do you have any more questions?" She internally winced at how insincere she sounded. She didn't dare look at Jane.

The Head of Mission took a deep, indiscernible breath in and waited for Yara to respond.

Lost in her thoughts, the change in the doctor's tone reminded Yara that she was being spoken to. She pulled herself back to her stark reality, and saw the expression on the doctor's face - the smile that in that instant screamed to her of condescension, and her mind reacted immediately to the ensuing blast of adrenaline shooting through her blood. _Is this some game to you?_ The weight of the last few weeks came crashing down around Yara's shoulders and flared briefly into anger. _The frantic calls from my parents, the endless waiting without knowing what is going on, now this. A patronising doctor that obviously left Social Skills 101 out of her curriculum._

Yara remained silent a moment, willing herself to calm, before turning her gaze from the floor to Maura's shadow. _You're so clinical, so caught up in yourself - it's almost like you don't have a heart in there, and you're so damn proud of it..._ Her eyes flickered to the doctor's passive face. _Do you feel anything at all?_

She raised her dark eyes to meet hazel, and they locked for a moment, then another. "I suppose bad news is the order of the day, then? Nothing to soften the blow?" Yara's voice was calm despite the insistent pressure of simmering emotions pressing at the back of her eyes.

Maura heard the emotion. Saw the anger. Formal was her default. "I didn't promise answers that would please you, Ms Malak—"

"For fuck's sake, it's Yara!" The dark haired woman let out angrily without raising her voice.

"Hey, shhh, it's ok. Let's try and stay calm." Jane rubbed Yara's shoulder and looked to Maura for a response. _God, please let her soften the indifference and find a bit of empathy._

Maura remained impassive. "I'm sorry. I wish I could give you something more hopeful but—" she softly exhaled when Jane cut her off and put her arm more firmly around Sami's sister.

"But she's just doing her job, Yara. C'mon, let's get you home." Jane turned the Syrian woman sideways and spotted Frankie walking past. "Frankie! Hey, can you take Yara home?"

Maura turned her tired eyes to the scans and jotted down some notes on her clipboard as she went back to what she was comfortable with. She was 100% dedicated to finding a solution and wouldn't give up on Sami. _Perhaps I should have said that to his sister?_

Jane returned a moment later and dark eyes rested calmly on the smaller woman's face. _She's worked an almost 24 hour shift. She's beyond tired… but still achingly beautiful._

Unaware of the eyes on her, engrossed in her task, Maura's unwavering gaze took in every detail it could possibly see on the scan. As Jane got closer, she could tell the focus and determination in those eyes was a stark contrast to the crushing exhaustion Maura felt in her bones, sapping away her reserves.

"Maur?" Jane reached her hand out to land on the doctor's shoulder. Her tanned fingers standing out against the white of the lab coat.

Startled out of her thoughts, Maura glanced back at her roommate and gave a weary smile.

"C'mon, you need to get some sleep." Jane stated softly, expecting an argument. She was surprised when Maura nodded in agreement and followed her down the corridor towards the staffroom to gather her items and head home.

* * *

"Uh, hey, Ian?" Jane approached the tall muscular man and gave him an easy going smile. He returned it, as was his nature to do so.

"Hey Jane, what's up?" His thick Australian accent made him a little more endearing.

Jane couldn't help but like the guy despite his very close friendship with Maura. She wished it didn't bother her but she couldn't help wonder if they had been a thing or not. The idea of anyone with Maura bothered her. _I still haven't got the guts to ask her about it. Maybe I just don't want to know…_

Not one to beat around the bush, she got straight to the point with him. "Not sure if you're aware but several staff members are making some nasty comments about Maura." She paused to gauge his reaction. His face stayed neutral, only a slight flare of his nostrils conveyed his inner feelings regarding the topic.

"Go on." He encouraged, maintaining his stance.

"Right, well, has she always been kinda… um—"

"Cold?" He asked with some amusement.

Jane frowned at him. "She's not cold! She's just— oh…" She stopped when she realised she didn't need to defend the doctor. Ian's face showed that he understood what the conversation was about.

"Listen Jane, Maura is the consummate professional. She doesn't let anything interfere with her work. Not what people say, not how they look at her, not her own or other's feelings, not relationships, nothing. I know that she comes across as cold-hearted but you and I both know that's far from the truth, right?"

"Uh huh."

"So, if she isn't bothered by what people say, why are you so upset about it?" He smirked, having an inkling about why the brunette might be so protective of his best friend.

Jane shoved her hands in her pockets and shrugged. "I want them to see her for who she really is. Not some cyborg with no feelings. She's just- she needs to learn how to interact with them so they can see what she's really like." She stated without the knowledge of pulling off such a feat.

"Well, good luck with that, mate." Ian chuckled and gave Jane a heavy pat on the back. "You aren't the first woman to try and get her to open up and relax a little."

"Not the first—"

Ian didn't let her finish. "Here's the thing, Jane. If you can get Doctor Maura Isles to realise that life isn't just about saving lives but actually living her own, then you'll have succeeded where no other has. Trust me though, many have tried and failed." He pushed off the rail that he had been leaning against and gave Jane a wink as he sauntered off.

The brunette stood there dumbfounded by the conversation and pondered Ian's words more carefully. _What did he mean by 'not the first woman'? And why on earth was he so passive about how his friend is being spoken about?_ It made Jane angry but not quite angry enough to confront Maura again. Not yet anyway.

* * *

The next few days were busy for the MSF and Red Cross crews. Abu had contracted a stomach virus and Maura was doing her best to work with several other doctors to stand in for him until he recovered.

There had been a bombing of a market in the eastern part of the city, the opposite side to them. 12 people were dead and at least 60 injured. It was a scary reality. The residents of Aleppo never knew what was going to happen next.

Al-Quds hospital was teeming with activity as the staff cared for patients from all over the city. Countless sick people were unable to get into hospitals in their own districts because of the blast and were filling up the waiting rooms of other clinics and hospitals. There were many places that provided care scattered all over the large city but they were only small and able to take very few patients at a time.

This meant that everyone was run off their feet and tired. Especially the medical staff and security.

Currently, Jane, Frankie, Barry, and Vince were involved in a sleep-deprived, somewhat heated, discussion with Casey and Darren at the front of the hospital. Their dirty, booted feet were spread out in an almost circle, the potholed ground making it a slight challenge.

"Yara is furious with Dr Isles. Says that she's keeping Sami in the coma because she doesn't know what the fuck she's doing." Darren chuckled at his insult.

"Shut it, Crowe." Jane's voice warned. She folded her slender but muscular arms across her sweat-soaked t-shirt and glared at him.

"I don't understand why she hasn't done the surgery yet. Sami could be awake by now!"

Jane rolled her eyes at her brother. "Don't you think she woulda done it already if it was that straightforward?" She asked him sarcastically, poking his chest. He shrugged and pushed her hand away jokingly.

"This is Syria, not the USA. There's no need to be so overly cautious." Casey stated in his own ignorance of the situation.

Jane shot him a scowl. "That's our friend, Casey, and Dr Isles has not lost a patient since she's been here."

"That's the point though. Maybe she wont do the surgery because Sami isn't going to recover?" Barry suggested somewhat sadly, not wanting to put the doctor down but he had been curious about the situation himself.

"I don't think so." Jane practically growled, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jeans to stop herself from hitting the next person that said anything negative about her roommate.

"I agree with Jane. Maura's a good doc and she's been doin' this shit way too long to care about stats. That's probably the issue. She's been livin' tough for way too long. She's become too detached." Vince offered sincerely and swiped the back of his hand across his perspiring forehead.

His response was better than the others but it still agitated Jane. Before she could respond, the group were caught off guard and alarmed by the sound of a vehicle approaching at an unusual speed.

Casey reacted quickly and reached for his gun before he realised just as suddenly that it wasn't necessary. A Red Cross 4WD had come into view and stopped abruptly, the tyres sending a cloud of dust up into the hot air.

Charlie jumped out of the driver's seat before the vehicle had barely come to a halt. The group saw the tall woman's scared face, heard yelling, and sprang into action, running toward the now stationary truck.

As they approached they heard the sound of a man half screaming, half groaning in pain. It was almost unbearable. It brought those that were situated outside, running towards the 4WD.

Charlie was frantic. The front passenger not faring much better. The back passenger unable to move for fear that they would make matters worse.

"Charlie, what's goin' on?" Jane raced over to the woman who had just exited the vehicle, her feet landing skilfully on the uneven ground. The dust behind the car was still present but Charlie paid it no attention as she opened the back door to reveal another Red Cross worker laying on the backseat, trying to grab at his face, blood oozing from his fingers. "Oh shit!" Jane motioned for Ali and Iyas to get help, waving them in the direction of the hospital. "Get Dr Isles!"

Lacie got out of the front seat shakily and approached Jane with fear still encompassing her. She spoke forcefully, her French accent more prominent than usual. "We- they attacked us! Mike was hit by shrapnel. We need a doctor!" Her tears threatened to spill at the trauma they had recently been involved in and Barry moved to help settle her.

"They'll be out any moment." Jane reassured and reached her hands over to help Charlie, trying to stop Mike from ripping the piece of metal out of his head. Sayid sat with Mike's head in his lap, trying his best to help but was progressively going into shock.

The scene was gruesome. Every inch of Mike's face was covered in red liquid.

A piece of metal protruding from, what seemed like, his left eye socket

It was a wonder that he wasn't dead.

A hand planted itself in the lower middle of Jane's back and pushed slightly. "Jane, I need to get in there." Maura's soft but firm voice sounded right behind her. She felt like she should have known it was the doctor's gentle, warm hand on her. _Get out of the way, Jane!_ She pushed herself back slightly but made sure to keep a hold of Mike's frantic hands. Charlie turned sideways to get out of the way completely, her hands now covered in blood.

The blonde ducked under Jane's long arms and positioned her smaller body in front of the taller woman. They were pressed so tightly together, Jane's front to Maura's back, Jane couldn't believe how distracting it was considering their current circumstances.

Ian arrived and quickly opened the opposite back door, leaning across the seat and held Mike's kicking legs. "Bugger." He winced in sympathy. "Shh mate, you're gonna be alright." He tried to soothe the distraught man and waited for a directive from the Medical Coordinator.

Maura's discerning eyes surveyed the wound. Unconcerned about the blood, her hands held Mike's face and gentle fingers carefully examined the damage. She glanced across the backseat to her colleague. "Definite penetration but possible perforation. Ian, can you lift him? We need to get him into an OR." She had no immediate remedy for this injury and she didn't want to wait for a stretcher. Maura turned, practically in Jane's arms, and looked up into dark eyes. Her hand fell naturally to the taller woman's hip. "Jane, as soon as Ian gets him out, keep a hold of his hands so he doesn't dislodge the metal."

"K." The brunette rasped, highly aroused and embarrassed at her body's response to the doctor's front pressed so firmly against hers. The warm frame moved much too soon but not soon enough, then suddenly they were all in motion, rushing to get Mike into the OR.

Ian's large, muscular frame reached into the backseat and hoisted the shorter, much skinnier man up. He carried him carefully but quickly into the hospital, Maura doing her best to support the profusely bleeding crown and Jane stopping Mike from pulling at the foreign object embedded in his eye.

The rest of the group were left somewhat in shock. Charlie and Lacie leaned against one another, taking a deep breath of relief that their friend and coworker was in good hands. Sayid sat in the back of the vehicle, unable to move after their recent encounter.

They had been blindsided.

Called to a meeting with a few government officials to discuss the water treatment plan for another remote town in the West of Aleppo. The next thing they knew, cluster bombs were exploding around the building but nothing being directly hit. Mike just happened to be standing the closest to the small tank that they were wanting to upgrade when it shattered. Shards of tin metal went flying and everyone ducked for cover. Mike was the only one hit.

"What the fuck just happened?" Casey asked with wide eyes. He looked at Frankie and Barry who were seeing to Sayid, trying to coax him out of the 4WD.

Charlie shook her head and explained the situation.

"Fuck. That's awful." Darren empathised with the Red Cross workers. He sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, she might be cold as ice but, from what I hear, he's supposedly got the best surgeon in Aleppo working on him. We'll see."

Casey scoffed at the mixed sentence. It was such a backhanded compliment or a soft insult. Only Darren could confuse the two. He knew that he had a major issue with the detached doctor but so did mostly everyone else that she came in contact with. _Except Jane._ He had noticed her defensiveness of Maura. He also noticed their closeness but didn't give it much attention as the curly haired brunette exited the hospital again and approached the group. He sighed at the sight of the beautiful woman and turned back to talk to the others to distract himself.

"They just got Mike into the OR." Jane shared with the two women in front of her. She nervously ran her now clean hand over her ponytail.

"Damn… It was a surprise attack, Jane. I- It was really fucking scary." Charlie shared and teared up, relieved that at least the majority of them remained unharmed. Her blue eyes darted back over to Sayid who had finally been convinced to get out of the car. Casey and Frankie on either side of him with their arms behind his back. Sayid's lap was soaked red.

"Do you think it was a warning?" Jane asked, worried that the attacks were escalating.

All Lacie and Charlie could do was shrug. They had no clue and had to fight the fear that attempted to settle in their minds at the very real possibility.

"I hope Mike's gonna be ok." Lacie shared with anticipation as she turned away from the sight of Sayid crying and shaking violently. She felt sick and couldn't shake the image of Mike's injury from her mind. Her eyes landed on Jane's hip. A small, bloody handprint present.

"I'm sure he will be. Maura's an amazing surgeon." Jane stated confidently as she watched Frankie, Casey, and Barry help Sayid into the hospital to get cleaned up and hopefully be treated for shock. "Let's go and wait for an update. I want to make sure Sayid gets looked after."

"You should get a clean shirt, Jane." Lacie suggested. She swallowed the lump in her throat and began to walk towards the hospital entrance

Charlie grimaced at the blood but then gave a slight smirk as she recalled witnessing Maura in action. She followed Lacie and Jane walked beside her. "Maura is pretty incredible… Remember the first day she was here?" She shared a smile with Jane. They had both been awestruck by the petite woman's commanding presence and capability in the OR.

"How could I forget?" Jane exclaimed with the same enamoured look that crossed her face every time she thought of her roommate.

Not noticing the smitten facial expression of her friend, Charlie sniggered and shook her head in disbelief. "It was pretty hot." She laughed at Jane's groan of annoyance and Lacie rolling her eyes. "C'mon guys! Don't tell me that neither of you have noticed how god damn gorgeous she is?!" The Red Cross Coordinator slapped Lacie on the back in jest. "Not even you, Frenchie?"

"Eh, she's very attractive but I'm afraid I would get umm- I don't know how to say it in English- uh icy bite?" Lacie laughed, picturing the frosty Dr Isles and herself in an intimate position.

"You mean frostbite?" Charlie supplied with a chuckle.

"Oui. Frostbite on my derrière does not sound appealing but- I don't know. She is quite stunning—" Lacie suddenly remembered that Jane was a part of the conversation and stopped, worried that she would offend her. It was too late. She glanced to her right and just behind her where Jane had been but the tall woman was nowhere to be found. "Oh merde."

* * *

"Jane?" Maura's sweet voice called out as the brunette stormed through the hallway and past the OR the smaller woman had just stepped out from. The doctor's surgical cap was still in place but the gown and gloves had been removed already.

"Uh, hey Maura." Jane gave her roommate a genuine smile, allowing it to diffuse her anger. "How um- how is he?" She tried to fight the images of the doctor pressed against her from earlier but it was no use. _My friend just had surgery and might lose an eye and all I can think about is Maura's body against mine. Ughh, I'm such an ass._

Unaware of her friend's internal berating, Maura smiled back and placed her hand unnecessarily on Jane's forearm in a sign of comfort, rubbing her thumb gently against the tanned skin. "Ian is just stitching him up. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as it looked. The puncture at the lateral margin of the orbit resulted in cranial penetration and a pneumocranium—"

A long-fingered hand came to rest over the smaller one that was heating up her whole body. "Maur, wait… Not that your medical speak isn't adorable but I have no idea what you just said." Jane teased and patted the blonde's hand before dropping hers back to her side. _She has no idea what she's doing to me._

Maura squeezed the arm slightly with affection and grinned at the teasing, moving her hand away. "He's fine. His eye is going to be ok but I'm not sure about full recovery of sight. We'll have to wait and do some testing later tonight."

"You're not sticking around until then, are you?" Jane asked, concerned at how much Maura had been working.

The doctor's face scrunched up slightly in offense. "Of course I am. He's my patien—"

"Maura…" Jane's voice held a hint of warning. She stepped closer and put her left arm around the smaller woman instinctually. Maura relaxed a little against the strong body, enjoying the feeling of Jane's arm wrapped around her shoulders. Her own arm wound itself around the back of slim hips.

Hazel eyes looked up and locked on intense obsidian. _She's so close. Almost like when we were outside. I could almost lean up and kiss- no, you will not think about kissing._ "Jane, I can't—"

The brunette cut Maura off gently, her voice full of concern. "You've haven't eaten dinner before 11pm all week and you don't relax until around 1am when you finally drift off and then you're back up at 6!" She held the doctor more tightly the more passionate she became.

"I- I need to make sure—"

"You have a team, I know it's a small one, but a team to help you." The taller woman stated with an air of finality.

Maura frowned and nodded in acceptance for now. "Fine." She lowered her forehead to Jane's collarbone and reluctantly pulled away. "Let me talk with Kent and I'll meet you outside in 10 minutes?" She wouldn't usually put up with being spoken to in such a manner but there was something about the way Jane treated her that made her feel very cared for, and she was grateful for that. It had been a long time since she had spent time with anyone that cared enough to boss her around.

"Sure." Jane's full dimpled smile was worth it.

* * *

Thanks for reading!  
Premature warning for the upcoming chapter... It is going to be intense... (:


	7. Loss & strength

This chapter is not for the faint of heart. Medical trauma ahead. Specific trigger warning for sensitive death (not a major character).

* * *

 **CHAPTER 7:** Loss & strength

 _"_ _It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."  
_ \- Chuck Palahniuk, 'Fight Club'

* * *

_MSF/ICRC Residence, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Jane was transitioning to her next phase of sleep when Maura moved quietly into their room. Trying to be silent was useless, she almost always woke the dark haired woman up with the slightest sound. She tried to contain the affectionate smile that graced her lips when Jane let out a low groan and looked up at her through messy curls and half-lidded eyes. "Hey Maur." Was rasped out and the tall woman dragged her hand through her hair to push it out of her face. "Did Ian walk with ya?" She stifled a yawn with her hand and smiled sheepishly at the amused doctor.

Maura's face expressed delight at having someone care for her the way Jane did. "Yes, I had company walking back." The doctor moved about the room more carelessly now that her roommate was awake.

"S'late."

"I know." Maura agreed and continued her nightly routine. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"S'okay." Jane watched her like a hawk, head now propped up on her hand. First the blonde sat on the edge of her bed, unzipped her ankle boots, and removed her socks. Next, she stood and unbuttoned her fitted chinos and pushed them down her smooth legs. Jane gulped and looked across the room to the wall next to Maura's bed and then back when the doctor started talking to her.

"I have good news." Maura's hazel eyes twinkled, unaware of her nightly routine and its effect on the dark haired woman. She placed her soiled clothing in her small hamper at the end of her bed, next to the set of drawers and looked over at Jane.

Dark eyebrows rose in question, trying to ignore the expensive underwear that fit Maura perfectly.

"Sami is awake." The doctor shared neutrally but some happiness crept into her voice knowing that Jane would be excited to hear it.

"What?! Seriously?" Jane sat up quickly, responding exactly as Maura had predicted. "That's awesome."

"Yes. It's wonderful news."

Maura's dimpled grin melted Jane and she sighed in relief, flopping back in her bed. "Is that why you're late? Did you guys do the surgery?" The brunette watched the smaller woman disappear into the tiny cubicle of the bathroom that they shared. She was disappointed but also grateful that Maura finished undressing in there.

"Yes and yes!" Was called out in response to her questions before the shower started running. Jane's thoughts turned towards Sami and how he must feel knowing that his wife was dead. _Damn, I hope Yara is there with him. I'm sure she is. Oh, I wonder how she was towards Maura? Shit, I hope that Maur was a bit warmer than last time. Poor Sami, I can't even imagine how it must feel to still be alive and the love of your life wasn't. I think I'd rather be dead…_

The bathroom door reopened to reveal a fresh-faced, gorgeous honey blonde wrapped in a towel. Jane was certain she would never get sick of seeing Maura like this. Especially when their eyes locked. After a moment, Maura's narrowed in concern. "Jane, are you alright?" The doctor moved closer and sat next to Jane's hip, her hand landed softly on the tanned forearm.

It was then that Jane felt a tear slip out of her eye and trail down her cheek. "Yeah, I'm fine." She swiped at it, embarrassed at showing such vulnerability to the always composed woman.

Maura simply raised an eyebrow in disbelief and rubbed up and down Jane's arm in comfort. "You don't have to be tough in front of me, Jane."

Jane scoffed. "Says the toughest woman I know." She responded jokingly, looking at the beautiful woman, only just managing to catch the hurt look on Maura's face before it shifted to neutral. "Hey…" She grasped the thin wrist before Maura could get up and move away. They started at one another before Jane continued. "I didn't mean that in a bad way, Maur. You're— I really admire that about you. I wish I was as strong as you."

"I'm not strong, Jane. Just detached." Maura picked at a thread on her towel and shrugged.

"No, don't say th—"

"You know it's true." Maura stood up and moved away to change, not wanting to continue the conversation. "Anyway, I'm sure you'll feel better when you get to see Sami tomorrow." She pulled her nightie and clean underwear out of her top drawer, not thinking twice about modesty, as usual, and dropped her towel to get dressed.

Jane almost let out a groan for two reasons. Firstly, she really didn't know what to say and she was beyond frustrated that the doctor thought so little of herself. Secondly, Maura was naked and that warranted a groan for a different type of frustration. She turned away as she always did and tried to hide her flushed face, eyes glued to the ceiling. _You would think I'd be used to it by now._

Maura lifted the thin sheet covering her bed and crawled under it. Her head relaxed into the pillow and she yawned. "I'll tell you about the surgery tomorrow. I'm so tired. Goodnight, Jane."

The Head of Mission didn't look over at Maura for fear of her face revealing exactly what was racing through her mind. "Night, Maur. Sweet dreams."

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

"Evening, Dr Isles." A tall dark-skinned man greeted the honey blonde as he walked by her with an elderly couple. The older man carrying a very red-faced and upset toddler.

Maura looked up from her clipboard and nodded at the local doctor. "Hello, Dr Tajeddin." Her observant eyes taking in the scene that was passing her slowly.

Dr Zahed Tajeddin led the couple behind a shabby curtain so that he could examine the child.

Maura frowned as she watched them disappear but could still hear the toddler's raspy cry. She changed her direction and stood at the edge of the space, just to Zahed's right and within his view. He smiled at her with ease, grateful for another set of hands if needed.

The tall doctor waved Maura closer and spoke in Arabic to the older couple. He turned his kind eyes back to Maura. "Dr Isles, this is Muhammad and Amirah Uthman. They are the grandparents of this boy, Jahid. Their daughter died just over 1 year ago giving birth to him." His compassionate gaze turned back to the toddler and he spoke to them again as he placed his stethoscope on the child's chest. He was unlucky in his attempt as the child squealed and squirmed wildly.

Maura stepped forward to help. "We need to take his temperature." She stated with a frown as her hands reached his tiny body. The hoarse breathing that resulted with the upset, had her instantly concerned. "Dr Tajeddin, test for bordetella pertussis."

His dark eyes widened. "Oh shit." He looked back to the unknowing grandparents. He fired off several questions and got worried nods in response. Zahed turned back to the petite blonde. "You are right, Dr Isles." He removed the stethoscope and took Jahid's temperature. "102."

"How long has he had the temperature?" Maura asked and Zahed asked the grandparents. They had no idea but they knew he had felt hot to touch and had been breathing erratically for several days. "He needs treatment right now." Maura stated with a matter of urgency.

Zahed nodded in agreement. "Yes. Go ahead and get Aya, please." He turned back to the elderly couple. "Nahn bihajat 'iilana aitikhadh Jahid lilaikhtibarat…" ( _We need to take Jahid for tests)._ He led them from their current space to a sterilised room to administer treatment.

* * *

"Dr Isles, are we sure it's not laryngotracheobronchitis?" Aya asked over the toddler's screams that could be heard from both ends of the corridor, in the furthest wing of the hospital. Muhammad held his grandson on the bed as the doctors did their best to work quickly.

"I'm not 100% sure but I don't think we have time to explore anything else right now." Maura answered as she prepared the IV. "Either way, Bactrim is necessary but it will take some time to prepare. Can you give him a dosage of acetaminophen?" At Aya's nod, Maura continued. "An X-ray would be ideal. I'm still waiting for Dr Drake to retrieve the machine." Her attention was on the next course of treatment to ease the boy's symptoms.

Amirah tried to soothe Jahid as her husband held him when it was time to administer the cannula for the saline and antibiotics. He screamed when the needle pierced his slightly numbed skin. The medical team hooked up the fluid bags and connected the correct tubes so that it could begin its flow through the tiny veins.

Jahid's upset made his wheezing worse but within a few minutes, he stilled, going limp in his grandfather's arms. Everyone in the room sighed in relief except for Maura.

Horrified hazel eyes looked at the boy's face and then the silent monitor that should have been sounding an alarm to match the devastating numbers on the small screen. She cursed herself for not paying better attention. _Oh my god…_

"No!" NO!" She let out vehemently. The machine's delayed alarm finally started sounding. Maura carelessly dropped the chart she was scribbling notes on and wrenched open the drawer next to her. She was frantic. "Stop the Bactrim, NOW!" She yelled to a frozen Aya, who snapped out of her stupor and complied immediately, shocked at the sudden turn of events. "Up the saline!" Maura opened another drawer violently. What she was looking for, was not there. "Where is the god damn EpiPen!?"

Zahed had also reacted dramatically to her shout and noticed the blue tinge to Jahid's lips, the monitor suddenly signalling that his oxygen levels were dangerously low. He practically pulled the panic-stricken grandparents from the room as Maura and Aya worked feverishly to save the boy from the severe anaphylactic reaction.

"Get the epinephrine!" Maura yelled and began CPR.

Zahed rushed back into the room with Rosie, hoping that the English nurse knew where their supply cart had disappeared to.

Not caring about protocol or finding the correct mask for the job, Maura leaned over the tiny body with her mouth covering his mouth and nose, doing her best to administer oxygen. She could feel the coolness of his lips and the resistance from his closed airways. _He's not going to survive this, even if he did, the lack of oxygen, he's sure to have brain damage._ Thoughts of all of the possible outcomes were running rampant through her mind.

Rosie rushed over to Maura and took over compressions. Knowing that the experienced doctor would have already thought of it, she couldn't help suggest it anyway. "Dr Isles, what about intubation? Tracheotomy?!" Rosie also knew there was only one outcome to this.

Maura pulled her mouth away and hung her head in despair. It was too late. He had stopped breathing long before they were aware. Any attempt to resuscitate would be futile. The monitor finally displayed the line that they were all too afraid to look at. The sound of Jahid's heart flatlining sounded on the faulty machinery and they all stood still.

In a completely uncharacteristic move, Maura wrapped her hand around the malfunctioning monitor and shoved it into the wall, hard. "Fucking piece of crap!" It became unplugged from the force and the top end left a thick dent in the wall.

They were left in silence, no one could barely even breathe. Maura found one more ounce of energy and slapped her open hand to the wall above the dent the monitor had left as a result of her violent outburst. She rested her head on her forearm as she breathed deeply, composing herself.

Aya's eyes landed on the still body of Jahid and her sniffles permeated the quiet and Zahed moved to her, wrapping her up in his arms. This was the first child they had lost in a long time.

Maura took a deep breath and looked around the room at her grieving team and the late coming nurse. She made eye contact with each of them, doing her best to convey her sympathy. She then looked at her watch. "Time of death, approximately 22:10." The honey blonde looked back over to Aya and Zahed. "I- I apologise for my outburst." She was about to revert to formalities but left that particular wall down. Her team didn't deserve that right now. "Rosie?" Maura spoke softly. "Could you please call the Medical Examiner to take care of the body?" She didn't dare look at the tiny figure that they had failed. That _she_ had failed. "I need to go and speak with the grandparents. Zahed, would you please interpret for me?" She steeled her face and waited for his response.

The dark man nodded and let go of the small nurse and Rosie took his place. Zahed took Maura's cue and mustered up the courage for what they were about to face. He followed the Medical Coordinator out of the room.

* * *

_MSF/ICRC Residence, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

The sleep cycle… An integral part of life but deceptively complex. During REM, a small group of cells in the brainstem, the subcoeruleus nucleus, controls the process as the dreamer's brain becomes highly active. The body's muscles are paralysed, and breathing and heart rate become erratic. The purpose of sleep remains a biological mystery, despite growing understanding of its biochemistry and neurobiology, having confounded scientists for centuries.

Jane, unfortunately, had been unable to enter a decent sleep cycle all evening and woke, fighting everything within her to not toss and turn for what felt like the hundredth time that night. She had already managed to twist herself up in the stained white sheets that were supposed to be fitted around the corners of her small mattress. Perspiration had gathered at the hollow of her throat and she wiped her palms on the dark red tank she had worn to bed. _It's almost September, surely it should be cooling down soon?_

The Italian woman had waited patiently for Maura to arrive home after a long day, hoping to have dinner together but she received news that the doctor had been held up with an emergency and had given up waiting when the clock had shown it to be 11:50pm. She skipped dinner and attempted to sleep. After dozing on and off for a few hours, Maura finally entered their room quietly. The smaller woman showered quickly and climbed into bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

Dark eyes glanced across the tiny gap between her bed and her roommate's. The honey blonde was on her back but had her face turned toward Jane. One arm was tucked underneath her pillow, the other…

It was exceptionally hot.

Jane's gaze ripped away from the sight in the bed next to hers and she let out a breath. _I don't know how much more I can take._ Her head flopped to the side again and she took a mental photograph of the pose the smaller woman was in.

Maura's organic, Egyptian cotton nightie had ridden up to her hips during the night and the doctor's hand was resting on her own pelvic line, a thumb caught under the top of her lace panties.

Jane looked away again and wiped at her tired eyes, fighting the urge to mimic Maura's current position. Completely enthralled at the reaction her body was having to the view, she looked over once more. _Seriously… I can't even bring myself to look away for 5 seconds. Why does she have to be so… beautiful? No, that doesn't seem adequate enough. Gorgeous? That certainly fits but she is so much more than that._

Unable to help herself, the brunette rolled completely onto her side to watch her sleep. She knew that she was taking advantage of being able to examine Maura's lovely face without restraint.

That was until Maura's face contorted in pain and Jane's eyes opened widely and she sat up a little in her bed, holding her breath.

_Falling  
_ _Falling  
_ _Falling  
_ _Her arms flung out in front of her and she flailed them futilely, trying to grip onto something, anything…_

Maura jerked into wakefulness, her eyes a little wild as the veil of her dreamscape was torn from her consciousness. She closed them again.

 _Blast..._ She exhaled hard, finding herself safely outside of her nightmare, and raised her arms to bury her face into the crooks of her elbows for a moment. She breathed deeply, trying to anchor herself in her body. _It's been a while since I've had one that vivid._ Her head pounding, she slowly sat up and allowed her eyes to open, observing her early morning surroundings.

"Maur?" Long legs had already swung over the edge of the bed and a hand reached to touch the blonde on her sheet-covered thigh.

"Oh!" The doctor clutched her chest when Jane's raspy voice sounded in the silence of the early morning. Hazel eyes met apologetic brown and Maura lowered her hands to her lap, digits stretched out and grazing the tips of Jane's fingers, desperate for contact. "You startled me."

The brunette frowned. "Sorry." Her hand didn't dare move in case it broke the tiny bit of connection. "You ok?"

Maura took a deep breath and pushed away the horrible dream. "Yes, fine. Just— a bad dream."

"A nightmare?" Jane could understand those. She had them frequently enough.

"Oh, not that dramatic. Just— unpleasant." Maura smiled softly at her roommate and finally grasped the hand on her leg. "I'm fine, Jane." She stated without conviction and gave a soft pat to the tanned appendage. Before Jane could protest and push harder about whatever it was that was bothering the doctor, the smaller woman stretched languidly and reached over to their shared bedside table to check the time on her watch.

Jane's eyes almost bugged out of her head at the move and she pulled her hand away, looking elsewhere to distract herself. _Right, like I could distract myself from that! I need a shower._ She stood and threw her sheet haphazardly over her bed in a feeble attempt at making it neat. "It's uh- we still have a couple of hours. I'm just gonna shower." She didn't look back, leaving Maura bewildered at her abrupt departure. The blonde lost herself to thoughts of her dream and involuntarily recalled last night's horror. She shook her head to rid herself of the image of Jahid laying helplessly on her table. _I'm not going there._

When Jane came back into the room wearing only her towel, her impossibly long legs on full display, Maura's mouth almost gaped open and she momentarily forgot about the grief of her recent experience. Usually one for changing in the small cubicle, Jane had rushed in there and forgotten clean clothing. The tall woman smiled sheepishly and opened her draw for her underwear.

Maura sat cross-legged, staring as black briefs were shimmied up those legs, and then she remembered her very strict rule. _I'm not going there… but, oh my god, I want to._

The doctor inhaled deeply, closed her eyes, and exhaled. She was tempted to take another glimpse when her peripheral caught the movement of the dark blue towel falling to the floor, but instead busied herself by turning in the opposite direction and quickly dressed for the day.

"I have to go over some notes this morning so I'm going to grab a banana for breakfast. I'll see you at the hospital." Maura informed the tall woman who was tying up her boots. She almost changed her mind at the look of disappointment that crossed the beautiful face.

"Oh. Um, yeah ok. I might do that too so I can walk with you."

Maura smiled at the kind offer. "Thank you." She grabbed her laptop case from its place from under her bed and watched Jane as she finished lacing up her shoe. She was mesmerised by long fingers deftly pulling at the string.

"Maur?" Jane stood and frowned at the doctor. She walked over and placed her hand on the petite shoulder, startling her once again that morning.

"Gosh, sorry. I'm a bit tired." Maura tried to brush it off but Jane was not buying it. She let it go for now and started the thought process for trying to figure out how to get the doctor away for a day or two so she could have a mental break from work.

"You need to come home for dinner tonight, ok?" Jane's hand slid gently down Maura's shoulder to the small of her back and pushed her gently towards the door.

"Ok." Maura answered, overwhelmed by the fact that someone was concerned about her wellbeing.

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

"Dr Wassim, I—"

"Maura, it's just Abu." The Syrian man smiled kindly at the put together woman seated comfortably in the small armchair across from his desk. He chuckled when she rolled her eyes slightly and laughed harder when Jane scoffed at the familiar exchange.

It seemed that Maura was not one to be worn down easily but once again, when it was brought to her attention, she relinquished her firm stance on professionalism in the workplace no matter where she was, and smiled softly back at the older man.

Jane noted the way the two doctors sobered once again. Abu's dark eyes reflected some sort of worry and Jane began to speculate the worst as Vince Korsak and Jack Armstrong entered the office. _Why would Jack be here? I haven't heard of any HR issues._ She looked over to Maura again. The honey blonde kept her head down, eyes in her lap. _Is Maura leaving?_ "Hey guys." She greeted, trying not to convey her fear. Her stomach hurt.

"Hi Jane."

Vince gave a quick wave and a wink before settling into a chair.

Not one to waste time on pleasantries, Maura said hello to everyone as they entered, giving Jane an unconscious affectionate smile, and turned her attention back to the Chief of Medicine.

Abu looked around the room and smiled at the group of people that he respected sincerely. "Thank you for coming on such short notice. I wanted you all to hear about something Maura has raised as an issue. Go ahead Maura."

"Thank you, Abu." She turned to address the three others present. _"_ I would like to expound upon my concern from our last staff meeting. I can't emphasise this strongly enough, but we really need a mental health professional and a— a paediatrics department. If we can't provide—"

"We can't afford any more staff, Maura." Jack Armstrong offered gently even though the topic exasperated him. He admired the doctor's tenacity but they had already had this conversation several times.

This angered Maura more than she cared to admit. She looked at him with disdain and spoke calmly, but there was a coldness in her voice. "I do not give a _damn_ about what we can or cannot afford. I will forgo my salary to have someone here to provide at least some sort of service for children. We _cannot_ afford to have innocent lives suffer because we do not have the correct personnel or equipment here."

Before Jack could respond, Abu held his hand up for silence. "She's right, Jack. I understand I have no jurisdiction over what MSF does but it is my responsibility to let your team know the needs of this hospital… We lost a very young child yesterday for no good reason." He shared and watched the shocked faces. Maura remained impassive but he knew that it had affected her deeply. He had seen her weeping late last night after she visited the morgue. He had made sure to accompany the doctor home afterward.

Jane's eyes went wide. _What the? How did I not know that? That must have been why she had a bad dream and was so off this morning._ She looked over to the blonde with sympathy, her eyes welling up at how horrible it must have been for her. She wanted to reach out and hold her but gripped her knees tightly instead.

Maura spoke up with more emotion than any of them had heard her use before. "We didn't just lose a child… We practically killed him. I relied on a faulty machine and it—"

Korsak shook his head in disagreement and Abu's firm but compassionate tone caused the doctor to turn and face him. "Maura, I understand it was a very trying situation but you and the team did the bes—"

"No, we didn't, Abu. We didn't. There was no EpiPen in that drawer. There was no epinephrine in the room! He died because he wasn't immunised for whooping cough and we didn't even think to ask his grandparents if he was allergic to Bactrim!" Maura was slightly red in the face and quickly feeling embarrassed about raising her voice.

She didn't even realise that Jane had stood almost immediately to put her hand on her shoulder, her thumb rubbing soothingly over the silk blouse.

Jack felt terrible but still had no answer for the situation. "I agree that we need more staff but how are we supposed to pay for them?"

"Actually, Jack, we received news that someone is going to be making an anonymous donation to provide pay for two more doctors." Vince shared and gave Jane a conspiratorial grin, the relief on her face was palpable.

The HR coordinator frowned at the news. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"I just found out this morning on the way in." Vince clarified.

Jack's face lit up. "That's— well, great! How long for the funds to clear?"

"That's the tricky part. They will take a month before we see them. Can you speed up the process?" Vince asked Jack.

"I might be able to get us a week. Depends on who we hire. They might be ok with not receiving an initial weekly pay. Maura, do you have anyone in mind for the positions?"

Unfazed by the news, Maura answered, "Yes, I know a clinical psychologist in Greece and Ian has a friend from his hometown who is an OBGYN. I also have a friend who is a paediatric nurse in Boston that would like to come on a voluntary basis and set up an immunisation clinic."

"Wonderful!" Exclaimed Abu excitedly. "So, Maura will talk with the three of you regarding the hiring process. I do not need to be a part of that, that is Jane's job." And with that statement, the meeting was finished.

The smaller woman smiled gratefully at the Chief of Medicine and stood. "Thank you, Dr Wassim." Her eyes twinkled with some mischief at reverting back to addressing him by his family name. She reached her hand out and he stood with a grin and clasped her hand with both of his. Not only did he have tremendous respect for the Medical Coordinator, but he had come to care for her in the few months that she had been there.

"You're very welcome, Dr Isles." He let go and watched as she left the office, eager to get back to her duties. His gaze turned to Jane and he watched her face as she watched Maura leave. "Well, she really is something else, huh?" He stated lightheartedly and the three others still present in the room chuckled in agreement. It was made as a playful statement and Jane didn't feel the usual threat that a comment like that would insinuate about the competent doctor.

"Yeah, she really is." Jane acknowledged softly and turned back to Jack. "So, uh, hiring could take a couple of weeks? Does that mean you have to stay here or will you head back to New York and come back again?"

"I'll head back to NY asap. I think if Maura and Ian have connections, we should use those and get that in motion. The advertising process can be brutal and I don't wanna hang around here longer than I need to." He realised how it sounded and winced. "Sorry, no offence, I just miss my wife."

Vince clapped the young American man on the back and walked towards the door. "Can't blame ya, bud." He winked and shook his head, leaving the room.

Jack followed, leaving Jane and Abu alone.

"Jane, you and Maura just work out how to get those doctors here soon, ok?" Abu stated happily. He was excited about this new development.

The Head of Mission nodded. "Will do." She stood up from her seat but before she left the office, Abu stopped her.

"Jane?"

She turned to meet his curious gaze. "Yeah?"

"I know that none of us know Dr Isles well but—" He frowned, trying to gather the right words. "I- I thought that perhaps you would talk with her? You know, about last night? She was very upset."

The fact that he knew Maura had been upset and she hadn't, caused a flutter in Jane's stomach, and not in a good way. "Did you see her after?"

"Yes. She went to the morgue-"

"Aah jeez." Jane ran her hand through her hair, anxious at what that must have been like for the doctor.

"Not the best thing to do after a loss like that but doctors, well, we are a peculiar breed… She is strong, Jane, but she needs someone."

"Yeah, yeah she is and… of course. I'll chat with her."

"Thank you, Jane." He smiled at her, knowing he was leaving several important concerns in her care. He trusted her completely.

She smiled at him and left in search of her roommate.

* * *

Jane found the doctor sitting at her small desk in the corner of the office that she shared with the other four doctors. Her back was to the door as she hunched over paperwork, writing notes. The brunette paused at the doorway, leaning her upper arm against it, watching the unguarded movements for a few minutes.

Maura's hair was in a loose braid that left her elegant neck and shoulders mostly exposed for observation. There was a slight droop in her normally upright posture. Jane couldn't tell if it was because of the nature of the task she was performing or if the weight of last night's loss was still looming over Maura's head. Jane guessed the latter.

She gave the doorframe a soft knock and got the doctor's attention. "Maur?" She rasped, worry etched in her eyes when exhausted hazel met hers. She stepped into the room and closed the door, taking the two steps to Maura's chair and knelt in front of her, so they were face-to-face.

"Jane, I—". Maura looked at Jane with confusion, not understanding the tall woman's actions until a hand landed on her knee and a strong arm wrapped partially around her waist, a hand placed warmly in the middle of her back. The doctor's jean-clad legs parted slightly to accommodate the slim figure kneeling before her.

"I'm so sorry, Maur. I'm sorry about last night. About the boy." Was whispered into the honey blonde hair and she kissed it gently, trying to convey as much compassion as she could.

Maura tensed for a moment and wrapped her arm cautiously around the strong shoulders, not knowing where else to place it having Jane so close to her. _Why is she doing this? Why can't I put my usual guard up with her? She makes me feel so vulnerable and out of control._ The fight in Maura's mind continued and when the brunette made no move to let go, she finally stopped thinking enough to go limp in Jane's arms.

The relaxed but intimate embrace they were in caused Maura to let a bit more of her composure go. She buried her nose into Jane's neck and inhaled deeply. _This is what safety smells like._ She couldn't help but succumb to the warmth.

The hold didn't bring forward more tears but she did feel relief. Maura had never felt so safe or cared for by a friend, not even a lover, like she did by Jane right in this moment.

After a few minutes, Maura pulled back and cupped Jane's face with her right hand, her thumb brushing the prominent cheekbone. "I'm- I'll be ok." She reassured her more convincingly than she had that morning. Her hand fell back to her lap and Jane took it as a sign that she needed to let go to give the woman some space. She could tell that this was a big move for the reserved doctor.

Jane sat back on her heels and smiled softly. "Ok. I'm here if you need me. I have a few deliveries to unload but I'll be on site all day."

Maura smiled back gratefully. "Ok. Depending on any emergencies that might occur, maybe we can go home and get some lunch together?"

Jane's smile brightened and both dimples presented themselves. "Sounds perfect." The tall woman stood and made her way back to the door. "I'll come and find you when I'm hungry!"

Maura spun back around in her chair to face her work, chuckling to herself. Jane was always hungry so lunch could be anytime soon. That made her happy. She couldn't wait to see her roommate again today.

* * *

I hope it didn't cause too much distress for everyone!  
Let me know what you thought. I love feedback :) It truly is a great motivator.


	8. Chapter 8

Warning: Nothing graphic in this chapter but a few flashbacks/mentions of events from the last chapter.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 8** : Battle of wills: Part II

" _I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."  
_ \- Nelson Mandela

* * *

_MSF/ICRC Residence, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Maura lay in bed staring unseeing at the whirling ceiling fan. The movement caused the early morning sun's light to cast a shadow that flickered against the wall that her bed was adjacent to.

One bare leg had escaped the confines of the charcoal coloured sheet, the other still underneath. A toned arm rested underneath her head, the other sat comfortably just above her belly button on top of the soft material.

Her organic cotton slip was the coolest sleepwear she owned. As usual, the cream material had ridden up to her hips during the night. It was the most appropriate sleepwear she had that could withstand the heat of the Middle East. At least the hot weather would be coming to an end soon.

She sighed heavily and ran her hand across her stomach and bent her leg at the knee, resting it gently against the wall, trying to cool herself down more effectively. In all her years in Ethiopia she never had a problem with the heat, but this morning she had awoken to an arousing dream that had her temperature more elevated than normal. _At least it wasn't another nightmare._

The golden head tilted sideways towards the object of her desire; the star of her unconscious. She closed her eyes and exhaled, running her fingers down to the top of her panties, toying with the silk bow at the elastic, and then retracted them quickly. _No, I am not that desperate. Especially not enough to do that here, right next to her._

The brunette lay unaware of her roommate's predicament, snoring softly, curly hair splayed all over her pillow. Jane was on her stomach in her signature tank top and cotton shorts, her covers had been kicked messily to the end of the bed, her arms tucked under the pillow.

Maura eyed the toned arms and those long legs once more before sitting up slowly and running her hand through her soft hair. She got out of bed and went to the bathroom to have a cool shower and calm herself down before facing another long day at the hospital.

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

"Hey buddy." Jane smiled brightly as she pulled back the heavy curtain to reveal Sami sitting up in his hospital bed, eating breakfast. His sister was sitting in the chair beside him and smiled happily when she saw Jane enter the space. "Hi Yara."

"Jane! Good to see you." The young woman exclaimed. "He's finally eating." She pointed to her brother.

Jane grinned at the news. It had only been a few days since her friend had been coherent enough for visits. "How are you, Sami?" She wasn't sure if she was ready to know.

The Syrian man's face softened but his eyes held the same haunted look he had had since he woke up. "Hi Jane. I- I'm ok. Are you good?"

"Yeah, you know me. I'm always good." She sat at the edge of his bed, next to his feet and patted his shin. "But are you really ok?" She gave him a worried frown and rubbed his leg soothingly.

"No." He whispered as his dark eyes welled up with unshed tears at the comfort she offered and Jane moved closer to him. Yara gripped the arms of the chair having anticipated this moment since her brother had woken up.

"Aww, Sami. I'm so sorry." Was all Jane could say as he shook and tears finally left his eyes. Her long arms automatically wrapped around him and her own tears fell at his heartbreak.

In her peripheral, Jane saw the curtain being drawn to give them some privacy and the sound of heeled boots moving with it. _Maura._ Was her only thought as she tried to focus on what her friend was saying through his cries.

"Why Jane?" His hoarse voice sounded quietly in her ear. "W-why did they s-save me?" He sobbed harder and clung to her.

"Sami!" Yara scolded him, angry at his words.

"I'm grateful they did." Jane whispered back firmly, waving at Yara to sit back and relax. The woman looked like she was either going to punch her brother or cry at his words.

The booted heels sounded again and the curtain was moved aside slightly to reveal a honey blonde head. Apologetic hazel looked at the monitor and back to Jane. The Head of Mission understood and motioned Maura in. She pulled back from Sami without letting go and locked eyes with him. "Sami, Dr Isles- Maura needs to check you, ok?" He simply nodded, tears still streaming down his face, and laid his head back on the pillow, still holding onto Jane's hand.

"Seriously?" Yara muttered under her breath with as much attitude that she could muster and gave the smaller woman a cold stare.

Maura had no problem ignoring it and looked at Jane as she entered.

The brunette wiped the sweaty palm of her free hand on the top of her jean-covered thigh and then swiped at the tear tracks on her face, feeling vulnerable under the doctor's penetrating gaze.

Maura didn't take her eyes off of her as she approached the bed. She was followed by a tall man with very tanned skin and dark curly hair. The blonde gave her roommate a sympathetic look and turned back to give the man some instructions.

The Medical Coordinator approached the monitor to check Sami's vitals. "Hello Mr Malak. This is Dr Nick Manikas. He will be visiting you over the next few days to check on your mental health."

"Is that necessary?" Yara stood up and addressed the doctors, her arms folded in clear annoyance.

Maura looked pointedly at her. "Yes." She continued her examination of Sami, who had started crying softly again. "I'm sorry Mr Malak, I'm almost done."

"I— I don't want to-to live— without her… I don't want t—" The dark man lost his composure again and leaned into the person closest to him, desperate for comfort.

The contact startled Maura but she reacted perfectly as far as Jane was concerned. She also shocked the hell out of Yara. Her free arm reached around him and held him tightly. She spoke with such care and conviction into his ear. "Shh, I know, Sami. I know but it's going be ok. You're going to be ok and you're going to bounce back from this and be even stronger than you were before." The ferocity in which she spoke caused the whole room to introspect and consider that the woman speaking had been through her own horrors.

Unfortunately, the moment was interrupted by another doctor needing Maura's assistance.

"Dr Isles?!"

Her cheek still pressed to the top of Sami's head, Maura glanced across the room to look at Zahed. His black eyes were wide and his face expressed worry. Maura frowned and lifted her head in question.

"Dr Isles, Annabel um- Dr Kain needs you urgently at the northern mobile clinic." Zahed gave her the information and rushed out again.

Maura shook her head at the lack of detail and stood carefully, not wanting to break her hold of the crying man but also needing to leave in response to the request from one of their new recruits. "Sorry, I need to—"

"Go Maur. Nick and I have got this." Jane stood up and switched places with Nick. He spoke softly with Sami and Jane stepped closer to Maura, placing her hand on the small of the doctor's back, giving it a gentle rub. She leaned down to whisper in the smaller woman's ear. "I'll be right behind you." Jane smiled when she felt the smaller hand connect itself to hers and give it a gentle squeeze of appreciation.

"Thank you." Maura responded softly and, reluctantly slipping her hand away from the softness of Jane's, left the room.

Yara rolled her eyes and huffed but stopped when Jane gave her a firm look. The Syrian woman held up her hands in surrender and slumped back in her chair. "Ok, fine. She's not so bad once you crack into the icy exterior."

Jane just shook her head with a smirk and looked to Nick. "You ok here? I'm gonna make sure everything's ok with Annabel and Maura."

Without breaking eye contact with Sami, Nick nodded. "Yeah, we're ok." He smiled gently at the injured man and continued speaking as Jane slipped quietly out through the curtains.

* * *

_MSF mobile clinic, Northern Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Susie Chang glanced to her left and grinned at being in the field with her close friend and colleague again. _She hasn't changed._ She looked over the designer-clad but appropriately clothed body and smiled again at the familiarity of working together. _She seems to be doing better here than she was in Ethiopia. Thank god for that!_

Oblivious to the scrutiny, Maura continued to expertly handle the large vehicle as she dodged major potholes in the broken road on the 10 minute drive to the northern part of the city and their newly erected mobile clinic. The nurse was happy to see that the honey blonde seemed to be thriving on her current assignment.

Maura pulled the Toyota Highlander up to the large white tent that sat in the vast open space across from a shopping mall of all places. She grabbed her medical bag and Susie followed suit, trailing after her.

Annabel had seen the 4WD pull up and rushed out to meet them. "Maura, thanks for coming so quickly! Hi Susie!" The older woman brushed her light grey hair away from her face and wiped the sweat from her brow. She didn't seem distressed but she looked tired already and it was only 9am.

"Of course, Annabel, what do you need?" Maura questioned as the three of them entered the tent. "Oh my!" Her hand went to her chest in surprise at the overwhelming amount of women and children inside. It was stuffy and smelled of sweat. Jane had told her it would remain hot, in the high 80s, until late October. She calculated how much more of this weather they were in for. _Only about another month of intense heat._

Bright blue eyes looked intently at her in amusement, the Australian accent prominent as Annabel explained the situation. "I know! It's been like this since I arrived 2 days ago… I just need help for a few hours to finish the basic check ups and then I'll have Ian for this arvo. Susie, do you mind shadowing us and entering the referrals?" She handed the iPad over to the nurse.

"That's fine." The Taiwanese American woman answered with a happy smile and received the tablet to enter the necessary data to begin the referral process for patients that needed further care.

They moved further inside and Maura rolled up the sleeves on her dark button up shirt, ready to work. "What can I do?" She reached into her bag for her stethoscope and placed it around her neck.

"Just help me get the numbers down. Another wave of women will come in after lunch but the majority seem to come in the mornings with their children." Annabel continued to explain the system she had set up for recording and the trio began seeing to the dozens of patients.

"Susie, do we have any more acetaminophen?" Maura asked after giving the last of the current bottle she had to a toddler with a temperature.

"No, Annabel just ran at as well. I'll go and get some more from the pharmacy inside the mall across the road."

"Ok, take my credit card." Maura retrieved her phone from her medical bag and slid out the card she kept inside of the case at all times.

The younger woman pushed her glasses up her sweaty nose for what felt like the hundredth time that day and received the card. "K, I'll be back in a bit."

"Thank you."

As the dark haired woman left the tent, another dark haired woman entered.

Maura looked up at that moment and made eye contact with her roommate. They shared a brief smile with one another before the doctor placed the resonator of her stethoscope against the baby's chest and listened intently. The little boy grabbed at her face and she gave him a sweet smile, not allowing the mucus and dirt on the chubby fingers to bother her or deter her from her job.

Jane's heart melted a little more as she observed the blonde in her element. _If only the others could see her right now._ She reflected on how much the doctor had softened since she had arrived 4 months ago as she waited patiently for her to finish. _I wonder what she was like in Ethiopia? I wish Ian wasn't so difficult to talk to!_

Maura joined Jane at the front of the tent after using an antibacterial wipe on her face and hands. "Hi." She greeted, a sense of relief washing over her just by the presence of the older woman.

"Hey." Jane's dimpled grin reflected the feeling. "Need a break yet?" Her observant eyes took in everything that was happening inside of the tent.

"Yes, but I only can manage a few minutes." Maura allowed herself the time whilst she waited for Susie to return with the needed medication.

They stepped outside and just looked at each other for a few seconds. Maura broke the gaze first, loving and hating the intensity of it. She felt like Jane stripped down her defences too easily and left her feeling so vulnerable. She fought the urge to take a step back and out of the brunette's personal space but she also wanted to take the one step closer that would press their bodies together and give her the comfort she craved. She was sure strong arms would wrap around her without hesitation, like they had for Sami just a few hours earlier.

"Sorry I didn't come right away. I got held up helping Ian and Kent with some supplies. It looks like you guys have been busy?"

"Yes, it's been a bit hectic but starting to calm down now." She looked back up into the kind dark eyes that hadn't strayed from her face. "We need more medicine brought over later. Ian might need help loading it up."

Unable to be so close without some form of contact, Jane reached for the doctor's shoulder and rubbed it softly. "Ok, I can do that. Anything else?"

Maura unconsciously leaned slightly into the hand. "No, I think that's about all. I have two surgeries scheduled for tomorrow morning so perhaps you could be another set of hands here if you don't have anything specific planned?"

"You want me to play doctor for the morning?" Jane joked and induced a short, adorable laugh from the smaller woman.

"It's not difficult to take a temperature and administer acetaminophen."

Jane's face softened to reflect something deeper. "You do so much more than that though, Maur."

Maura lowered her head in discomfort at the appraisal. "I- It's not enough. Not when there is so much more to do."

"You can only do what you can do." Jane simply offered, not liking where the blonde's thinking was going.

"But, what if we _can_ do more but don't?" They both knew the smaller woman was referring to the disaster of losing Jahid just 2 weeks ago. She was still blaming herself, and there was nothing that Jane or Ian or anyone else said for that matter, that could change how she viewed it.

The few that knew her had all become quite concerned with how hard she was working to try and compensate. And Jane was concerned at the nightmares that woke them both up on a regular basis.

"Maura…" Jane watched the emotions cross the beautiful face and she took in the body language that conveyed so much more than the doctor was able to articulate. Maura's hands gripped each other tightly, her entire body coiled with imploding feeling. Then, as if it had suddenly blown over, she let go again, remaining quiet, leaving her eyes open to stare blankly at Jane. She had detached again but it was necessary to get her next few words out without breaking down. She wouldn't allow herself that luxury.

Maura finally spoke, her voice just above a whisper. "His death… It was senseless, so completely senseless…"

Jane watched her quietly, knowing that behind the unseeing eyes were burning thoughts of the little boy.

The words hung heavily in the air between them.

Jane reached for Maura's hand with both of hers and drew it close to her chest, watching the doctor's face turn slowly towards her again, her mind reconnecting to this moment. Maura acknowledged her touch with the briefest of smiles.

With a halting breath, the brunette tentatively spoke, her gravelly pitch reaching something deep inside of the other woman. "I know… and the more senseless it is, the harder it is to let go." She pulled the smaller woman closer and hugged her.

Maura buried her face into the long, elegant neck and whispered, "I'm trying but—"

Jane contained the shiver that Maura's lips at her throat induced. "You care so much and you are constantly trying to improve yourself, but Maur, you need to allow yourself to grieve."

"Grieve?" Maura tilted her head back and hazel eyes searched hers in confusion.

"Yeah… It's ok to grieve his loss, it's ok to feel everything you're feeling."

Maura's frown returned and she dropped her head back down, her temple resting against the outer edge of Jane's clavicle. "I don't want to know if it's _okay…_ I want to know how I can stop it from happening again." She whispered in frustration.

 _You can't save the whole world, Maura, thinking there's a cure to everything. There's no straightforward cure for this… not the pain I see in your eyes._ A brief wave of sadness gave way to a weary grin. "Are you planning on the discovery of immortality?" Jane asked jokingly.

Maura looked up again and gave a small smile. She actually understood the lighthearted jibe for once. "It's not about immortality… death is the natural progression of disease and it can't be helped. But something like this— something I could have _changed,_ that I should have had control over… I should have checked the monitor, I should have picked up on the symptoms. I should have asked—"

"Maur, don't—"

"I will always analyse myself like this, Jane. And I will always have regrets. Even the ice queen experiences human doubt every once in a while."

"You're hardly made of ice, Maura." Jane let go when the smaller woman started to pull away. She knew Maura had her limits and this was the most they had talked about the doctor's insecurities. She reached out and placed her hand on Maura's face, her thumb tracing her jawline for a moment before removing it. "You're one of the warmest people I know."

Maura's lips curved up a little, her heart aching with want and gratitude towards her friend. "Thank you." She responded softly and turned her head towards the tent. "I should get back in there. Susie will be back any moment with some pain relief."

The tension of the conversation and their proximity was over with for now and Maura was back to clinical mode. Jane was finding it easier each time to adjust but she still hated it.

"K. I brought you guys some cold water and fruit. I'll just get it from the truck."

"Oh, you're wonderful!" Maura exclaimed happily, not having a clue that her words produced a blush on the tanned cheeks she admired so much.

Jane watched the doctor retreat into the tent but snapped out of it when she realised that she was watching the firm backside encased in tight khaki jeans. _C'mon, Jane. Quit ogling her._ She opened the trunk door and retrieved the promised bag of goods.

She missed Maura changing her direction and exiting again, making her way to the 4WD to get something from the back seat.

Jane returned to the entrance of the tent but as she was about to move further inside, she was suddenly expelled sideways by a force that she had never experienced before. It was like a massive gust of wind that pushed her to the ground. The bag fell next to her, the items spilling out on the dirt. Her ears were left ringing momentarily from the sound.

Screams followed the loud explosion and chaos ensued.

Maura had been leaning into the back seat of the vehicle, retrieving a new suture kit, when she felt the metal frame rock from the blast. Her whole body moved with it and she turned around, horrified to see a section of the mall crumbling apart just a few hundred yards away.

Her only thought was of Susie.

The carefully orchestrated yet near-instantaneous sequence of hormonal changes and physiological reactions in her body signalled that her stress response had been triggered in less than a second.

Later she would reflect on the complex process in her brain that caused her to run towards the fire, but right now, all she could think about was getting to her friend.

Jane got up off the floor quickly, her eyes darting around in search of one person. She watched as mothers grabbed their children and ran into the open space outside. Annabel reached her side with wide, frightened eyes, grasping at her bicep in shock.

The Head of Mission couldn't see her roommate anywhere. "Where's Maura?" She rasped to the older woman.

"I don't know! She's not in here. I- I don't think anyone is hurt. It must have come from across the road!" They followed the small crowd outside and their eyes widened simultaneously.

"Maura!" Jane yelled as she watched the smaller figure run towards the blown away portion of Sammakia mall. Her long legs moved to follow before she became consciously aware of being in motion.

The honey blonde heard Jane but didn't turn around. She saw Susie laying on the tarmac and sped up to reach her. "Susie?" She knelt over the prone figure and was relieved to see that she was conscious.

"I'm ok." Susie groaned and sat up, holding the bump on the back of her head. Her face was lightly scraped along one side but otherwise she remained unharmed. Maura lifted her arm to shield herself as another explosion sounded just to her right.

"MAURA!" Jane's long arms encompassed the blonde from behind as another portion of the building blew up. She pushed her weight forward to cover both women in an attempt to protect them from any potential debris. Fortunately the most recent blast was at the other end of the mall. "Maura, we need to get out of here!" Jane tried to pull her up but Maura fought to stay close to the ground.

"No, I need to—" She stopped when Susie stood up and started backing up across the road, away from the crumbling building.

"Come on, Maura." The nurse called out when the blonde failed to move.

"C'mon!" Jane shouted, reaching for her, but Maura was frozen, staring at the building, not knowing how many people were trapped in there and how she would get to them. She automatically took a step towards it but the tall body moved in front of her to stop her progress. "Maura!" Jane's hands grasped her shoulders and she was snapped out of her stupor long enough to consider preserving her life. The brunette's hand held hers tightly as they ran back to the tent to join the crowd watching as the Sammakia shopping mall slowly collapsed.

They later discovered that an anti-government militant group were responsible for the attack as well as several more further north, all the way up to the Turkish border.

Over 55 people were killed and there were double the amount of casualties that had all hospital personnel busy well into the evening.

* * *

_MSF/ICRC Residence, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Maura exited the shower for the second time that day and, too exhausted to dress herself, fell onto her bed face first. She moaned at the feel of finally getting off her feet.

"That good huh?" Jane joked as she entered the room with something to eat for both of them. The Italian woman had had gotten home an hour earlier and showered. She had decided to keep herself busy making dinner so that she didn't fall asleep before Maura got home.

"I'm sooo tired." The honey blonde whined and lifted her head when the smell of food hit her olfactory senses. Her stomach grumbled. She hadn't eaten since 7am that morning. It was now 11pm. "What is that?" She brushed her hair out of her face and rolled onto her side, not realising that in her relaxed state, her towel had come untucked.

Jane's eyes darkened at the exposed portion of the toned body and she placed the tray on the bedside table. "Uh, it's just um— spaghetti."

Maura sat up enthusiastically and put her hair up in a messy bun. Her towel dropped to her waist at the action, leaving her upper half exposed and she pulled it back up without any sense of embarrassment. "Oh, I've been craving carbohydrates!"

Jane's cheeks flushed bright red and for the first time, Maura noticed her roommate's disposition and linked it to her nakedness. _Is she flustered by my nudity? Hmm… I think she is._ Maura wasn't sure why but she was confident that Jane was avoiding eye contact with her for as long as she remained in her towel. The brunette seemed to relax and became less anxious once she changed into a t-shirt and sleep shorts. _Could she be attracted to me? No… It doesn't matter anyway._ Maura ended her internal musings with the abrupt reminded that she was not going to break her rule.

The flushed cheeks didn't go away though. Nor did the darkness of Jane's eyes until Maura changed the subject once they had finished eating. She got into her bed and lay facing her roommate who was mirroring her position on her own bed. "I need to go to A'zaz tomorrow. Should I take Frankie or Barry with me?"

Those dark eyes flashed with something else that Maura didn't discern until they got into the conversation further. "What for?"

"Well, they are both trusted members of our team and I need a security presence there—" Maura started to explain.

"No, I mean, why do you have to go?"

Maura frowned, not understanding why Jane asked. "Didn't you hear about the clinic that was attacked there today? The same militant group that attacked the mall are responsible."

Jane raised her voice slightly, frustrated at the explanation. "I know what happened but why do you need to go?!"

Maura sat up, feeling defensive and worried that she had upset her friend. "I'm the Medical Coordinator for this region, it's my responsibility to—"

The Italian woman sat up too, her anger obvious. "Bullshit!" Maura's eyes widened at the expletive aimed at her but remained silent as Jane continued. "Not when there's danger! Don't you realise that there are land mines, traps, and other improvised explosive devices planted in fields, along roads, on the roofs of houses, under walkways, in market stalls…" She rubbed her face to fight tears. Her fear from today causing her to have an emotional reaction to the doctor's need to continue to risk herself for the sake of others.

"Jane I—" Maura tried to respond softly, hurt evident in her voice but realisation slowly creeping into her consciousness.

Jane raised her volume unintentionally and stood, looking down at the smaller woman, pointing her finger in accusation. "You could have been hurt today! You- you went _running_ into a dangerous situation and—"

Maura stood up to challenge Jane but the tall woman moved away and paced the length of the room, stopping near their bedroom door. _She cares about me more than I can understand…_ The doctor had a hard time grasping that anyone could care so much after such a short period of knowing one another. "I was _running_ to help Susie!"

"I know that, Maura." She stated, feeling defeated. Her arms folded in front of her in a guarded posture. "But it was fucking stupid… Brave… but stupid. You could've been killed and I—" She stopped herself again when she started to get upset and raise her voice. "I don't want anything to happen to you." She admitted, worried that the doctor would see right through her. _I don't want anything to happen to you because… I need you._ She hadn't put words to her feelings yet. This was the first time she had acknowledged to herself that they ran so deeply.

The admission softened Maura and she walked over to Jane, pulling at her folded arms, desperate to feel them around her. She wasn't disappointed. She hummed softly into the tall woman's sternum when strong arms enveloped her shoulders and Jane's head rested against the top of hers. Their bodies pressed closely as Maura snaked her arms around Jane's middle. _God, why does she have to feel so good._ "Please, Jane. I _have_ to go and help them." She surprisingly held on tightly when Jane tried to move away, upset at the request. "I can't let fear get in the way of my job… It- it can't control me. I know the dangers of this job but I do it anyway. Just the same as you do…" There was a long pause and Maura held her breath, waiting for a response. She didn't get one. "Come with me?" She asked in a whisper as she ran her nose ever so slightly over Jane's collarbone before leaning back to look into those dark eyes to await an answer.

Jane's pulse thrummed rapidly. _Holy f— she has no idea what she's doing to me._ "F-fine." She huffed to try and mask her arousal, obviously unable to deny the blonde what she wanted anyway. She closed her eyes to stop herself from sealing her defeat with a kiss and was relieved when her waist was released. _How did I concede so damn easily? Admit it, Jane. She has you completely wrapped around her little finger already._

"Thank you." Maura stated honestly as she got back into bed. "Jane?"

Jane sauntered back to her own bed and laid down, staring blankly up at the ceiling. "Yeah?"

"I feel a lot safer with you coming."

Jane looked over to the doctor and made her own confession. "I feel a lot better knowing I'm coming with you… You better get some sleep. Night, Maur."

"Goodnight, Jane."

* * *

It was always the same.

Jahid lay there, his dark eyes staring blankly back at her. The blue tinge on his lips reminding her of how cold they felt against her own as she tried to revive him.

The quiet but strangled cry that sounded from the doctor was enough to have Jane leaping out of bed and leaning over her, sitting on the edge of the mattress. "Maur? Maur, it's just a dream. Shh, it's ok." She carefully shook the smaller woman who had curled into a ball, facing away from Jane, towards the wall. "Shh, sweetheart. You're ok." Jane gently rubbed her back until Maura seemed to relax and drift back to sleep.

* * *

_MSF mobile clinic, A'zaz district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

The next morning the pair, along with Franky and Frost, drove north on the 214 highway to get to the MSF clinic site that had been attacked the day prior. Jane watched in awe as Maura helped the two doctors and three nurses reestablish their sense of self-worth and motivation for being there. The petite woman had no idea what a calming effect she had on them but her three companions witnessed it and were quite shocked to hear the blonde speak so passionately.

No one would have even considered that just a few hours prior, Maura was in the throes of a nightmare, induced by her own insecurities and failings. Jane didn't dare bring it up, unsure of whether the doctor remembered or not.

"Damn, where is _that_ Dr Isles in Aleppo?" Barry joked, shaking his head in wonder, having no idea that Maura cared so deeply about what she did and the people she cared for.

Jane forgot regularly that she got to see a side of Maura that not many others did, with the exception of the medical staff who had been in the OR with her. "She's there." She answered simply as she continued to watch the doctor administer care to the few patients that needed her expertise.

Frankie folded his arms and watched his sister watch the blonde. A knowing smile threatened to appear on his face. "So, is it coz she cares so much that you think she gets all clinical? Like, she feels so deeply that it freaks her out and she just, I dunno, detaches?" He asked genuinely. He chuckled at Jane's surprised look. "What?" His dark eyes, much like her own, widened in mock-innocence.

"I'm shocked, Frankie. I didn't think anything that deep could come outta you." She gave him a light shove and Barry laughed at their banter.

"Makes sense." The African American man agreed.

Jane nodded at both of them. "Yeah, I think that's exactly it."

That was all she gave them in response and her brother shoved her jokingly again, not wanting to silently wait for Maura to finish. Jane laughed and pushed him back. The shoving turned into light punches that turned into rumbling and before they knew it they had a small audience of giggling children watching them with great interest.

The scuffling ensued as the equally competitive pair wrestled for dominance. Jane placed her foot strategically behind her brother's as he stepped back and he began to lose his balance, Barry grasping his shoulders to help him stay upright.

"Ahem." Maura cleared her throat as she stood amongst the small bodies, arms folded and an amused smirk on her face.

The Rizzoli siblings pulled away from each other after quickly, feeling sheepish at being caught by the professional woman in such a juvenile moment. They still managed to exchange a few more joking punches and straightened up their twisted clothing.

"Ready to go?" Jane asked the doctor as she pulled her t-shirt down to cover her well defined abdominals. She missed the quick glance Maura spared the action, too focussed on the answer to her question.

"Yes, I just need to give Dr Palmer the spare kit that I brought with us. She needs a replacement until their next supply run arrives."

"I'll grab it." Frankie offered and jogged over to the truck.

Once Maura handed over the medical equipment and they all said goodbye, the small group got into the vehicle and headed back down the highway, happy and relieved to have had a surprisingly uneventful day.

* * *

Another intense chapter coming up soon...


	9. Persistence

Another intense chapter that is most definitely not for the weak-stomached. Medical trauma and graphic details of miscarriage (sorry for the spoiler but I don't want to blindside anyone that has been through this).

* * *

 **CHAPTER 9** : Persistence

_"_ _Nations, like stars, are entitled to eclipse. All is well, provided the light returns and the eclipse does not become endless night. Dawn and resurrection are synonymous. The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul."  
_ _\- Victor Hugo_

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Jane entered the busy meal room and for the first time in a while, it didn't quieten because of the subject matter. She had become accustomed to hearing snippets of gossip at the hospital regarding her roommate's latest endeavours and the dissection of her clinical and detached mode of operation.

Today, no one was speaking ill of the blonde doctor and Jane sighed in relief. _I wonder if they are all starting to realise how incredible she is at her job and how much we need her here?_ She doubted it, but she did know that since the loss of the young boy a month ago, those who had worked with the doctor now had a deeper respect for her, and the rest of the medical and MSF staff were paying attention to that.

Contemplating all of this, Jane retrieved her container of leftovers from the refrigerator and heated them up in the filthy microwave that no one had obviously cleaned in some time. Jane felt a presence beside her just as the 'ding' signalled that her food was ready.

"Oh, that's disgusting!" Maura's revolted tone sounded comically to her left. Jane let out a loud laugh, causing Charlie and Grace to look over at them in amusement and curiosity.

The tall woman handed her heated food over to Maura. "Here, take mine. That way you don't have to go through this horrific experience." She chuckled and was surprised when it was accepted. Shaking her head as the honey blonde walked away grumbling a 'thanks', Jane quickly heated up leftovers from the same meal in the same type of container and then made her way over to sit across from the doctor. She expected to enter into a lighthearted conversation to take her mind off of work but Maura was in professional mode.

"Dr Kain needs Susie at the clinic again tomorrow. Do you think we could work out some kind of schedule to allow this on a regular basis?" The doctor asked as she delicately cut up a portion of her meal and placed a piece into her mouth.

Jane sat and watched her work methodically on her food. She had noticed early on in their meal sharing how systematic the doctor was in her approach to eating. It was oddly endearing.

"Jane?" Maura's concerned voice sounded and she placed her knife down to reach for the brunette's hand. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah, fine. Sorry, I'm just tired… Uh, yeah. Yeah, I can help with that but seriously, you're the Medical Coordinator. You put them wherever you think will be best."

"But you're my boss and I'm supposed to run these decisions by you."

"I trust you, Maur. You know what you're doing." She changed the subject before it got too uncomfortable. "Have you got a busy week ahead?"

"Not in terms of scheduled surgeries but I'm sure it will be the same as every other week."

Jane grinned knowingly. "Well, I was thinking that we could take Friday morning off and go to the markets? They've just reestablished a portion of the historical Al-Madina souq in the centre of the city and it has the best fresh produce."

Maura's hazel eyes lit up at the idea. "That sounds incredible." She pulled out her small black leather diary and jotted it down. "I don't have any appointments or surgeries scheduled that morning… It's a date!"

She missed the grin on Jane's face at her last comment.

Only halfway through their meal, Aya interrupted with a polite clearing of her throat. "Uh, sorry Dr Isles, Dr Faulkner has requested your help with the MRI equipment." She lowered her voice and whispered with amusement. "He can't figure out how to turn it on!"

Maura withheld a laugh and wiped her mouth on her napkin. "Sure. I'll be right there, Ms Hafez." She stood and cleared up her items.

Jane's left eyebrow raised in question when she heard the formal address. _I thought that she was relaxing more with the formalities._ Aya rolled her eyes before the doctor looked back up and caught Jane's look.

"Sorry, Aya." Maura stated apologetically.

"No problem, Maura. I'll see you shortly." The dark woman smiled and left the meal room.

* * *

_Al-Madina Souq, Al-Madina district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

"Oh my gosh, Jane! I'm so excited!" Maura stated happily as she exited the vehicle.

Jane smiled at the childlike happiness on Maura's face and jumped down from the driver's side of the 4WD. She rounded the back of the truck and stood next to the beaming blonde.

Jane grinned at her companion and felt her heart thud heavily in her chest when the smaller hand gripped her arm with enthusiasm. She knew she was blushing when the soft hand stayed wrapped around the inside of her elbow, the doctor's thumb moving unconsciously on the smooth skin she found there.

"I love that you're really excited but please stay near me." The taller woman stated with a soft warning.

Maura nodded in agreement and kept her hand in the crook of Jane's arm. She tried not to feel nervous as they passed through the entry of the market where several Free Syrian Army officers were gathered. Not that she was afraid of them but she knew the history of the civil war in Aleppo and the destruction she was about to encounter because of the fighting between the Free Syrian Army and the Syrian Armed Forces.

The doctor grasped Jane's arm a little more tightly when they entered a narrow alley that was vibrant with colours of various silks and wools. Jane looked at her with some amusement and a lot of adoration. Hazel eyes twinkled brightly at all of the options.

They spent the rest of their time looking at, touching, smelling, and, of course, purchasing much of the produce that the vendors were selling. When they were finally done, Maura had bought enough to feed their whole household.

It wasn't how Jane would typically spend a rare Friday morning off but seeing Maura's face, she couldn't think of anything better.

Jane's stomach grumbled and she looked at her watch. It was almost lunch time. "There's a food stand around the next corner. I need to eat something if we're going to keep exploring."

Maura smiled at her. "Ok, that sounds great."

Jane looked at her watch and frowned. They had been gone from the base for 2 hours. "We probably should only be gone for another half hour. I haven't had a call yet but I don't want to push the limits."

"Mmm, yes, I suppose I agree." Maura joked gently and finally let go of Jane's arm for the first time since they had arrived.

The Head of Mission smirked at the smaller woman and shook her head. The doctor really was opening up more and more. It was wonderful to see her so relaxed and full of joy.

The feeling stayed until they got back to their room. Both of them flopped down on their beds, tired from putting groceries away and from the full morning of exploring.

"Just 10 minutes and then I'll head to the hospital." Maura said as she tried to stifle a yawn. Her eyelids already heavy, she closed them and fell asleep within seconds.

30 minutes later, Jane leaned over the smaller woman and smiled with affection, not wanting to wake her but they both needed to get back to work. Her hand reached for a warm shoulder and hazel eyes blinked open. A soft smile graced the doctor's face and she looked up at Jane. "I slept longer than 10 minutes didn't I?"

Jane grinned at her and winked. "Not by much."

Maura smiled back and woke herself quickly, splashing water on her face and changing her attire for a long shift ahead. Jane waited patiently and within a few minutes the pair were walking back to the hospital and ready to face whatever the afternoon had in store for them.

* * *

_Al-Quds Hospital, Jami'a al-Zayraa district, Aleppo Governorate, Syria_

Frankie and Barry stood at the front of the hospital chatting about what they ate for dinner when a sedan pulled up and a young Syrian man flung open the door on the driver's side. He yelled at their startled faces.

"Nahn bihajat lilmusaeada!" _(We need help!)_ He waved them over frantically and both men ran towards the car and looked on in shock when he opened the rear door to reveal a young woman laying on her back, groaning in agony, her blood soaked dress clinging to her legs.

Barry didn't mean to but he held his hand up to his mouth as his gag reflex triggered. He turned away before he threw up.

"Min fadlik saeidnaa!" _(Please help me!)_ The woman begged, trying to sit up but unable as a wave of dizziness overcame her. She closed her eyes and fought to stay conscious.

"Shit!" Frankie exclaimed as he waved at his friend to get help. "Don't just stand there, Frost!"

Barry nodded rigorously and ran the few metres into the main entrance of the hospital to get the head nurse's attention. "Aya! Aya, we- there's a- we need a stretcher and help outside right NOW!" He didn't wait for her and returned to the scene, keeping his distance.

The young man who had driven the woman there was trying to help get her out of the car but Frankie put a hand on his shoulder and told him to wait. The security guard was grateful that the man was able to speak some English.

"Please! My wife need help." He was crying now. He wiped his sweaty brow and smudged blood across his forehead.

Frankie grimaced at the sight and felt compassion overwhelm him for this man. "Hey buddy, it's ok. She's gonna be ok." The Italian wrapped an arm around the slightly shorter man's shoulders and steered him to the side as Aya, Maura, Kent, and Ian came running outside , the two men carrying a stretcher.

"Madha yahduth huna?" _(What's going on?")_ Aya asked the husband who was still leaning heavily against Frankie.

"'Iinaha tnzf! altfl. 'Anaha haml! Alraja' musaeadatiha!" _(She's bleeding! The baby. She's pregnant! Please help her!)_ He watched helplessly as the medical team went to his wife's aid.

"What did he say, Ms Hafez?" Maura asked as she reached for the moaning woman and placed her hand to her forehead, just below the material covering the woman's head.

Ian rolled his eyes at the ice cold front and muttered, "It's Aya, Maur."

Maura ignored him and waited for a response from the head nurse.

Slightly taken back by the returned formality, Aya responded without a hitch, also putting on her professional front. "She's pregnant, Dr Isles." She turned back to the man to ask about what happened and then back to Maura right away to fill her in. "Her name is Fatima. She's about 20 weeks. He said he doesn't know what happened. He came home from night shift and she was already bleeding and laying on the bathroom floor."

Maura nodded in thanks and addressed her colleague. "Get her onto that stretcher." She instructed and moved out of the way so that Ian and Kent could reach into the car.

Aya explained what was happening to Fatima as Kent and Ian manoeuvred her from the car.

As soon as the woman was on the stretcher, Maura directed Aya, Kent, and Ian as the three of them wheeled the stretcher inside. "Get her into OR 2. She's haemorrhaging and her temperature is at least 104."

Jane was exiting the meeting room when the four medical staff raced past her. She winced at the scene and decided to follow to make sure they had plenty of help if necessary.

Not following all of the way into the operating room, Jane stood at the door and watched through the small glass panels. Frankie approached with a sobbing young man and Jane put the pieces together. She motioned her brother away from the door and down the corridor to where there were a few chairs for them to sit on and wait. She went back to the window and watched in awe of everything unfolding before her eyes.

Kent scurried about preparing fluid, the blood pressure monitor, and other necessary items required to proceed with an operation.

Ian and Aya held the young woman down as best they could while Maura felt the slightly bulging lower abdomen. Aya continued to interpret for the doctors and did her best to help keep the woman calm.

Maura frowned at what she was feeling and spoke to Ian, her eyes darted to the doorway when Nasim Feyrouz, another local nurse entered to help. Her eyes made contact with Jane's and she waved her forward to come inside the room.

A quick glance up to the heart monitor and Maura began instructing her staff. "Blood pressure is 80/45. Pulse 97… Ian, get a general and an IV started… Aya, 25mg of Premarin into her asap." The head nurse smiled at the switch to the informal use of her first name and counted it as a personal victory.

Ian gave her a satisfied smile and turned back to the patient. He carefully removed the woman's hijāb and placed the mask over her mouth and nose. "Shh, it's ok, darlin'. You're gonna be alright." He tried to soothe the scared, shaking woman. It worked. The young woman relaxed and her eyes began to flutter closed.

"Nurse, two units of O negative."

"Yes, Dr Isles." Nasim rushed to do the doctor's bidding, not caring right now that her name was not known.

Maura continued to push and massage the area that seemed to be causing the woman pain, trying to figure out the source of the bleeding besides the obvious signs of miscarriage. "I can't confirm until I've done an ultrasound but it feels as though she has a large vascular mass in or around her uterus." She stood and walked over to Jane but addressed Ian. "We need the portable—"

"Ultrasound. On it!" He raced out of the room to retrieve the equipment.

Before the smaller woman could say anything, Jane asked, "How can I help?"

Maura's face softened. _God, she's wonderful. "_ Could you please get me a gown and surgical cap?" She smiled when Jane nodded and retrieved the items for her. Maura quickly put her hair in a loose braid and washed her hands thoroughly. Gloves on and ready for the rest of her attire, her smile broadened when Jane was back in mere seconds.

The tall brunette reentered the room and naturally opened the gown up for Maura to push her arms into. Jane stepped slightly closer to tie it at the back of the doctor's neck, her arms fitting loosely around the petite shoulders. It wasn't until she was finished that she realised their close proximity. _Oh, uh-_ She couldn't even form an internal dialogue as Maura's perfume invaded her senses and she fought the impulse to kiss the blonde head. Thankfully her fingers continued automatically and she tied the back of the doctor's cap with ease.

Maura was having a flashback of the first time Jane had done this for her and felt warmth seep through her body at the familiarity of it.

What felt like several minutes for the pair was only about 15 seconds, then they were snapped back to reality by Ian barging back into the room with the portable ultrasound machine. He didn't fail to notice how close they were though before they were practically shoved apart by his entrance.

"Thank you, Jane." In an instant Maura was back to professional mode. She strode over to Ian and started to retrieve the transducer to perform the much needed scan. "Oh my goodness!" Her suddenly raise in voice and pitch had everyone in the room looking at her, afraid of having done something wrong. "How old is this?!" Maura asked, repulsed by the ancient piece of equipment, especially after her last encounter with a malfunctioning monitor.

"It's old, Dr Isles, but she's a sturdy one!" Aya claimed with a smile.

Ian and Jane laughed and the nurses breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ok. See this?" Maura pointed to the monitor and circled an area with her finger. Aya watched intently, fascinated that the doctor had even thought to check for a deeper problem than what was obvious. "It looks like she was about 19 weeks pregnant." The figure of the foetus easily discernible on the screen. "D & C might be necessary but I'm concerned that she has a large fibroid that is causing the bigger clots." The honey blonde turned to see the head nurse paying close attention to her words. "How do her vitals look, Aya?"

Dark brown eyes widened, glanced at the monitor, and she responded promptly. "Uh, blood pressure still low. Oxygen at 97. Pulse 73." She checked the bleeding. "Haemorrhaging seems to have slowed down."

"Ok. This is too large to go in vaginally." Maura looked intently at the screen as she held the transponder to the woman's bare pelvis. "This is probably the biggest tumour I've seen in a long time." She grinned at Ian, loving the challenge of something different.

Ian faltered slightly at her excitement. He honestly loved this side of Maura; passionate and exuberant at the discovery and the confidence that she exuded in her ability to problem-solve and mend what wasn't working. She was truly in her element. However, her history with this subject in particular had him worried at her detachment. He would leave it for now and check in on her later. He frowned at her. "So, hysterectomy?"

"Mmm, no. It's one large tumour. I'm going to try and remove it before we get to that drastic of a measure."

Ian knew where this was coming from. "Maura, she's bleeding profusely and that tumour is the cause—"

"I know what is causing it, Dr Faulkner. Let me do my job." She commanded with finality and he ducked his head in acceptance.

There was dead silence as they prepped quickly for the procedure and Maura hunched over the small body, scalpel in hand and medical staff at the ready for any command she might give. Her left hand glided an inch in from the pubic bone and without hesitation, Maura applied the perfect amount of pressure to the muscle, making an incision. Dragging the scalpel through the subcutaneous fat and superficial epigastrics, she managed to avoid the vessels that were ascending branches of the deep circumflex iliac artery, just beneath the obliques. She made sure to take the fascial layers separately allowing minimal bleeding to occur.

Once Maura had the young woman clamped open and began operating on the woman's reproductive system, Jane had to turn her head. Usually unfazed by blood and guts, so to speak, seeing a deceased unborn baby being extracted, no matter how premature, was gruesome.

Even Aya had to control her emotions at the scene.

Ian watched Maura intently. Her face impassive as she performed the task with ease. It wasn't that the procedure itself was much of a challenge. Abdominal surgery whilst not basic knowledge, was not difficult with someone of Maura's skill level, and a fibroid removal was far from life-threatening. They all knew that the young woman's situation could have been dire had she not come to the hospital but she was in the best hands possible.

Ian's concern was the fact that Maura seemed to not even show the slightest hint of anything when she retrieved the almost 1 pound body from its mother - skull, arms, legs, and other extremities easily identifiable. She continued to request suction when the bleeding became significant and cauterisation once it was controlled. The process was over fairly quickly.

"Aya, send the endometrium to pathology for examination. Close up please, Ian?" Maura half asked half instructed and took a step back from the operating table. It was then that Ian noticed her face pale and the terror in the hazel eyes flash briefly before she composed herself and turned away from the bloody mess.

"Uh yeah, Maur. I got it. Um- Jane?! Take Maura to clean up, would you?"

Jane turned around and frowned at Ian's tone. She had never heard him sound quite panicked before. She took the few steps over to Maura and placed her hand on the small of her back, leading her out of the room, trying to catch a glimpse of her face.

Maura took off her gown and stood at the wash basin, looking down at her blood covered gloves. In a frantic move she pulled at them and they dropped into the sink, she then turned on the hot water faucet, and began scrubbing her hands and arms furiously with soapy water. Jane's eyes widened in shock and she rushed to calm the doctor.

"Maura!"

As soon as her hands touched Maura's shoulders, the smaller body spun and crumpled into hers, heaving with sobs. Small hands gathered Jane's t-shirt into her fists and Jane's strong arms wrapped around her back, holding her up.

"Hey, hey, shhh." Jane pulled Maura tightly against her, bending her knees on either side of the smaller woman's to take the majority of her weight. The blonde's face was buried in her neck, her tears trailing down Jane's collarbone.

After a few minutes Maura stopped sobbing and kept her nose pressed to Jane's throat. She stood a little more upright, taking her weight back onto her own feet. "I'm sorry." Was all she could whisper out hoarsely. Her hands still clenching Jane's shirt.

The taller woman didn't let her move much. She kept her lips to Maura's forehead. "Don't be." She whispered into soft skin and inhaled deeply. "I've got you." They stayed that way for another half a minute before an embarrassed and awkward feeling Maura pulled away slowly, wiping at her eyes, and trying to smooth the wrinkles she had caused in Jane's t-shirt. She ignored the fluttering in her chest as her fingers smoothed over well defined rectus abdominus muscles and she felt Jane's hands on her hips. She didn't want the embrace to end.

"I ruined your shirt." Watery hazel eyes looked up into compassionate brown as her fingers continued to try and rub out the creases. Their faces so close to each other.

"Don't care." Jane responded seriously and moved her arms from the narrow waist to reach around the slender shoulders and loosen the ties on the doctor's surgical cap. The move pressed their upper halves snugly together. Maura slumped against Jane's solid body once more. Her arms wrapped around the taller woman's middle and she held tightly, her head resting on Jane's chest.

Surprised at the sudden initiation, Jane was far from complaining. She removed the cap and smoothed out the honey blonde hair that was still in a loose braid, and wrapped her long arms around Maura's shoulders tightly, "I've got you, Maura." She repeated the soothing phrase a few more times until the doctor relaxed. _Is it so wrong that this feels so good? I hate that she's so upset but god, I wish I could hold her like this more often._

Jane wasn't sure how long Maura would have stood there being held but she felt cold when the smaller body pulled away at the sound of the operating room doors opening. The brunette watched as she wiped at her eyes once more and looked up at her with a small smile of appreciation.

"I— I'll see you at home, Jane." The doctor stated and then turned to walk towards her currently empty but shared office at the end of the corridor.

"K." Jane exhaled softly, knowing Maura didn't care about a response at that moment.

A hand on her shoulder startled her and she might have laughed if Ian didn't look so serious. "Jane, how is she?" He asked worried.

The Head of Mission ran her hand over her face and scrubbed it with some force, unsure of what caused the stoic woman to lose her composure. "Jesus, Ian. What on earth happened?" She turned to look at him. _Is he crying?_ His green eyes looked a little glassy and full of concern.

He rubbed his head and frowned. He knew that he couldn't say anything but he also knew that Jane cared a lot about his friend. "Uh- you should ask her, Jane."

Jane respected his silence but was frustrated that it wasn't something she would gain understanding about quickly. "I will."

Ian nodded and then paused a moment. "Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"Just— don't push too hard. She um- it's a tough topic for her for a number of reasons and if she feels cornered, she clams up." He shared the little bit of insight that he didn't know she was already aware of and left her to ponder it further on her own.

* * *

Sorry, just a short one but intense and hard to write... Hopefully not too long before the next update.  
Thanks for your patience, everyone! Keep the reviews coming :) I could use the motivation.


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